09/23/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

10 Obama/Biden Gaffes (So Far)

While you were probably out doing some Saturday-ish thing, some weekendy thing, I was watching the Springfield speeches. I came away fired up -- I'll explain why below -- but was also intrigued by the many goofs and gaffes! I'll call them GOOFFES.


Barack takes the stage right on time at 3:00 PM: I like the punctuality! This heavily mitigates GOOFFE #1: The way about 12 hours earlier, in the middle of the night, his campaign blasted everyone a text/email message about his VP choice, which people already knew if they were awake, because the media spoiled it. Another mitigator, though: Jobama/Obiden talked only for a combined 35 minutes, which was perfect.

GOOFFE #2: Shortly after getting on stage, Barack (classily) gives a tribute to the recently deceased Stephanie Tubbs Jones, and the crowd barely applauds. They clapped louder for Loretta Durbin when Barack mentioned her loveliness. I think this might just have something to do with the fact that Tubbs Jones actively supported Hillary. Shame on this crowd.

GOOFFE #3: Barack tells us Biden stuttered as a child. "They called him B-B-Biden," he says. The crowd isn't sure whether to laugh or not, and you can tell Barack is wondering who the f*** put this uncomfortable tidbit in his speech. Still: It's good to hear STORIES. Stories are what voters and people like.

Barack misreads his TelePrompTer™ for GOOFFE #4: In derisively alluding to Cheney's energy meetings, he says we don't need more secret oil task forces "attacking... er, stacked... with" oil industry people. Sun got in his eyes, I guess. Small gooffe, we'll let it go.

Not a gooffe but an observation on something that didn't work: The whole glorification of Wilmington, and how Biden commutes on Amtrak and knows every conductor and isn't it wonderful that Biden never bought a house or condo in D.C. I don't see the point here. That makes him less of an insider? He prefers to hang with the 1,001 banks and credit card companies back home? Lobbyists aren't allowed in Delaware?

GOOFFE #5 -- this one's a doozy. As Barack's voice rises to a yell -- and one with righteous anger in it, which I think is great, actually -- a departure from the polite Patrician ways of the last Dem nominee -- and he crescendos into the big intro, he says/yells: "...the next President -- next VICE President: Joe Biden!" Uh, whoops.

The music -- Bruce Springsteen at the front of the program, U2 on the way out -- is a clunker for me. Undignified. Panderiffic. That's GOOFFE #6.

GOOFFE #7: Biden's hair. Look, it doesn't really matter, okay? But it was distracting. Joe needs to tell his barber to take a little more off the back and sides. The wind caught his long white wisps and the hairspray present in his hair caused the long tufts to stay standing perpendicular to his head through the whole speech. He looked like Grandpa Munster meets Paulie Walnuts meets George Washington. I'll bet the "visuals" crew were crapping their pants the whole time, wishing they could run up there and fix his damned hair! I know I wanted to.

Most awesome GOOFFE (#8): Biden calls Obama "Barack America." He does not correct himself.

GOOFFE #9: First Biden calls his wife "drop-dead gorgeous" -- and it works, actually! It's what Al Gore was trying to achieve with the cringe-inducing tongue kiss with Tipper back in '00, but Biden pulls it off. You believe him, and it also reinforces his humanity and his manliness, which latter is actually off the charts in this speech. Seriously. There is some testosterone on this stage! But then he gooffes up (another doozy) by adding "She also has a doctorate degree, which is a problem." What do you mean, Joe? Cringe. Reminds me of Clean-gate.

GOOFFE #10 becomes apparent when we get our first view of the First Four: Barack, Michelle, Joe and Jill. Michelle should not have picked a patterned (tie-dyed?) dress. Michelle and Jill's outfits clash. Note to Michelle: for big photo ops, wear a solid color, plz. Thnx.


FINALLY, as they all leave the stage together, Joe fixes his hair.


After Hillary dropped out, I lost my enthusiasm for this presidential campaign. I went to a few Obama events, but I just couldn't catch Barack fever.

But I'll tell you what. The fire in the belly that these two guys evinced on that stage today actually got me excited again. They seem like they're spoiling to kick some Republican a**!

Here's hoping they do NOT commit GOOFFE #11, the big gooffe in the sky, and the one we cannot forgive: Losing to Old Man McCain.