If you are like me, you constantly plan your travel around the likelihood of running into such people as Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh. That is, you want to avoid them like Bill O'Reilly avoids a falafel sandwich (hey, I never claimed to be timely).
So, I thought I'd do a public service and let you in on some vacation secrets you can take advantage of as you're planning your next getaway. The following is a list of places I deem least likely for you to run into Sarah Palin this year. Happy traveling!
Alaska
This is your chance to see the beauty of the northernmost state without worrying you might come in contact with La Palin. Seeing as how she's doing media and political appearances around the country, she's outside of her beloved Alaska more than she's there. Bully for us because we can now take advantage of such places as Glacier Bay, Denali National Park, Nome, and Manley Hot Springs.
Russia
As we all know, Sarah has a deep affinity for Russia but because she's so close to it, seeing it from her backyard on a regular basis, she doesn't feel the need to actually go there: Sarah already knows everything there is to know about it! Since you may not be the expert Sarah is, when you're there, be sure to check out the Black Sea resorts, the Hermitage, Vladimir, and St. Petersburg.
Anywhere Outside U.S.
Now that we mention it, you can go pretty much anywhere outside the US and assume you'll be Palin-free. Sarah is not a big traveler outside our fair country. In fact, while she used to go to Canada for free health care, before going to Kuwait and Germany to visit troops in 2007, the only other international experience Palin had was in Mexico (and come on, does Tijuana really count?) so you're pretty safe outside the U.S. While you're traveling internationally, make sure to take advantage of some of these exotic offerings: health care for all, affordable public university, six weeks of vacation, and paid maternity/paternity leave.
New Mexico
As we said, Sarah's not going anywhere outside the US and, well, Albuquerque is a really hard word to pronounce and besides, isn't that new law supposed to get the New Mexicans out of Arizona? While you're in NM, here are some things you'll want to check out: the Museum of Contemporary Native Arts in Santa Fe, a Las Cruces ranch tour, or the town of Taos.
Washington, DC
Since Washington, DC is not home to "real America," I can't imagine Sarah would want to visit our capital city. But DC has a lot to offer: the sculpture garden, National Archives, Rock Creek Park, Ben's Chili Bowl, and finally, the always compelling Department of Law. Is that on J Street, perhaps, Sarah?
The Iraq
Oh, wait, that's someone else. Or is it? (cue mystery music)
Shadia Garrison writes at Mindful Tourist.
In your next installment you might mention the Bay Area: S.F. Oakland and Berkeley have many charms - Sarah Palin will never be among (or even near) them.
She's been to Boston, fleetingly, but the People's Republic of Cambridge will never see Sarah. Any other locus of advanced learning is also an unlikely viewing point.
It is under "Travel".
And therefore is the stupidest thing I have read today.
And I have read a lot of stupid things today.
So "Go to Russia"!
And have fun. Yuck