Sean Carman has written comedy for the Comedy Central and McSweeney's web sites, and other outlets. His comedy writing has also appeared in several print anthologies, including "Stumbling and Raging: More Politically Inspired Fiction" and "The McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes." He lives in Washington, D.C.

Blog Entries by Sean Carman

Going Rogue: The Sarah Palin Chapter Outline

2 Comments | Posted November 16, 2009 | 08:05 AM (EST)


Tomorrow HarperCollins releases Going Rogue: An American Life, by Sarah Palin. Although the book clocks in at 432 pages, it's actually written in pencil on Big Chief tablet paper. Still, 432 pages is a long time to hear anyone go on and on about themselves. 432 pages of Sarah Palin?...

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Kanye West Interrupts Obama Speech to Investment Bankers

45 Comments | Posted September 14, 2009 | 08:13 PM (EST)


NEW YORK, September 14, 2009 -- Kanye West interrupted President Obama's speech to the New York City investment banking community today, grabbing the microphone just as the President was launching into prepared remarks about the need for regulatory reform of America's financial markets.

"I know we're all gathered here...

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I See Dead People Joe Klein

6 Comments | Posted September 2, 2009 | 12:27 AM (EST)


Something weird has been happening lately. I haven't mentioned it because, well, it's just so strange. But I've decided that announcing it might ease the awkwardness, the embarrassment and, yes, the fear that washes over me each time it occurs.

I don't know how to put it into words,...

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Republicans Announce Plans to Honor Senator Kennedy

21 Comments | Posted August 27, 2009 | 08:35 AM (EST)


The Republican Party announced today that it will honor the legacy of Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy by continuing its campaign to defeat any prospect of health care reform.

"Senator Kennedy was a great humanitarian," said Michael Steele, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, "who worked tirelessly to improve the...

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Breaking! Transcript of 2004 Bush Cabinet Threat-Level Discussion!

5 Comments | Posted August 21, 2009 | 07:01 PM (EST)


One of the fun things about being a columnist for the Huffington Post is that anonymous sources send me hot inside information, totally out of the blue.
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This information comes in "over the transom," as they used to say. For those unfamiliar with the ink-smudged, glory-filled days...

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Why I Oppose the Single-Payer System for Domestic Airport Security

7 Comments | Posted August 16, 2009 | 04:12 PM (EST)


I have news for America.

News for the irate mobs at town hall meetings, for the television journalists looking for the next three-ring circus at which to point their cameras, and for the former governor of Alaska, who lives in a world constructed by her own broken imagination, grows increasingly...

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Facebook Groups That Changed History

Posted March 8, 2009 | 06:34 AM (EST)


1. 1,000 Strong for a Declaration of Independence

2. Tell the Founding Fathers to Write the Constitution Already!

3. Standing with Lincoln on the Slavery Issue

4. Seward is Not a Lunatic! (1 member)

5. Tell Senator McCarthy He Has No Sense of Decency

6. Please Pass the Word about...

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Suddenly, It All Makes Sense

Posted February 5, 2009 | 10:32 AM (EST)


Well, it was a bad week, I guess. Michael Phelps was caught smoking down, and it turns out the Obama transition team wasn't really "vetting" anything. If "vetting" means, you know, "checking to see whether nominees to cabinet posts paid their taxes." That? They weren't checking on that. It makes...

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My Way By George H.W. Bush

Posted January 14, 2009 | 11:03 AM (EST)


And now the end is near
Like that man said about the curtain
I stand alone up here
There's just one thing of which I'm certain

I never gave it all I had
Instead I gave just what I felt like
On any day in...

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The 2009 Inaugur-o-tron Speech Maker

Posted January 7, 2009 | 09:48 AM (EST)


My fellow Americans. At this proud moment, , in this , we .

America is

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Saddledreck

Posted December 24, 2008 | 10:47 AM (EST)


In the wake of Barack Obama's selection of RIck Warren to give the convocation at the Inauguration, America has been asking itself one question: Rick who? The answer invites a raft of new questions, such as, What the Hell? and The Inauguration? He had to invite him to THE INAUGURATION?...

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Good Morning, Beijing

Posted December 21, 2008 | 12:33 PM (EST)


This week China blocked Web access to the New York Times, presumably to keep its citizens from reading news from the United States. As an occasional columnist for a comedy news website, my responsibility is clear. If there's one place no one ever looks for real news, it's 23/6,...

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How (Not) to Sell Your Senate Seat

Posted December 12, 2008 | 09:37 AM (EST)


Congratulations! You're the governor of a state in which a U.S. Senator has died in office or been elected President. You know what that means! That's right, it's payday, baby! Your long slog in the trenches of state politics are about to pay off, thank God, as you can trade...

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Goodnight Alan

Posted November 25, 2008 | 11:02 AM (EST)


Alan Colmes announced this week that he will leave the Hannity & Colmes show, where for 12 years he has served as a white Tanto co-host for Sean Hannity. So what better time to look back at some of Alan Colmes' best moments on the most fair and balanced political...

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And...I'm Outta Here!

Posted November 17, 2008 | 10:32 AM (EST)


The Obama administration is going to be so cool. These people think of everything. The other day I discovered that the transition has its own Website, even its own blog. Obama understands our generation's compulsive need to record every experience for posterity, in journalistic style, as if the...

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What to Look for in Tonight's Obama Special

Posted October 29, 2008 | 04:50 PM (EST)


Barack Obama speaks to the nation tonight in a half-hour television spot airing just before the World Series. Obama's problem? We are all completely sick of the presidential campaign. What was once a spirited exercise in democracy has become the collective trauma of unending mental pain. I've had to read...

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The Sarah Palin Diaries

Posted October 25, 2008 | 01:41 PM (EST)


Dear Diary,

So I'm just gonna write stuff down. Just whatever I think. Anything you know.

So far I have 14 words. 20! Ha!

Mainly, though, about bein' on the presidential campaign. Which is a blessing that happened to me, just out of the blue. Like I was made Queen,...

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Are You Now or Have You Ever Been...an Acorn?

Posted October 18, 2008 | 06:58 PM (EST)


Did anyone get the feeling that, despite turning in the better performance, Obama lost ground in the last debate? What accounts for this feeling?

Perhaps it's that I rely on acupuncture to control my anxiety, rather than the large-animal tranquilizers my physician recommends. (But if I went with the tranquilizer,...

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McCain's Last Hope

Posted October 14, 2008 | 09:02 AM (EST)


The past week has revealed John McCain's campaign to be a complete and utter political disaster. McCain is Krakatoa. His campaign is the Titanic. Imagine an Indonesian volcano bellowing fire and smoke as it rams an iceberg and sinks without a trace, and you've got the McCain campaign. The tiny...

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President Palin's Inaugural Address

Posted October 10, 2008 | 10:14 AM (EST)


Gosh hi! Oh my, hey! I see lots of you out there!

Hello America and welcome to my inaug . . . inau . . . gosh darn it.

First presidential address! Couldn't see that but I'm OK now, thanks.

It's just so amazin'! Bein' a hockey mom, you know....

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