I am very, very sorry that you are not Liza Minnelli. For one thing, whatever her failings, Liza knows how to avoid the scenery when moving about the stage, probably from attending rehearsals. Also, I had no idea that you had "Feelings."

I am so, so sorry that I made only one small joke in my Tony Awards Show review about your attacking that innocent piece of scenery, instead of mocking you at the same kind of length...