Shannon Bradley-Colleary
GET UPDATES FROM Shannon Bradley-Colleary
Shannon Bradley-Colleary is an Aging Vaintress, Wife Dominatrix, Hirsute Mom Butler who blogs at The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful.
Humble Author of Into The Child: 40 weeks in the gestational wilderness

Entries by Shannon Bradley-Colleary

Como tirar fotos nua ajudou a superar minhas questões de imagem corporal

(0) Comments | Posted October 1, 2014 | 6:20 PM

NOTA: Este artigo contém nudez e pode não ser adequado para o ambiente de trabalho.

Três anos atrás, eu e meu corpo de 46 anos posamos para nus artísticos. Estava infeliz por ter ganhado 8 quilos depois de ter filhos e queria saber se tinha sobrado alguma beleza em mim.

Read Post

How Taking Nude Photos Helped Me Get Over My Body Issues

(40) Comments | Posted September 29, 2014 | 8:56 AM

Note: The following article contains nudity. It may not be suitable for work environments.

Three years ago, I had fine art nudes taken of my 46-year-old body because I'd become disgruntled with my 20-pound weight gain after kids and wanted to see if there was any beauty left there.


Read Post

14 Reasons You Might Be Catnip For Asshats

(0) Comments | Posted September 16, 2014 | 12:06 AM

Ahh, that perennial dating black hole, the Asshat.

They don't call when they say they will. They don't show up when expected. They brood at social gatherings with friends and family. You're fairly certain they're cheating on you in office cubicles, toilet stalls and perhaps even in your own...

Read Post

A White Mother's Reaction to 'Dear White Moms'

(0) Comments | Posted September 8, 2014 | 1:12 PM

Racism: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race. -- Merriam Webster Dictionary

No one wants to admit they're racist. But I believe we're all racist to varying degrees. Human beings tend to

Read Post

One Mom's Secret Life

(0) Comments | Posted September 4, 2014 | 5:24 PM

I didn't realize when I woke up this morning there was a price on my head.

I rolled out of bed after the kids and Henry were off to school and work, slipping on my terrycloth robe and padding barefoot out into the kitchen to put the kettle on for...

Read Post

A Brush With Disaster Changed My Married Sex

(0) Comments | Posted September 3, 2014 | 11:23 AM

I'm not sure what moon my cycle is in, or which lunar orbit is pivoting across the satellite of my luminescent chakras and third eye, but I'm feeling sentimental about my man.

Henry turned 54 in August. Can this be true? I met him for the first time when I...

Read Post

R-Rated Movies: When We Became the Parents We Judged

(1) Comments | Posted August 19, 2014 | 2:34 PM

We're the parents who allowed our 12-year old daughter to watch two R-rated movies.

Is it my imagination, or have our phones stopped ringing for play dates because we're the libertines leading our child down the inglorious path of foul-mouthed, fart-laden, flipping-the-bird juvenile delinquency? Is this just our...

Read Post

6 Ways Dating Is Like Hiking in Dangerous Climbs

(0) Comments | Posted August 11, 2014 | 4:21 PM

1. You must be sure you have the right foot equipment!

Are you going to wear flip-flops to ascend Killamanjaro?

I think not. You've got to be prepared for the rigors of the hike.

Likewise, if you're wearing fashionably tall Jimmy Choo stilettos on a first date it may be...

Read Post

Puberty vs. Menopause

(0) Comments | Posted July 22, 2014 | 1:53 PM

I have daughters entering puberty while I simultaneously enter menopause. It's an occasional Sh*tastrophy, and I expect even more Punji Stick booby traps as their estrogen escalates and mine deteriorates.

It was during my pubescent years I began to shape the story I told about my parents to rein them...

Read Post

When Forcing My Daughter to Face Her Fears Backfired

(7) Comments | Posted July 17, 2014 | 10:45 AM

2014-07-16-Clareyelling.jpgThe day was perfect for boogie boarding at the beach. The tubes were hollow, the pits weren't dropping, there weren't any bombs to pound you and you could even catch air on some radical ramps, Bro.

But there Clare stood at the...

Read Post

5 Dreadful Things That Happened to My Daughters at Summer Camp

(1) Comments | Posted July 7, 2014 | 2:02 PM

I did something that totally pissed my kids off. I sent them to summer sports camp so I could work and try to make money to pay for their braces and college.

That's right, I'm an a**hole.

After camp, when I got to the front of the pick-up line in...

Read Post

10 Disturbing Things About My Menopause

(5) Comments | Posted July 1, 2014 | 12:20 PM


10 signs you need to keep menopausal madness at bay.

1. You go out to sushi with a large group of extended family members.

Everyone else is done eating and your order still hasn't arrived.

You go into hunger-related psychosis and, like the whipped-up Calvary...

Read Post

My Encounter With a Breast Expert Was More Intimate Than I Bargained For

(0) Comments | Posted June 16, 2014 | 4:35 PM

Intimacy with strangers just happens to me. There was the gentleman confessor of an adulterous liaison on the flight back from Boulder and now there is the Breast Expert with vertigo.

It happened in Macy's on a business trip in Salt Lake City, just a two-block hike from...

Read Post

10 Signs You're Dating an Asshat and 5 Tips to Avoid Them

(77) Comments | Posted June 7, 2014 | 9:19 AM

Asshats. We've all been in love with at least one. Haven't we? If you haven't, do me a service and lie.

What defines an Asshat? (I'm going to refer to men, but Asshatism crosses all gender lines). My #AsshatCriteria:

1. He never does what he says he'll do. He doesn't...

Read Post

Risky Sex = Hot Sex?

(0) Comments | Posted June 6, 2014 | 11:48 AM

Have you ever had sex in a shark tank? Well you should!

A recent article on touted "Getting Risky" as one of the best ways to have phantasmagorical orgasms, aka hot sex.

The article suggested hiking (and fornicating) in precipitous climes with your partner as the kind...

Read Post

How Taking 1950s Pin-up Photos Made Me Love My Age

(7) Comments | Posted May 29, 2014 | 11:12 AM

I'm creeping up on 50. It used to be that 50 was the time we transformed into the Crypt Keeper. Now, it simply seems like the beginning of an exciting new chapter.

Last week, in celebration of my mid-life marker, I got to be a Bombshell. I've always...

Read Post

What Happened When a Married, Perfect Stranger Confessed He Has a Mistress

(0) Comments | Posted May 28, 2014 | 4:43 PM

I am frequently mistaken for a priest. People confess things to me. I don't ask them to tell me their secrets, but I must have a non-judgemental face because in under five minutes flat the gentleman in seat 2C on my flight from Denver to L.A. confessed he had a...

Read Post

8 Signs My Husband Needs Sex

(8) Comments | Posted May 22, 2014 | 10:49 AM

2014-05-19-HenryandIafterWilla.jpg.jpgIt was time. I could tell it was time because Henry, who usually traverses the house with the stealth of an experienced hunter tracking a herd of jittery American Bison, had begun stomping around and inadvertently slamming into furniture as if he'd...

Read Post

The Danger Of Being The Parents Of Young Children At 50

(9) Comments | Posted May 14, 2014 | 7:37 AM

It seemed like an ordinary night. There were no harbingers of doom -- a murder of black crows on the telephone wires outside, a vanity mirror broken jaggedly down its center.

No, all was as it usually was. Henry was reading to Bridget in the next room and Clare...

Read Post

10 Ways Kids Changed Me Forever

(0) Comments | Posted May 13, 2014 | 11:30 AM

When the nurse placed my first swaddled newborn on my chest right after I gave birth, I believe the first words out of my mouth to my husband were, "I am so f#@ked." And I still feel that way. Because before kids I was pretty invulnerable.

I worried about things...

Read Post