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Shannon Bradley-Colleary
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Shannon Bradley-Colleary is an Aging Vaintress, Wife Dominatrix, Hirsute Mom Butler who blogs at The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful.
Humble Author of Into The Child: 40 weeks in the gestational wilderness

Entries by Shannon Bradley-Colleary

51-Year-Old Mrs. Colorado Beauty Contestant Takes Fine Art Nudes to Love Her Body Now

(0) Comments | Posted December 17, 2014 | 10:29 AM

Editor's Note: The images below are not safe for work.

Ruby Fox, a Denver-based skincare boutique owner, likes to set a new challenge for herself every year.

The year she turned 49, Ruby decided to apply for the Mrs. Colorado Beauty Pageant, "just in case they needed some fat...

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Identical Twins Address Body Image Issues (PHOTOS)

(3) Comments | Posted December 9, 2014 | 1:21 PM

Note: Some of the images below may be considered not safe for work.

When 48-year-old identical twins Lisanne and Colette Sartor asked to participate in my Love Your Body Now: Healing Body Image Issues Through Fine Art Nudes project, I didn't think they were suitable candidates.

The project...

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How You Can Fall in Love With Your Stepmother

(3) Comments | Posted November 10, 2014 | 9:03 AM

I was 2 years old when my stepmother Gini burst into my life like a glamorous, marauding Valkyrie set on bending me to her will.

She had platinum blonde hair worn in an Aqua-Net bouffant, thick black eyeliner and a figure Jayne Mansfield would've killed for. At night, she peeled...

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Como tirar fotos nua ajudou a superar minhas questões de imagem corporal

(0) Comments | Posted October 1, 2014 | 7:20 PM

NOTA: Este artigo contém nudez e pode não ser adequado para o ambiente de trabalho.

Três anos atrás, eu e meu corpo de 46 anos posamos para nus artísticos. Estava infeliz por ter ganhado 8 quilos depois de ter filhos e queria saber se tinha sobrado alguma beleza em mim.

...
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How Taking Nude Photos Helped Me Get Over My Body Issues

(40) Comments | Posted September 29, 2014 | 9:56 AM

Note: The following article contains nudity. It may not be suitable for work environments.

Three years ago, I had fine art nudes taken of my 46-year-old body because I'd become disgruntled with my 20-pound weight gain after kids and wanted to see if there was any beauty left there.

This...

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14 Reasons You Might Be Catnip For Asshats

(0) Comments | Posted September 16, 2014 | 1:06 AM

Ahh, that perennial dating black hole, the Asshat.

They don't call when they say they will. They don't show up when expected. They brood at social gatherings with friends and family. You're fairly certain they're cheating on you in office cubicles, toilet stalls and perhaps even in your own...

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A White Mother's Reaction to 'Dear White Moms'

(0) Comments | Posted September 8, 2014 | 2:12 PM

Racism: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race. -- Merriam Webster Dictionary

No one wants to admit they're racist. But I believe we're all racist to varying degrees. Human beings tend to

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One Mom's Secret Life

(0) Comments | Posted September 4, 2014 | 6:24 PM

I didn't realize when I woke up this morning there was a price on my head.

I rolled out of bed after the kids and Henry were off to school and work, slipping on my terrycloth robe and padding barefoot out into the kitchen to put the kettle on for...

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A Brush With Disaster Changed My Married Sex

(0) Comments | Posted September 3, 2014 | 12:23 PM

I'm not sure what moon my cycle is in, or which lunar orbit is pivoting across the satellite of my luminescent chakras and third eye, but I'm feeling sentimental about my man.

Henry turned 54 in August. Can this be true? I met him for the first time when I...

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R-Rated Movies: When We Became the Parents We Judged

(1) Comments | Posted August 19, 2014 | 3:34 PM

We're the parents who allowed our 12-year old daughter to watch two R-rated movies.

Is it my imagination, or have our phones stopped ringing for play dates because we're the libertines leading our child down the inglorious path of foul-mouthed, fart-laden, flipping-the-bird juvenile delinquency? Is this just our...

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6 Ways Dating Is Like Hiking in Dangerous Climbs

(0) Comments | Posted August 11, 2014 | 5:21 PM

1. You must be sure you have the right foot equipment!

Are you going to wear flip-flops to ascend Killamanjaro?

I think not. You've got to be prepared for the rigors of the hike.

Likewise, if you're wearing fashionably tall Jimmy Choo stilettos on a first date it may be...

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Puberty vs. Menopause

(0) Comments | Posted July 22, 2014 | 2:53 PM

I have daughters entering puberty while I simultaneously enter menopause. It's an occasional Sh*tastrophy, and I expect even more Punji Stick booby traps as their estrogen escalates and mine deteriorates.

It was during my pubescent years I began to shape the story I told about my parents to rein them...

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When Forcing My Daughter to Face Her Fears Backfired

(7) Comments | Posted July 17, 2014 | 11:45 AM

2014-07-16-Clareyelling.jpgThe day was perfect for boogie boarding at the beach. The tubes were hollow, the pits weren't dropping, there weren't any bombs to pound you and you could even catch air on some radical ramps, Bro.

But there Clare stood at the...

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5 Dreadful Things That Happened to My Daughters at Summer Camp

(1) Comments | Posted July 7, 2014 | 3:02 PM

I did something that totally pissed my kids off. I sent them to summer sports camp so I could work and try to make money to pay for their braces and college.

That's right, I'm an a**hole.

After camp, when I got to the front of the pick-up line in...

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10 Disturbing Things About My Menopause

(5) Comments | Posted July 1, 2014 | 1:20 PM

ALERT! ALERT! MENOPAUSAL WOMEN BEWARE:

10 signs you need to keep menopausal madness at bay.

1. You go out to sushi with a large group of extended family members.

Everyone else is done eating and your order still hasn't arrived.

You go into hunger-related psychosis and, like the whipped-up Calvary...

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My Encounter With a Breast Expert Was More Intimate Than I Bargained For

(0) Comments | Posted June 16, 2014 | 5:35 PM

Intimacy with strangers just happens to me. There was the gentleman confessor of an adulterous liaison on the flight back from Boulder and now there is the Breast Expert with vertigo.

It happened in Macy's on a business trip in Salt Lake City, just a two-block hike from...

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10 Signs You're Dating an Asshat and 5 Tips to Avoid Them

(77) Comments | Posted June 7, 2014 | 10:19 AM

Asshats. We've all been in love with at least one. Haven't we? If you haven't, do me a service and lie.

What defines an Asshat? (I'm going to refer to men, but Asshatism crosses all gender lines). My #AsshatCriteria:

1. He never does what he says he'll do. He doesn't...

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Risky Sex = Hot Sex?

(0) Comments | Posted June 6, 2014 | 12:48 PM

Have you ever had sex in a shark tank? Well you should!

A recent article on Health.com touted "Getting Risky" as one of the best ways to have phantasmagorical orgasms, aka hot sex.

The article suggested hiking (and fornicating) in precipitous climes with your partner as the kind...

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How Taking 1950s Pin-up Photos Made Me Love My Age

(7) Comments | Posted May 29, 2014 | 12:12 PM

I'm creeping up on 50. It used to be that 50 was the time we transformed into the Crypt Keeper. Now, it simply seems like the beginning of an exciting new chapter.

Last week, in celebration of my mid-life marker, I got to be a Bombshell. I've always...

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What Happened When a Married, Perfect Stranger Confessed He Has a Mistress

(0) Comments | Posted May 28, 2014 | 5:43 PM

I am frequently mistaken for a priest. People confess things to me. I don't ask them to tell me their secrets, but I must have a non-judgemental face because in under five minutes flat the gentleman in seat 2C on my flight from Denver to L.A. confessed he had a...

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