In the year 2012
The much assailed electorate
Decided that it wanted
A charlatan for president.
Grown weary and suspicious of
The man who dreamed and dared,
It threw its weight instead behind
A man of craven cares.
A man who studied history
Yet didn't know a thing
Who deep down in his heart of hearts
Wanted to be king.
Who'd have guessed America
Would go for such a thing?
And in the person of a righteous fraud
Who'd worn three wedding rings?
A speaker who, when last in power,
Was forced to resign in disgrace.
And though he rails against the Capital
Can't seem to leave the place.
And what is his grand idea?
As far I can tell, it's to take
A troubled but still prosperous land
And make of it a kind of Hell.
To pry the crevice between rich and poor
Into a yawning chasm
Ruled over by a petty tyrant's
Arbitrary fits and spasms
With every resource sacrificed
To feed the corporate maw
And judges sent to prison
If they dared enforce the law
Meanwhile this so-called "futurist"
Would abolish EPA
And when the earth became a wasteland
Forsake it for a lunar colony
Lunacy's the word all right
For the success of such a clown --
This tottering human weeble
With painted smirk and tarnished crown
'Twould be an empire's last avenging act
Of self-destruction and despair.
To elect this roly-poly miscreant
With darting eyes and blow-dried hair.
My country, o my country!
Hang your head in shame
Your future leader bears a tinfoil heart
And a lizard's name.
The Morning Email helps you start your workday with everything you need to know: breaking news, entertainment and a dash of fun. Learn more