Say say say / What you want / But don't play games / With my surveillance

WASHINGTON - The United States has begun a massive effort to find something positive to say about Dick Cheney, the first vice president it has become impossible to talk about without swearing since Aaron Burr.

"It's not easy finding something pleasant to say about this douche bag, I mean, V.P.," said one official, "although if it IS there to be found,...