Ask anyone who knows me - my friends, in particular - they'll tell you. I just absolutely, 100%, love and adore glasses. They're my Achilles heel, if you will.

Take a perfectly average-looking guy -- hey, make it below average -- and if I can see a sultry glare on his glossy lenses, put a fork in me, because I'm done. I just love me some myopia.

And I'll tell you why. I think that there's something...