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Tiki's Cheating Scandal: Too Triflling to Ignore

06/08/2010 05:12 am 05:12:01 | Updated May 25, 2011

Looks like we can stop wondering who takes the title of "evil twin" between the Barber brothers...

Former New York Giant Tiki Barber is a giant sleaze bag if some new rumors about him are true. According to the New York Post, Barber is leaving his wife (who is pregnant with twins) because, wait for it... he's sacking some 23 year old blonde who used to intern at NBC! And not only that, a report in the New York Daily News now claims the mistress pretended to be a babysitter for Tiki's 2 kids as a cover for why the two were so close.

Tiki, Tiki, Tiki... tsk, tsk, tsk.

The two were seen canoodling... wait, that's too cute of a word to describe some dude sneaking around with a mistress who was 10 when he started his pro career. The two have been seen "tramping around" from Washington, DC to Senegal where Tiki filmed a documentary last year. Barber hasn't fessed up to stepping out on his marriage, but he did release this statement regarding the state of his marriage to Ginny Barber: "After 11 years of marriage, Ginny and I have decided to separate."

Hmmm...is that the nice way of saying, "She chased me around the house with a barbell and now I'm headed to sex rehab"?

The alleged mistress has been identified as Tracy Lynn Johnson, a former NBC intern. According to the Post, Barber's wife found out about Johnson sometime last year, just before Tiki moved out into a bachelor pad in Manhattan.

Can we all pause for one collective sigh?

Look, I know athletes (former and current), rich, famous and, in Tiki's case, pseudo-attractive, are faced with more temptations than Joe NoNames who struggle with fidelity could even imagine. But what makes these accusations so heartbreaking is that Tiki has put himself on the "faithful, family guy" pedestal. (Sound familiar?) In a 2004 interview, he talked about how much pain his own cheating father caused his family and how he's had such a hard time forgiving his dad for his transgressions.

As anticipated, Tiki's wife declined to comment on the scandal. So, I've decided to comment on her behalf:

I fully intend to take Tiki for everything he's got, from his fancy cars to his crotch-clutching slacks. I would pray for this scandal to ruin his career and credibility, but I need those checks to keep coming. Furthermore, I sincerely hope my douchebag, soon to be ex-husband and his blonde bimbo suffer from a debilitating case of crabs which spread to her luxurious blonde locks, causing them to fall off and litter the floor of his Upper East Side whorehouse. Sincerely, G.B.

I don't know about Ginny, but that sure made me feel a lot better.