Dear Santa,
I've put my time in this year. I've worked hard all year, I've even toiled. I'm worn out and as I was helping my children make their Christmas list the other night, I thought to myself, hey, I haven't asked in a while, maybe I could get myself on that list of his. Maybe Old St. Nick has something for me this year. I'm an autism mom and while there are many ways it is beyond amazing at my house, there are a few ways it can be rough, too. I'm feeling pretty strongly that I deserve a big, fat diamond (go big or go home, right?) this year and here's why:
When that lady the grocery store told me if I was a littler sterner in my parenting my daughter wouldn't dare be so defiant, I simple smiled and commented that she sure was a handful sometimes. Can you even imagine the self-control something like that would take? Can you get in the trouble for the thoughts that run through your head, or just the things that you actually do? Anyway, I held it together and even managed a smile with some herculean effort.
And then there was that other time at the grocery store (why do people feel the need to bother me while I shop?) when that man said to give him two weeks with Kate and he we would "straighten her out." I could have slapped him in the face with my purse, but I didn't. I simple told him that Kate was already perfect and went on my way. She was screaming bloody murder and had a handful of my hair at the time, but that is beside the point.
I've take my fair share of hits, kicks, bites and full-on head butts from our little ninja girl at bedtime, and I only complain a little. She gets confused and has a hard time regulating herself. Don't we all, sometimes? She doesn't mean it, and I never take offense to any of it. She gives far more hugs than hits, any day.
I've cut down on my chocolate and wine consumption this year, which leaves more chocolate and wine out there for other tired moms. I may have had some ulterior motives, like trimming my waistline, but I had those other exhausted moms on my mind, too. Look at me getting my charity on. So, I have been pretty selfless, too. Surely, that will get your attention.
I've watched countless hours of Dora the Explorer and The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I've even forsaken entire episodes of House of Cards to this end. I'm not ever sure if my tired brain can even follow the story anymore. Something about Vice President Swiper going after Frank Underwood, isn't it? If this isn't true sacrifice, I don't know what is. What more do you want?
When the automatic toilet and the automatic dryer went off at the same time in the public washroom and the sensory overload sent my little girl into a tailspin, I only hit the hand dryer hard a little, just to see if it would stop. It's only a little crooked now and it still works perfectly.
Did you think I was going to ask for a nap or a weekend away? While I could use both of those things, for sure, I just feel a shiny diamond on my hand might be a little luxury to keep me going. I lost my engagement ring long ago. Besides, maybe I could use the shine of that sparkler to stun people who try and give me advice in the grocery store. If all else feels it's sure to leave a mark.
So, when you are working out your Christmas list this year, provided that whole "destroying public property" thing doesn't have me on the naughty list, consider a big fat diamond for this tired mom. Its sparkle might be just the medicine I need.