Hilt-Owned -- Paris Responds to McCain's Ad

Love her or hate her, you've gotta hand it to Paris Hilton...

She just made John McCain her bitch.

In less than two minutes, she accomplished not one -- but FIVE things McCain himself has been unable to do in two years of campaigning:

1) Come off as intelligent and self-effacing.

2) Present a well-reasoned energy policy.

3) Generate excitement on the internet.

4) Win over a new block of supporters.

5) Say the word "Hilton" without the preface "Hanoi."

Yeah, I know -- it's just a funny little video. But no matter what the flacks say, I promise you they aren't laughing over at Camp McCain. Because as you read this, that funny little video is spreading faster than a case of Cancun herpes...and it's only Tuesday.

Team McCain can expect to be thrown off message (assuming they have one beyond "Yay, motorcycles! Yay, race cars!") tomorrow as the MSM picks this up and plays it to death. They know their candidate will be asked to respond, and that he has no choice but pretend he finds the whole thing amusing, or paraphrase Tucker Bound's envious, childish response: "Paris Hilton might not be as big a celebrity as Barack Obama, but she obviously has a better energy plan."

Either way, he looks ridiculous, because he's engaging in a dialogue with...Paris Hilton. Expect the "celebrity" backlash to continue all week (the last before we tune out and watch the Olympics).

Who knows? Maybe the media will also remember that for all his "celebrity" talk, John McCain's the guy who made cameos in movies like Wedding Crashers and TV shows like 24 -- and whose daughter, Meghan, is like, totally bff's with Heidi Montag from The Hills. (But let's face it...they probably won't).

Here's to you, Paris. You may be famous, but unlike some people -- you aren't ashamed to admit it.

And that's hot.

Seth Grahame-Smith is the author of Pardon My President: Ready-to-Mail Apologies for 8 Years of George W. Bush.

Comments

[hipocampelofantocame]

How about Paris for VP?

[gevan]

Wait 'til she's thirty-five years old, please.

[kkurman]

Great point made, that as the McCain camp, or even better, McCain himself, responds to her statement they will be in a dialog with Paris, (about as close as they will come to good foreign policy!) who has been branded by them as vacuous. We all know that the 'dumb blond' persona is a product she is very good at marketing, better in fact than the 'I'm just like you' persona McCain is using to try and become the leader of the free world. If the McCain camp can't (or couldn't) see this coming we will be in REAL trouble if he were to become President. Barack and Paris are both presenting nuanced Energy perspectives. OK, off-shore drilling may not give us all the oil we're getting from OPEC, but if we enforce rigorous conservation and develop other renewable sources, in ten years it MAY be enough to provide for the balance of our oil needs. Which leads to the unspoken question on NOBODY'S lips....pe­trochemica­ls?

[mindtrvlr]

PARIS , YOU WERE GREAT. I'LL VOTE FOR YOU, AND I AM 65 YEAR OLD MALE REPUBLICAN. THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD BE WORSE THAN THE TWO WE HAVE TO VOTE FOR. IN FACT YOU ARE HANDS DOWN THE SMARTEST CANDIDATE WE HAVE HAD SINCE JOHN KENNEDY. PLEASE RUN.

http://www.paris4prez.com/

[SherryIndianapolis]

Never thought about her one way or the other, but this was on point and tight! Good for her!

[ofbbg]

The part I really like is that her plan is far better than B. Husseins!

[chelliza]

Her plan IS Obama's. By the way, I don't know if it is just bigotry that gets you to use Obama's middle name but King Hussein of Jordan has always been a friend to the US . I'm sure however, that you ment it in only the most favorable way.

[bdaved]

I'm not so sure about that, but I think it might make more sense than J. Sidney's

[Jamchinadian]

The jokes on you - it is his plan. Because he works on consensus not confrontation, he agreed to allow offshore drilling IF enviromental safeguards are in place AND IF his comprehensive long-term progarm for energy independence is included.

[DCMata]

Paris combined both candidate's plans to arrive at the one on the video!
What I liked about the video

McCain- an old celeb- who is an old, old, old, wrinkled dude

Obama- the guy who wants change

Paris- is hot

Excellent comparison. Paris and McCain are both millionaires- Obama is not.

[AlligatorShuz]

No Paris Hilton Family is worth Billions

[kkurman]

Your awareness of the critical issues of our time is stunning!
How do you feed? We may find your methods just as enlightening.

[jesdakota]

Wow! I'm crying.

[arebrown]

Is she the one that MADE A PORNO MOVIE

or is she the one that HAS NO IDEA HOW TO PUT GAS ?
.


YEAH !!! HOW EVER THE MEDIA IS SO EXCITED because she lift the MEDIA POOR RAITINGS ...or I'm wrong ?

.

[plooger]

> Present a well-reasoned energy policy.

Really? Off-shore drilling will "fill the gap until the new technologies kick in"? The new technologies may be in full swing before we realize any minimal benefit from off-shore drilling. Fill your tires and get a tune-up, Paris. For your car.

Funny video, but went too long and diluted the goodness. Must have been directed by someone from SNL.

[sumac3]

Way to go. Don't care who wrote it for her, it was clever, it was fast and Paris Hilton pulled it off. And, thankfully, it invokes the old "Look there! A chicken!" response. For a few days at least, she's the topic of conversation and not Obama. Or his thinness. Or his teeth. Or his good posture...­.

[Openeyes]

I'm not a fan of hers, but, like, OMG, that was great!

And she does have a better energy policy than McCain.

I'm reminded of "Legally Blond" where Reese Witherspoon submitted a video (complete with a jacuzzi scene) for her admission to Harvard Law School.

[UnknownSoldier]

It is not her energy plan, its 0*Bama's

[AnotherToerag]

Agreed, that was great - but her energy plan stinks. Offshore drilling to fill in until alternatives? We won't see benefits of drilling offshore until well after alternatives are already in use... But I can't complain - it's coming out of Paris Hilton's mouth, so I wasn't expecting much.

[larstein]

When the history of the 2008 campaign is written, August 5 will be noted as the day McCain was neutralized by Paris Hilton. If political campaigns are mostly about symbolism, then Paris' commercial was both a slap down of McCain, and a redefinition of the meaning of celebrity itself. That she has, for years, played the role of vacuous airhead, and only now reveals that it is (and isn't) all an act, makes the ironic power of her common sense energy proposal more delicious. This is a girl who knows all too well the power and symbolism of image, and she demonstrated more skill than either Dems or Gops at turning an assumption about her on its head. If you listen to what she says, every phrase is brilliantly coded, every movement a perfectly poised solvent to McCain's heavy handed and strident attempts at sarcasm. Not only that, but as an added epiphany, she released the commercial on the very day McCain again degraded his wife with a pathetic offer to enter her in a beauty contest for debauched and naked biker chicks. Can it get any better?

[UnknownSoldier]

The key thing she said was WASTING DONORS MONEY, the media is missing this point. Kathy made it very clear that she felt like she wasted her money when she gave it to McCain. Where is the media storm around that.

The Media is Biased against DEMS

[deaconblue43]

What is it with all this "celebrity" talk. Why does the black man have to be a celebrity? Is it because they can only get cheers if they are dunking or scoring a touchdown or showing off the latest dance. Why belittle him as a celebrity, maybe people just want to hear what he has to say. Does John McCain think he can walk down a street and not be recognized. He's on TV shows and every late night show because nobody knows who he is?

[AnotherToerag]

Maybe because he attracts thousands (or even hundreds of thousands, in the case of Germany) everywhere he goes. Way to stereotype, btw. snark.

[GeeBee]

I think deaconblue was bemoaning the stereotype that a black person can only become famous by doing one of those things, and is "uppity" and not keeping to his place if he steps outside of them. At least that's how I read it.

[flatus]

Maybe after Brittany sobers up we'll get a comment from her, too.

[95flhtcu]

Like Totally. Off shore drilling is going to carry us until we get to the promise land? start drilling now, get a few drops of oil in 5 years. then, maybe in 10 years, it'll be flowing and we'll all save a few cents a gallon. that's not exactly what I'd call a "well-reasoned energy policy". That as was great until she started talking.

[SpoxLogic]

Er..you do realize that she IS NOT a candidate for POTUS right?

[meanguy]

does SHE?

[truthmachine]

Indeed. Hilton's "energy policy" only *sounds* well-reasoned to people incapable of reasoning and unfamiliar with the facts. Meanwhile, Obama has an extremely well-reasoned energy plan, if only Americans could be bothered to examine it (hint: it won't fit in a sound bite).

[going2ireland]

You totally missed the irony in that ad.

However, like a joke that you don't get, once you figure it out, it falls rather flat.

Very clever of Paris. And she hits McC right where the viagara is effective!!!

[palealien]

Totally perfect. I always despised even just seeing a photo of the girl, but now she has taken a step towards redemption, at least in my eyes alone. And I suspect many others. It was an excellent return of a really poorly thought out 'serve', and watching what the McCamp does next will be even better, I bet.
Gotta wonder, though, who wrote her speech..

[republicans4obama]

McCain's team LOVES the idea that Paris came out with this ad. It means we are still talking about it. It puts the celeb of the moment right there showing why is is famous for doing nothing. Wearing a $1000 bathing suit and reading a que card...GRE­AT. It will be another week in the news. Notice that while we are all talking about this, the serious side of the GOP and the McCain team has been beating down Obama on energy? And winning!

[writeaway]

Speaking of cue cards, McCain seems to be reading everything he says in his speeches. That way he won't make a bigger fool of himself with his total lack of knowledge on just about everything­..

[going2ireland]

Maybe that is why he faltered in Sturis - no cue cards!

[LABC]

LOL!! riiiiight.­.. get your GOP talking points early this morning? That's hot!

[UkieOlie]

Didn't you have the audio turned on?
And McCain is winning on ehergy???Have you had your tires checked lately?

[DueTruthinesss]

What would be really funny would be to secretly swap both Paris' and McCain's que cards. Neither one can talk without them.