Since I'm the guy largely responsible for giving you a reputation as being very smart, then it seems appropriate that I also deliver the news that, as it turns out, you aren't too bright. Actually, I think you may be downright dumb. Yes, I know you can spout statistics and theoretical analytics and you have a grand and glorious memory. But you know what, pal, you just ain't packin' the gear we all thought you carried.

I concede that you...