I've been the same weight for approximately five years. 140 lbs. Sometimes I'm up to 143, sometimes down to 137, but almost always exactly at 140. I am 5 foot 6 1/2 inches tall. I'm 46. So let's shark about the internet and find out if I'm really fat ...
1. The National Heart Lung and Blood Institute says a normal BMI is 18.5 - 24.9. When I calculate my BMI I come out at 22.3 which is well within the normal, healthy range.
2. Am-i-fat.com says that if I were a female in the U.S. Army my healthy weight would be between 143-147 lbs. Hoo-ahh!
3. Myoptumhealth.com says a women my height should weigh between 118-156 lbs.
Clearly I'm in a healthy weight range. So I've decided to do something radical.
I'm not going to lose weight.
Say what? That's it. I've relinquished 130. Would I like 130? Yes. Do I need it? No. I've been nit-picking myself about those ten pounds for five years. I've been wanting to get back to my pre-child, pre-40s size. Well I'm done with it and this is why.
The unretouched girl below is 25-years old and weighs 125 lbs. She's a size 4. She doesn't like her body. She's broken it down into parts as if it were a car. Some parts are acceptable, others she hates. She thinks she has cellulite on her bum:
She thinks she needs liposuction on her thighs:
She thinks her breasts are too small:
She is me. 21 years ago. With a media-induced case of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Deceased Hollywood headshot photographer Helmut Lipschitz took these for a gallery show he was producing. I allowed him to do so as a woman trying to see my real body. Not the inadequate one I thought I had.
I look at this girl now and wonder, "Why did she even wear any clothes? She could've just walked around naked all the time!" Whenever I get the chance I show everyone my nudes. Henry just sighs and says, "I see you've managed to get your nudes out again." My mom's group is sick of my nudes. The Jehovah's Witnesses have stopped coming by. Even the neighborhood realtors don't leave their flyers in our gate anymore for fear I'll chase them down the street with my photo album shrieking,"Look at my nudes! Wasn't I gorgeous?!"
(And of course I won't be running for public office anytime soon ... wonder if they'd let me put my nudes up in the Oval Office?)
Here are Henry and I two summers ago. (We don't do nudes anymore) I call this our Angie and Brad shot (he's Angie):
I don't have the same body I had in my nudes. But ... not bad. (Henry's since lost 10 lbs. Does he have a second family somewhere? Anyone? Anyone?)
In 21 years from now I'll look back at this photo and think -- I looked great. Why did I worry so much about sucking in my soft round belly? It barely showed! And my kids loved to snuggle on it, my husband too. Why didn't I enjoy the way I looked and especially the way I felt, which was extravagantly healthy? Why didn't I carpe the freakin' diem?
Any woman worth her salt knows all about the photo-shopping and air brushing that runs rampant in the advertising industry, accosting us relentlessly with fake perfection. If you haven't you might enjoy seeing photoshopping in action:
WATCH:
We all know that advertisers make it their business to manipulate us into hating ourselves so we'll buy their products. Still an image is worth a thousand words. As a society we are brainwashed into the perpetual quest for perfection and it's just NOT POSSIBLE.
So I won't be losing weight. What I'll be doing is:
Developing a healthier relationship with food.
And maintaining a healthy weight.
I don't have the nerve (yet) to make my own "Muffinlicious" video, but here is one brave woman who has pulled a Jamie Lee Curtis and shown us how to celebrate our imperfections:
WATCH:
What are you struggling to accept?
This post originally appeared on The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful.
Follow Shannon Bradley-Colleary on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@shannoncollear
I am 45. I say this as I am on the Quantum Wellness Cleanse by Kathy Freston and doing Tracy Anderson's fitness video. I have to work harder now but I am more conscious of my health and I do love and appreciate what is, imperfections and all.
I think that it is important for women our age to help younger women appreciate their bodies by complimenting them and helping them see what is.
Thanks for sharing your perspective on this and being so open.
We all have our issues.
I am now atrophied at 125 pounds, 120 on a bad day, 130 on an equally bad day. I had so much muscle that my thighs were bulked up due to the muscle, and not the fat. When the muscle started to go, I now see how thin I truly was, but the muscle on my thighs seems to be leaving the slowest to my critical eyes. But everyone else thinks they look great so whatever. (they are wrong.)
http://youtu.be/PTlmho_RovY
My new mantra: you are never more beautiful than you are NOW. The past is gone, and when you look back you will realize how beautiful you were when then was now. So love your now because you will never be more beautiful than you are now.
I look back at photos when I was in my 20s 110 lbs, 18% body fat and I HATED the way I looked. I thought I was fat, my boobs were too big, my tummy too soft...
As much as I critisize myself now, I try and go back to my mantra. Woman need to stop looking to media to judge their beauty. And stop letting beauty define their selfworth. And realize they really are beautiful.
I should qualify "look like models"...since most models today are NOT my ideal woman, nor healthy looking. I am uncomfortable that the second shot (of her back) is being shown as a possible "ideal"...lots of rib bones showing there, and I hate to think young women will strive for that.
Great Comment Hudson, I was looking at her photos when she was 25 and I thought wow,, she's skinny, I can see every bone in her back and all of her ribs... How is that attractive? Maybe it's cultural but some women and men would find her to be too skinny and some men actually like women with meat on their bones.
Where I got into trouble thinking I had cellulite and needed liposuction was criticism from my first lover. We were together five years and throughout that time he'd pinch my thighs and bottom and show me the dimpled flesh telling me I had cellulite. At the time I didn't even know what cellulite was! I became so self-consious I didn't wear skirts or shorts for years. Thank goodness I got my act together and got out of that relationship. I was shocked to discover my next boyfriend thought my legs and bum were fantastic.
I guess what I'm trying to say in this article is to appreciate the body you're in. Now. Whether it's skinny, fat, tall, short, curvy or straight. Love you body now. It's the conduit for so many wonderful things. And in my case two beautiful daughters.
Sometimes women have unrealistic ideas of what working out can do.
Getting on the treadmill with a magazine for 60 minutes IS WORKING OUT. But for a personal trainer like Michael, that simplicity of work in his field done by regular-day people-which are his main clientel-Will Not Make Money For Him. Have you ever heard a personal trainer say "get on the treadmill and walk for 60 minutes?" I have, because I have been with dozens of trainers nationwide, from world class to garage-gyms. If you control your nutrition, muscle matters simply to health concerns with women. You can look great as a glo-worm without muscle, like that actress from the Twilight movies.
Trainers are not there for your benefit. Nobody will tell you what I am about to say. Trainers are there to prove their self-regard and esteem for their work and job, which happens to address to "working" you out. Never never never listen to personal trainers before you listen to yourself. You think something will bulk you up: You Are Right-It WILL. I KNOW. I went 4 hours, 2 hrs, am/2 hrs, pm every day but Sunday, doing olympic-style weightlifts. Now I don't. I look Completely different.