Saddledreck

In the wake of Barack Obama's selection of RIck Warren to give the convocation at the Inauguration, America has been asking itself one question: Rick who? The answer invites a raft of new questions, such as, What the Hell? and The Inauguration? He had to invite him to THE INAUGURATION? To give THE KEYNOTE ADDRESS?

These are good questions. I have been asking these questions, but I have also been uttering a secret prayer: "Please God, let him wear a Hawaiian shirt." That would be perfect, because nothing minimizes your role in a historic event like the decision to wear a Hawaiian shirt. Not many people remember that Lincoln's Gettysburg Address followed a much longer speech by Edward Everett, and that history might have remembered Everett's windy two-hour platitude-fest as the better oratory had the former Secretary of State not decided to forgo a black coat and tails in favor of a polyester short-sleeve festooned with poinsettias and yellow parrots.

Of course, a lot of people in California already knew Rick Warren as the Christian evangelical preacher who endorsed Proposition 8. You remember Proposition 8. It was put on the California ballot because certain people could not tolerate a well-reasoned state Supreme Court decision recognizing the fundamental right of men and women to fall in love with whoever they want. "Hey, do unto others and all that, but when certain people fall in love, that's where I draw the line." As a result of Prop 8, millions of Californians were denied a basic human right by a narrow majority vote.

So, yeah! Let's put a guy who helped make THAT happen on the national stage. Good move.

Obama's choice is puzzling. Warren is sort of the Sarah Palin of the Obama Administration -- a seemingly rushed choice, made on superficial grounds to appeal to an extreme demographic, with no thought to the fairly obvious, larger, and unfortunate implications. The selection is similarly disturbing because it suggests Obama's judgment may not be as keen as we thought. I mean, I'm sure Rick Warren is a nice guy, and that he'll smile and deliver a lot of inclusive-sounding homilies, but Jesus, just invite the guy over to the White House for brunch or something. Have a photo op with him in the Rose Garden. The right-wing-crazy demographic has little to do but watch soap operas and Pat Robertson all day; they'll see the coverage on Fox or CNN.

Personally, I think we're just lucky Obama didn't pick Warren as his running mate. That so easily could have happened. Think about it: Obama says he chose Warren as his convocation speaker because they are friends, and it helps him to engage Warren in discussions on the issues -- the same reasons he gave for choosing Joe Biden. Only now, in hindsight, do we see what a bullet we dodged when Biden got the job.

Obama selecting Rick Warren as his VP -- that would have been weird, huh? It would have added a creepy symmetry to the election, which would have made it more interesting, even if in a slightly terrifying way. It also would have strangely vindicated Ralph Nader's claim about the homogeneity of the two parties, all these years after he indirectly wrecked the republic by ensuring George Bush's victory over Al Gore.

I guess the take-away from the Rick Warren selection is this: No matter how disturbing you find it, on Inauguration Day, to see a smiling, doughy man with a Wolfman Jack goatee announcing from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial that Christ has risen anew to bless America by electing Barack Obama, just keep telling yourself: As bad as this is, at least this man is not our vice-president.

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