NFL Week 16 - Holiday Gifts Edition

12/27/2010 01:34 am 01:34:25 | Updated May 25, 2011

Holiday gift ideas for your favorite NFL players, coaches, and owners!

Albert Haynesworth -- a trade to a team that plays a 3-4 defense and has a trainer for the conditioning test.

Donovan McNabb -- a new team with a head coach who's more interested in winning than in demonstrating his authority over his players and embarrassing them.

Jerry Jones -- the good sense to fire himself as the Cowboys' general manager.

DeSean Jackson -- a new choreographer for his touchdown dances.

Andy Reid -- a spot as a contestant on the next season of Dancing With the Stars.

Michael Vick -- a slice of humble pie and a flak jacket.

Tom Couglin -- 11 guys capable of playing special teams.

Eli Manning -- a successful treatment for his apparent color-blindness.

Brett Favre -- a walker and a rotary phone.

Matthew Stafford -- an injury-free season.

Jay Cutler -- an offensive line, improved footwork, and a better backup than Todd Collins.

Aaron Rodgers -- an invitation to Brett Favre's retirement party.

Drew Brees -- a book of baby names.

Matt Ryan -- a better nickname.

Jimmy Clausen - the ability to forget his rookie season.

John Fox -- the ability to forget Jimmy Clausen's rookie season.

Mike Williams and LeGarrette Blount -- the ability to make people forget about their college mistakes.

Sam Bradford -- the ability to make people stop confusing him with Matthew Stafford.

Pete Carroll -- a pep talk that inspires the Seahawks to beat the Rams the final weekend of the season and win the division with a 7-9 record.

Mike Singletary -- a new head coaching job with a quarterback not named Smith.

Ken Whisenhunt -- a new head coaching job with a quarterback.

Rex Ryan -- a foot massage and a pedicure.

Bill Belichick -- a smile.

Tony Sparano -- an offense.

Ralph Wilson -- a victory over New England.

Carson Palmer -- a new contract and a set of receivers who don't have their own reality TV shows.

Jake Delhomme -- a one-way ticket to Obscurityville.

Eric Mangini -- a one-way ticket to a retirement home for NFL coaches, where he'd be forced to share a room with Brad Childress and Rich Kotite.

Ben Roethlisberger -- the good sense to stay home during the off-season.

Ray Lewis -- a new choreographer for his pregame dance (see DeSean Jackson).

Austin Collie -- a concussion-free season.

David Garrard -- a successful treatment for his apparent color-blindness (see Eli Manning).

Vince Young -- a Dale Carnegie course and some anger management classes.

Gary Kubiak- - a new job as Tony Sparano's offensive coordinator.

Norv Turner -- an alarm clock to remind him that the football season starts in September, not in November.

Al Davis -- an invitation to dinner at Lane Kiffin's house.

Matt Cassel -- a job as an advocate for an appendix-free life, and a playoff game against Tom Brady and the Patriots.

Pat Bowlen - a head coach who doesn't alienate and trade away his best players.