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Seriously Skewed
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Political satire that dares to go where no sane person has gone before! Follow Seriously Skewed at @seriouslyskewed

Entries by Seriously Skewed

Top 10 Reasons McDonalds is in Deep Trouble

(0) Comments | Posted October 21, 2014 | 3:13 PM

McDonalds, that fast food giant that specializes in giving us both sensory ecstasy and heartburn at the same time, just announced that its earnings plummeted by 30% this last quarter! I thought the golden arches were supreme, so what gives?

Here are the Top 10 reasons why McDonalds...

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Why Kim Jong Un is still missing

(1) Comments | Posted October 10, 2014 | 9:49 AM

Let's be honest. We all like to vanish from time to time. It all becomes too much to bear: the constant phone calls, stupid texts, demanding emails, crazy girlfriends, annoying family members. We call it taking time to ourselves.

It's a little more unusual, of course, for the leader...

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What a Bollywood Movie Would Be Like on Mars

(1) Comments | Posted September 30, 2014 | 2:31 PM

Now that India has accomplished the amazing feat of getting a space vehicle into orbit around Mars ahead of China and Japan and for much less money than what Hollywood spent on making Gravity, it's only a matter of time before Bollywood produces its own space saga but at a...

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Dick Cheney Blames Abraham Lincoln, Mother Teresa, and Kim Kardashian for the Rise of ISIS

(0) Comments | Posted September 26, 2014 | 1:29 PM

Now that the U.S. has begun airstrikes against the terrorist group ISIS in Iraq and Syria, former Vice President Dick Cheney is really angry that the group was allowed to rise in the first place. But while most of his fury has been directed at President Obama, he's...

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Top 10 Reasons Investment Firm ISIS Equity Is Changing Its Name

(1) Comments | Posted September 23, 2014 | 9:48 AM

A London based private equity firm with the regrettable name ISIS Equity is changing its name to -- well, anything else... I don't blame them. Life has been pretty tough for the ISIS guys lately and I think there are many reasons why the firm's management came to...

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In Stunning Twist, England Leaves United Kingdom Instead of Scotland!

(2) Comments | Posted September 16, 2014 | 2:44 PM

In what is sure to take up at least a whole chapter in the history books, Prime Minister David Cameron delivered the stunning news that England is leaving the United Kingdom in order to pacify Scotland and that the latter will continue to stay in the union. Queen Elizabeth II...

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Why India and Pakistan Are Always Fighting -- Explained

(44) Comments | Posted September 12, 2014 | 5:13 PM

Israel and Palestine. India and Pakistan. Romeo and Juliet. What do all these have in common? They belong together but for some reason remain doomed to never connect.

India and Pakistan in particular, having been born out of one land, have many similarities in culture, cuisine, and sports. Why then...

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ISIS Launches Canada Unit in Latest Tax Inversion Deal

(0) Comments | Posted September 9, 2014 | 5:16 PM

September X, 2014 -- Now that American icon Burger King has agreed to merge with Canadian coffee chain Tim Hortons in a blatant "screw you" to the U.S. Treasury, the trend of moving abroad to save on taxes seems to be catching on. The latest party to take advantage of...

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Here Is Really Why Airlines Are Shrinking Your Leg Room

(1) Comments | Posted September 5, 2014 | 11:10 AM

In the past couple of weeks, no less than three physical fights have broken out between passengers on commercial planes over the right to recline their seats. All three flights had to be diverted to alternate airports in response.

However, given that the average leg room on most...

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Welcome to the Era of 'No Strategy' Government

(0) Comments | Posted August 29, 2014 | 2:20 PM

LETTER FROM THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO ITS CITIZENS

We have no strategy. None.

I know you guys want us to do something about Ukraine, ISIS, immigration, the budget, and many other things but really, we don't have any idea what to do about any of it.

Now you may be...

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This Is How Wars Begin

(1) Comments | Posted August 26, 2014 | 12:13 PM

The best science fiction, they say, mirrors our current reality and makes a powerful statement about our values today by projecting us into a distant future. This is exactly that type of profound article. In other words, it may be about aliens but it's really about the Middle East, Ukraine,...

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I, Robot... Will Kill You?

(0) Comments | Posted August 19, 2014 | 11:24 AM

In the most disturbing piece of news to hit humanity since the return of the Twinkie, it seems that engineers in the U.S. have built 1,000 robot soldiers that can form a military style formation on command. Well, all right, they are not soldiers and apparently they are...

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Canada Launches Cold War with Russia in the Arctic

(0) Comments | Posted August 12, 2014 | 5:56 PM

O Canada!

There seems to be a new Cold War brewing and it's not between the U.S. and Russia, but between Canada and Russia. The contentious issue is the North Pole, or more specifically, the seabed under the Arctic. Canada wants to extend its continental shelf to include that seabed...

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Why We Should Replace the U.S. Congress With Baboons

(1) Comments | Posted August 6, 2014 | 1:55 PM



MEMO TO CONGRESS FROM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE

Get out.

No, seriously, get the f*@k out before we have security escort you out. Your security credentials have been revoked and your emails will be deactivated within the hour. If you feel this is too harsh, take it up with your...

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Top 10 Reasons the Republicans Want to Sue Obama

(1) Comments | Posted July 31, 2014 | 1:11 PM

Just when you think it's safe to read the political news again, the Republicans do something else to make you cringe.

Their latest brainwave -- suing the president of the United States to enforce the Affordable Care Act (which they want to repeal) just to be mean -- is...

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Why DC Comics Should Replace Wonder Woman With a Man

(30) Comments | Posted July 18, 2014 | 3:05 PM

In the wake of Marvel Comics' recent announcements that an African American character will take over the mantle of iconic Captain America (after the regular guy loses his super powers in battle with an arch foe), and that a woman will be Thor in future comics, I think...

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If the Koch Brothers Were President...

(29) Comments | Posted April 21, 2014 | 12:59 PM

I don't know about you but I'm pretty tired of all the media ink devoted to the Koch brothers. They are either libertarian heroes standing for freedom from big government or ultra-conservative jerks trying to buy our democracy. But whatever you believe, America spends way too much time worrying about...

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Top 8 Reasons Starbucks Doesn't Want Guns in its Stores

(9) Comments | Posted September 25, 2013 | 1:48 PM

This may seem like a satire on Starbucks but it's really meant to make fun of gun nuts. I admire Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz for taking a stand against guns in stores. If you are so paranoid that you need to take a gun to go get coffee, you probably...

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There's Something About Larry (Summers)

(0) Comments | Posted August 1, 2013 | 4:51 PM

Little about Washington surprises me, but one thing I could not figure out is why President Obama wants Larry Summers as Fed Chair when Summers is the worst possible candidate for the job, except maybe for Alan Greenspan? Well, we now have an answer.

The following conversation was leaked by...

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Top 8 Reasons Anthony Weiner Can't Be Mayor

(1) Comments | Posted July 24, 2013 | 3:54 PM

Is Anthony Weiner just a victim of really bad timing or does the man never learn? We don't know for sure but one thing is for certain: the odds of him becoming Mayor of New York City are pretty low right now. I'm not taking sides, just telling it like...

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