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George W. Bush's Magical Closet of Democracy


Most of the time, George W. Bush displays a merely middling level of breathtaking stupidity. Roughly the level of those who need Rush to tell them how to vote or Ann to tell them who they hate. But once in a while, as he did today in the Knesset, he can delight us with truly revolutionary ignorance.

There he was, the cowboy whose hat is too big for his tiny head, pretending to be a "friend" to the Jews. Excoriating those who would dare to negotiate with the enemies of Israel and the United States -- as if silence was a magical shield that only happy thoughts could penetrate.

As if anyone has a better idea.

He compared these dastardly negotiators to those who "appeased" Hitler in the 1930's -- men like his own grandfather, Prescott -- who bankrolled the Nazis before the government stepped in and shut him down.

He claimed that the policy of sitting down and talking with one's enemies had been proven ineffective by history, apparently unaware that two of his Republican predecessors, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan, had done just that with excellent results. He also insinuated that Barack Obama would negotiate with Hamas (for the record, he wouldn't -- unless they officially recognized Israel and ceased hostilities).

Like a child who believes that the monster can't hurt him as long as the closet door is closed, Mr. Bush seems to believe that Iran, North Korea, and Cuba will spontaneously decide to become pro-American Democracies if we just ignore them long enough. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Revised Bush Doctrine: firmly bury your head under the pillow, repeat "I believe in unicorns" over and over, and wait for the problem to fix itself.

For someone who likes to project a macho, rancher/fighter pilot image -- who likes to rattle his saber and call his enemies all sorts of names -- he sure seems afraid of seeing these leaders face to face, doesn't he? Maybe we have it all wrong -- maybe George W. Bush isn't dim-witted. Maybe he's just a pussy.

If I had to guess, I'd say that history will remember him the same way it remembers (or more accurately, doesn't remember) President James Buchanan -- as a corrupt, ineffectual man who was woefully unequal to the job. A man who did nothing while deep divides began to tear the fabric of our Union apart.

Lucky for us (and Democracy, and the world), the man who succeeded Buchanan was radically different. He believed in reaching out to his enemies. In listening to the grievances of those who disagreed with -- even hated him. That man was a relatively inexperienced lawyer from Illinois. He became our greatest president, and the savior of our nation.

They say history repeats itself.

Here's hoping.

Most of the time, George W. Bush displays a merely middling level of breathtaking stupidity. Roughly the level of those who need Rush to tell them how to vote or Ann to tell them who they hate. But ...
Most of the time, George W. Bush displays a merely middling level of breathtaking stupidity. Roughly the level of those who need Rush to tell them how to vote or Ann to tell them who they hate. But ...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Venise Alstergren
Atheist; photographer, animal lover; articulate.
07:31 AM on 05/18/2008
If I was Jewish I would be outraged by this honky-tonk, beating about the Bush President."Likkud Democrat indeed". How bloody patronizing.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Turtleluv6
11:43 AM on 05/16/2008
Well DONE!!
08:46 AM on 05/16/2008
Great article Seth! Very droll.

I just heard Jonathan Alter say that Sec. of Def. Bob Gates and Condi Rice are already having discussions with Iran. I knew they were both advocating a diplomatic tack. Truly, what a maroon Bush is.

I read between the lines in the Thurs morning article about Bush's Knesset speech: I believe the Israelis warned Bush to avoid discussing the current Israeli-Palestinian negotiations! He's so incompetent, likely they knew he'd screw that up as well.
07:27 AM on 05/16/2008
obama's skin just gets thinner with each passing day...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Turtleluv6
02:05 AM on 05/17/2008
And your brain gets smaller and smaller
09:19 PM on 05/15/2008
Seth... you are speaking about CheneyOilCo's monkeypuppet. What exactly did you expect? Have you learned nothing?
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
23000Days
Life: Tragedy for feelers, Comedy for thinkers.
08:47 PM on 05/15/2008
Accepting that bush is a babbling idiot is one thing; allowing it to continue is completely beyond my personal view of this country. I'm so pissed that I feel the congress shuld itself be impeached!
07:10 PM on 05/15/2008
Amen!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
blaqntelligence
09:20 PM on 05/15/2008
And again, Amen!