Hey, all you sewer-clogging, turtle-choking, shrub-smothering plastic bags, go jump in a lake! Or an ocean -- where you can be reunited with the rest of your baggy brethren in that swirling vortex of cast-off plastic we call The Great Pacific Garbage Patch. We're just not that into putting things into you, anymore.
Now, if we could only stigmatize your rigid, landfill-lovin' cousin, the plastic water bottle. Because whereas you, my crinkly...]]>