I was just sitting around, thinking about last week's bombings.

Multi-tasking, I was: sitting AND thinking.

And I started to ask myself how we could explain such horrible events so, you know, none of us look stupid at parties?

Even more important, how can my explanation about these acts help me pick up girls?

Then I read the Huffington Post, and I realized that, unlike Eve Ensler, Deepak Chopra, Jann Wenner and Hooman Majd, I have...