iOS app Android app

Seth Greenland

Entries by Seth Greenland

The Recession Made Me An Optimist

(9) Comments | Posted May 1, 2009 | 10:03 AM

I am not the sunniest person I know. Not even close. But neither am I a font of Scandinavian gloom. If I had to describe how I try to go through the day, the word that comes to mind is bemused. My wife sometimes asks what is upsetting me and...

Read Post

Mindful In The Chaos

(5) Comments | Posted April 23, 2009 | 1:42 PM

Anyone can be mindful when the sky is blue and soft breezes are blowing. But just try to maintain that posture when storm clouds gather. It can be a challenge for some, an impossibility for others. Oh! The excitable person may exclaim -- and who among us never fits that...

Read Post

I Love a Man in Uniform

(42) Comments | Posted October 7, 2008 | 1:57 PM

How strange and troubling it was to see the guy with the shaved head who introduced Sarah Palin at her rally in Florida yesterday. His name is Mike Scott and although he bears some resemblance to the Ayotollah of Rock 'n' Rolla from the movie Road Warrior, he is actually...

Read Post

What John McCain is Thinking, Part V

(40) Comments | Posted September 25, 2008 | 6:39 PM

Where the hell did Cindy hide my Xanax? I need to double down. If I start acting any jumpier, they're gonna put me in a strait jacket.

Relax, Flyboy! I got the Pipe Cleaner on the run. I may have thrown him for a loop when I picked Sarah...

Read Post

What Is Barack Obama Thinking? Part I

(58) Comments | Posted September 11, 2008 | 6:49 PM

Grandpa just crashed the Straight Talk Express. He's got the steering wheel in one hand, a bottle of Maalox cut with bourbon in the other, and the old stripper girlfriend is grinding in his lap. The air is thick with... what's the word when a person says something that's not...

Read Post

What John McCain is Thinking, Part IV

(19) Comments | Posted September 4, 2008 | 10:59 AM

What is going through John McCain's mind as he prepares to address the Republican convention in St. Paul?

Wonder if they'll let me hold that baby while I give my speech.

It's great for our side that Sarah Palin set the whole world on its ear because hardly...

Read Post

What John McCain Is Thinking, Part III

(26) Comments | Posted September 2, 2008 | 1:39 PM

That anger management fella my guys hired told me to breathe. One two three in, one two three out...that's better. Who the %#@! hired a band called Hookers & Blow to play at our convention?

Let's see... We got another hurricane rattling off the Gulf Coast just in time to...

Read Post

What John McCain Is Thinking, Part II

(36) Comments | Posted August 29, 2008 | 5:13 PM

John McCain stood near Sarah Palin as she gave her speech where she agreed to be his running mate. What was he thinking?

How's this for a kick in the pants, America! Sarah Palin? Like you saw that one coming! The Governor of Alaska, my new favorite state, Bridge to...

Read Post

What John McCain is Thinking

(61) Comments | Posted August 28, 2008 | 2:34 PM

This week's Time Magazine has an interview with John McCain on the campaign plane in which the Straight Talker is described as "testy." What could be going through his mind?

I need a nap. When is this election going to end? It's like I've been on the...

Read Post

Hello, Sailor

(116) Comments | Posted July 31, 2008 | 12:21 PM

Back in 2000 I had the great good fortune to encounter Senator John McCain at a party. We talked for about ten minutes and I was charmed. So charmed that I bought his book, Flags of My Fathers (then actually read it), and subsequently purchased an additional copy to...

Read Post

Rocky Mountain Why?

(13) Comments | Posted July 26, 2008 | 10:20 AM

Here is an IM chat I had with my wife Susan in the lead up to yesterday's meeting between John McCain and the Dalai Lama in Aspen.

Hey Seth, did you see McCain is going to visit the Dalai Lama in Aspen? Do you think he's a seeker?

Read Post

Quién Es Mas Macho?

(124) Comments | Posted May 27, 2008 | 6:15 PM

"I will not accept from Senator Obama, who did not feel it was his responsibility to serve our country in uniform, any lectures on my regard for those who did." - John McCain in his remarks about the G.I. Bill

Barack Obama was born in 1962. He would have...

Read Post

God and Man in the White House

(108) Comments | Posted May 23, 2008 | 2:44 PM

This is not a brief about religion; it is about religion in politics. I recognize that at this point in the history of our great nation, inveighing against the current situation is akin to standing on the beach and yelling at the tide, but the burlesque of the past few...

Read Post

Hillary Is John Cleese

(119) Comments | Posted May 7, 2008 | 3:59 PM

Watching Hillary's inspirational victory speech last night I immediately thought of Monty Python. And not because her campaign resembles a dead parrot. The happy talk performance reminded me of the Black Knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

Read Post

Scamps vs. Dorks: Why Do We Want to Have a Beer with the President?

(81) Comments | Posted April 30, 2008 | 3:03 PM

I'll start by saying I hope I'm wrong.

In modern American presidential politics, a dork can never beat a scamp. To clarify, let me first define the terms. A scamp is a person with a devil may care quality, a charming rogue who exudes positive, charged energy. Bugs Bunny is...

Read Post

The Diane Sawyer Hooker Special

(7) Comments | Posted March 17, 2008 | 6:55 PM

According to an item in the New York Daily News, Diana Sawyer's show about prostitution (aka the Hooker Special) is being removed from the ABC shelf, dusted off, and given an air date.

Thank-you ABC, for finally confirming that there is a great deal of prostitution in America,...

Read Post

Welcome Back, Geraldine

(195) Comments | Posted March 11, 2008 | 10:50 PM

I never thought we missed much when America was denied the Vice-Presidency of Geraldine Ferraro, but now I know I was wrong. Recently, the feisty former New York City Congresswoman and Mondale running mate had this to say in an interview with the Daily Breeze: "If Obama was a white...

Read Post

What Goes on in Albany, Stays in Albany

(40) Comments | Posted March 10, 2008 | 9:47 PM

To paraphrase Sigmund Freud, Why does sex make everyone so crazy?

Today Governor Eliot Spitzer joined a long line of people in the public eye who have been caught keeping company with sex workers. Unlike Hugh Grant, he can't go on the Tonight Show and laugh it off --...

Read Post

Hillary Clinton: Tested in a Crisis

(219) Comments | Posted March 9, 2008 | 2:36 PM

Much has been written recently about Hillary Clinton's ability to manage a crisis and she and her surrogates regularly tout her vast experience in this area. These bona fides were recently questioned in a Chicago Tribune piece. Here's what I learned when I read it: Yes, she was peripherally...

Read Post

My Rehab Roommate

(11) Comments | Posted August 1, 2006 | 5:02 PM

Dear Arianna,

Thanks very much for your invitation to join you and David Geffen on the yacht later this month. Unfortunately, I will have to decline as I am in an "ongoing program of recovery" right now. Yes, that's right. After drinking a family-sized bottle of Manischewitz, then getting...

Read Post