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Serita Jakes

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Some Hurts Are More Than Skin Deep

Posted: 09/06/11 05:30 PM ET

There are some traumas we experience in life that don't require an ambulance, an operating room, or a specialty surgeon. We experience traumas that most can't even see from the outside looking in, silent issues that haunt us every day. It's easy to tell someone to "cast their cares on Jesus" or "He'll never put more on you than you can bear" but those proverbs are often silenced over the sound of trouble. Almost everyone knows the phrase, "What goes on in this house, stays in this house!" and so we learned that regardless of how you feel, you should never alert anyone that you're hurting.

When we relocated to Dallas, TX and opened our church, The Potter's House, it was our mission to show people the power of God through healing. Sunday after Sunday, our church filled with broken people opening their lives and hearts to the amazing power of God, searching for help. Above all, people wanted to know how they could move on from the traumas of life. Our parishioners wanted to know how they could begin healing.

"But He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised, for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

Most people focus on the "we are healed" part of this scripture and miss the beauty of the text, your healing has already been bought! Your life, your heart, your future means so much that He shed his own blood to see you overcome. The first thing you have to do is change your mindset. You can no longer focus on the trauma that halted you, but look at the future you have left to live.

Even if you can't stop the pain or run from the memories, start telling yourself, I am healed. Tell yourself you're healed, even when you're sick. Use your faith to beat the thing, that's beating you! We know that faith without works is dead. It's not enough to want to be healed; you have to start speaking to those broken pieces inside of you. Use that same voice that tells you, "You can't move on" to start pushing towards greatness. The first step in overcoming is deciding it's time for change.

Once you move your mind, you have to get active. The road ahead of you may seem hard and at times it may seem like it's not worth it; but there is another, joy-filled, pain-free, YOU standing at the end of this journey, waiting for your embrace. We often shy away from things that may help us because of what other people may think. You cannot continue to be tormented on the inside, so that you look perfect on the outside. Whether the trauma you are facing has left physical or emotional residue, you have to begin to face those issues straight on.

If you are tormented by memories of the past, seek a Christian counselor in your community and let them know that you need help. Experiencing pain from an accident? Then, it's time to call your doctor. Whatever your issue may be, you have to begin to align yourself with people who can help you. If you do not open your mouth and cry out for help, things cannot get better. God has only given us one life to live and it is our responsibility to take care of ourselves.

Jesus said in John 10:10 "I come that that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." He knew that there would be some who may not take advantage of the opportunity to have life and have it more abundantly but the mere possibility of you living your life to the fullest was enough for Him to shed His blood. God believes in you, its time for you to start believing in yourself.

Do not allow the whispers on the outside, to pick at the trauma you've had and give you an infection. Guard yourself from those who aren't helping you to overcome. If you have to be by yourself, do it. You'd rather be alone while you go through this than risk an infection. You have to remove any obstacle in your life making it hard for you to live the life you were predestined to live. It's time for you to prosper, time for you to stop allowing this trauma to control your future. "Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth." 3 John 1:2

During my studies, I learned that flesh wounds heal from the inside out. Have you ever had a wound that still looked fresh from the outside but it started itching, and you knew that, that was a sign it was healing? Your life may look like its broken from the outside, others may look at it and wonder what happened, what went wrong. But you feel something that they don't, you feel that itch down on the inside, telling you your healing is on the way.

Serita Jakes has been involved in Christian ministry all of her adult life and has served alongside her husband, Bishop T.D. Jakes, throughout their entire marriage of nearly 30 years. In addition to raising three sons and two daughters, she is executive director of the WoMan-To-Woman Ministries of The Potters House of Dallas. Serita Jakes is the author of "The Princess Within: Restoring the Soul of a Woman" (2002); "Beside Every Good Man: Loving Myself While Standing by Him" (2004); and the newly released novel, "The Crossing" (2011).

 
 
 
There are some traumas we experience in life that don't require an ambulance, an operating room, or a specialty surgeon. We experience traumas that most can't even see from the outside looking in, si...
There are some traumas we experience in life that don't require an ambulance, an operating room, or a specialty surgeon. We experience traumas that most can't even see from the outside looking in, si...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gemmax
07:34 PM on 09/10/2011
A meaningful article and basically the same theme that I have been thinking about and writing about for a couple of weeks. I believe that it is the truth that heals. For much too long in families and relationships and societies, the truth has been covered up for the sake of keeping the peace or what others might think, etc. When we make a conscious decision and with prayer,humility and sincerity just tell the truth and ask the hard questions within our families, we will find peace. And we will be freed from the pain of the past that otherwise will haunt us all of our lives. The truth will set us free.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Cindbird
03:03 PM on 09/10/2011
I am Buddhist. My entire life, I had trouble asking for help. My Grandpa used to say I'd drown 50 feet from shore looking to the life guard, because I couldn't open my mouth to call for help. 9 years ago, I was placed in a position where I had no choice but to ask for help. I developed systemic lupus. I learned very quickly that if I didn't ask for help, I couldn't get through my day. Now the lupus had devolved into Mixed Connective Tissue Disease. It is lupus with symptoms of scleroderma and polymyositis. So now, I get joint pain and organ involvement, but with the added skin tightening of scleroderma and the muscle weakness of polymyositis. I had to learn to ask for help, so I would not suffer as much. It's not easy to ask. But the only way to reduce our suffering is to allow the connectedness of assistance to come into our lives. May we all find the love that can accept the loving assistance of others.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gemmax
07:46 PM on 09/10/2011
I am so sorry that you have these illnesses. I am very familiar with a combination of autoimmune illnesses as well. It is times like these when we must turn to our faith and to others for help. We, in turn, offer those others the opportunity to serve another. That is the reality of life and brings out the finest in all of us. There is always a way to serve and to be served. Thank you for your post.
12:01 AM on 09/10/2011
Glory to Jesus
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Grada3784
God is a Parent, not an abuser.
09:47 AM on 09/08/2011
Thanks, bit I've been beaten up by faith quite enough already.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lrobb
Southern Rational
11:36 AM on 09/07/2011
As a Atheist, I sincerely applaud this ministry. What they are doing is called, in the secular world, "the power of positive thinking." If it takes a religious bridge to "get over it", and The Potter's House has documented positive outcomes, that is where we should be sending out contributions whatever our faith or lack thereof.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fgbouman
Curmudgeon & Designer
10:38 AM on 09/07/2011
How silly can you get? You may as well put your trust in Kermit or the Cookie Monster. When will these people stop sponging off the gullible?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
dschiff
Always learning
11:46 AM on 09/07/2011
You have to admit it works as a kind of therapy. Some people can't afford psychologists.. So churches are almost therapy en masse.

Of course, you could substitute any gods or religious stories with the same result, as the effects of religious indoctrination will cause experiences that give people psychological comfort.

The question is, is it ethical to give people false hopes, like an afterlife? Is this therapy, or is it control?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lrobb
Southern Rational
11:58 AM on 09/07/2011
Trust me, it is therapy. I am an Atheist who loves dogs. My beloved companions who are no longer with me are buried in my garden. In the farthest reaches of my intellect, where emotion tends to overcome reason, I would love to believe in a "Rainbow Bridge" where we would all be together again.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lrobb
Southern Rational
11:53 AM on 09/07/2011
My mother, an Atheist as am I, once said God had to be invented for people to tolerate the mental pain of human existence. No one questions the need to alleviate physical pain. You take a pill, and no one thinks this is a bad thing. Of course, there is a scientific explanation.

When people are in emotional crisis they are far more likely to do something self-destructive. If they believe in a higher power, it can help alleviate the mental pain. When things go horribly wrong, if we had a happy childhood we would rather be back where Mom and Dad made sure we never had to handle anything beyond our ability to cope. Faith in a diety creates the same effect for many.

Don't dismiss it out of hand.
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ProofRequired
Taking back the human race, one believer at a time
10:27 AM on 09/07/2011
Nobody has been able to explain why I should turn to God to help with an affliction which could only have come from Him. I cannot be thankful to God for the passage of time making the loss of my friends on 9/11 more bearable. I can't help but ask where the biblical-like miracle was on that fateful day. What an amazing opportunity to show His "amazing power" by cutting off the power of just 4 airplanes midflight. We have not seen anything close to a legitimate miracle since the days of the parting of the Red Sea. That fact alone should wake us up to the fact that we are alone, dependent on each other, with only compassion and brains to make our way.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bill J4321
03:25 PM on 09/07/2011
Yes!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rogo99
Has the world changed, or have I changed?
03:33 PM on 09/11/2011
To me, using divine wrath or divine providence to explain any occurence means the person has given up.
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Indigo1941
Time Traveler
09:42 AM on 09/07/2011
Or as scam artists put it, "The check is in the mail!"
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Redhunteur
If I damn yer POV will u turn the other cheek?
04:11 AM on 09/07/2011
And when religion causes said hurting... then who does one turn to? "Real" christians?

"God doesn't give us more than we can bear," and "life is pre-determined/known by god in advance," yet suicides exist. Interesting.
01:53 PM on 09/07/2011
Being known by caused, doesn't rule out agency. God can have the best planned for us but we can always choose to walk away.
And when religion causes the hurting you turned to God himself. There is a difference between automatic "Christian" reactions and what God and the Bible actually say. Part of the faith journey is learning to bring those issues to God and battle them out with him rather than other broken human beings. Being a Christian doesn't mean our capacity to make bad choices or hurt others disappears. Teh difference is religion uses God as an excuse to justify a person's own opinion or actions. Faith turns to God to check ourselves before claiming our opinions as right. And even then we get caught in the justification we so much because really who wants to be wrong. Not saying that's an excuse for any hurt done but religion. I've been there have have been hurt from the so called Christian church. But the church is made of of broken messed up people too.
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BurtonDesque
Fear a Blank Planet
02:45 AM on 09/07/2011
Few things cause more hurt than religion does.
02:07 AM on 09/07/2011
Your advice--to look to the future, decide it's time to change, face your issues, guard yourself from those who aren't helping you to overcome--is very good advice. We all know that healing comes from within (sometimes with a little help from a professional or a friend). It doesn't call for a supreme being.
11:28 PM on 09/06/2011
Thank you for writing this article! Just what I needed to see tonight
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Dosadi
Political agnostic
10:48 PM on 09/06/2011
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men†Frederick Douglas
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methodman
09:41 PM on 09/06/2011
I think however education as a plan needs to be separated. Circumspection and Educational Inspection are different ideas. There is such a thing as an inspection level that if written out does not share vary many similar symbols and the education requirements develop upon different evolutions. Add the Computation layer which as thought up into pages stirs educational dreams. None of this stuff most of Religious Life Cycles would be considered Anti Reliigon. todayProgressive Education is the NEW Heathenism while entrenched Faith without Facts is Enshrined, Emboldened and confetti ed with Contempt Filled Bible Verses. Is it any wonder why we excommunicate ourselves when we go to College?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
thegodlessgeneration
better to embrace hard truth than reassuring fable
09:18 PM on 09/06/2011
I'm confused as to how someone can dismiss the quotes "cast your cares to Jesus" or "He'll never give you more than you can bear" when things get REALLY bad; but it's perfectly OK to use those same quotes any other time - when the burden isn't too bad. How can people cling to these quotes in one set of circumstances and dismiss them in others? That would mean that it's not true; it's basically just a convenient quote to have in your back pocket.

Christian counselors are not always better than non-Christian counselors. Don't you think it's entirely possible to find a bad Christian counselor? Choosing physicians based on faith doesn't always ensure the best medical care, so I'd be careful suggesting Christian healthcare as a 'go-to' method. If God is truly in control, it doesn't matter what faith the health practitioner belongs to.

In terms of Jesus shedding his blood, Jesus suffered personal trauma when His father sent him to the earth for the sole purpose of dying. In this case, I can see how Jesus can relate. After all, you said yourself that it's all about living a pre-destined life. Jesus knew his pre-destined life, it wasn't a surprise. But for the rest of us, I don't understand how people can get better by focusing on the pre-destined life they're meant to live. How does that work? What if someone's life is pre-destined to be painful with a lot of suffering?