While sleepily making my way through breakfast yesterday morning, an item in the New York Times jumped out at me: the Federal Aviation Administration, in their infinite wisdom, is rescinding the prohibition of sharp objects on commercial flights just in time for the holiday travel rush. Merry Christmas!
While this must have come as a great relief to hobbyists who, for the past four years, have been banned from pursuing their woodworking projects at 30,000 feet, I nearly choked on my toast. For probably the first time in my life, I find myself in agreement with Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson (R. Tex.), who believes this to be idiotic.
Did someone appoint Mike Brown head of the FAA when I wasn’t looking? What are these people thinking? The stated reason is to allow baggage checkers more time to search for bombs, certainly a worthwhile endeavor. But is it too much to ask the technicians of the Transportation Safety Administration to walk and chew gum at the same time? Given their previously exhibited creativity with boxcutters, it does not take much imagination to think what a jihadist armed with a Phillips head screwdriver could do to a crew member, or the person in the next seat.
Just when you thought you thought you could knock back a Johnny Walker and slip your eye mask on, you now have to watch out for that suspicious-looking guy furtively trimming his fingernails across the aisle. Don’t most members of Congress (at least the ones not on Jack Abramoff’s speed dial) still have to fly commercial? Are they awake? Is anyone in charge?
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