I must be losing it. I'm finding myself near-obsessed with the Michael Jackson story and all its bizarro, sordid and sensationalistic details. From Larry King's nightly hour-long expert-testimony-filled JackoFests to Matt Lauer's morning Today Show tours through Neverland, I've become like a jammie-clad high school girl catatonically-captivated by The Hills. The only thing missing is the incessant texting to my pals to gab about it all.

Let's face it, if you're into train wrecks, it...