Hey...it's me...Nola Chick. I'm just here on my couch having a few glasses of wine and thinking about you and about us. We had some wild times, right? Right?? (Nervous laughter) I probably shouldn't have called but... I have a few things to get off my chest. I guess I was just wondering, what happened? We were so happy then all of a sudden... it's over. Just like that.
I keep asking myself what I'm going to do on Sundays. Sundays were our days! And we were supposed to take that big trip to Indianapolis in a couple of weeks. Now, I'll just spend that weekend at home, thinking about what might have been. I feel empty, you know? I just want it to go back to the way it was a few months ago when we were riding high and it seemed like nothing could stop us. It's like, I can't turn on the TV or listen to the radio without being reminded of how things were.
I'M DYING OVER HERE!!! AND SOMETIMES I WONDER IF YOU EVEN CARE!!! I MEAN, DO YOU EVEN CARE???? OR IS IT JUST ALLLLL ABOUT YOU?? HAVE YOU EVEN STOPPED FOR ONE SECOND TO THINK ABOUT HOW YOUR ACTIONS AFFECT ME? DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT ME?!! SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I HATE YOU!!!
I'm sorry. (sobbing at this point) I didn't mean to yell. It's just that, I miss what we had.
I can't eat, I can't sleep. I'm just... I'm lost. I can't believe you did what you did and I can't believe who you did it with. The 49ers? Those skanks? They don't deserve the happiness we had together.
Part of me wants to grab a bat, get in my car, drive to San Francisco right now and... no, no... I won't go there.
I'm better than that. I'll just say what goes around comes around.
Anways, I want to know what we can do to make this right again. Or have you moved on, already? Yeah, I bet that's what it is. You've moved on already.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE SO **BLEEPIN** SELFISH!!! NO SERIOUSLY, YOU'RE JUST SELFISH. IF YOU CARED ABOUT ME, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LET THINGS GET TO THIS POINT. YOU WOULD HAVE DONE WHATEVER IT TOOK TO MAKE IT WORK. YOU PUT ME ON THIS EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER AND YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST GET OVER IT? REALLY? JUST LIKE THAT?? I HATE YOU!!!!!
(Violently sobbing now)I don't hate you, baby. You know I don't mean that. I'm just hurt. I'm sitting here, listening to "Stand Up and Get Crunk" on repeat, wearing that t-shirt I wore on our special day back in February of 2010, thinking about how happy we were and driving myself nuts. I probably shouldn't have called. I'm sorry I called. I really do hope you're happy. I'm not just saying that. I want you to be happy because when you care about someone you want the best for them. I just wish I could be happy too, but I guess there's no way to make that happen.
(Chugs more wine)
Maybe this time apart will be good for us. Maybe once we think about what went wrong, we can figure out how to make it right. But only a few months apart, okay? Maybe once the summer is over we can start fresh. I really think we can have what we had again.
Well, you were probably busy so I won't keep you any longer. And I know you probably think I'm drunk but I'm not. (I'm totally drunk) I'm just emotional and having a hard time dealing with things.
So anyways, I'll let you go. Before I do... please say those two little words to me. I know it's hard to say but I need to hear it. Okay, I'll go first...
(Deep and heavy sigh)
(Article originally published at the female fan website Chicks in the Huddle)
Follow Shaneika Dabney on Twitter: www.twitter.com/chicksndahuddle