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Game Change: How About a War FOR Women?

Posted: 05/18/2012 3:12 pm

You know the saying, "the best defense is a good offense?" I'm thinking that instead of expending our energy on the war on women, why don't we wage a war for women? Right?

I sometimes wonder if we women -- roughly half the population and half the workforce, too -- have been so busy defending ourselves from recent assaults that we've become too distracted and too exhausted to regain our forward momentum.

After all, the biggest victories for civil rights in our country have been proactive -- think LBJ's work to pass the Civil Rights Act of 1964 or, for that matter, President Obama's recent pronouncement of support for gay marriage. Ours is a civil rights issue every bit as important as the fight for equality in any other realm. But what's baffling to me is the fact that so many Americans -- many of them married to women, the children of women or the parents of women --- find things like equal pay or family-friendly workplaces a subversive idea. Huh?

I first got to thinking about this after hearing President Obama's talk at a Women's Leadership Forum fundraiser back in April, when he reminded the audience, as he often does, that the first act he signed into law was the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009. He also reminded the audience that we, as women, still have work to do.

My second nudge was his commencement speech at Barnard, a woman's school, where he told the new grads:

After decades of slow, steady, extraordinary progress, you are now poised to make this the century where women shape not only their own destiny but the destiny of this nation and of this world.

But how far your leadership takes this country, how far it takes this world -- well, that will be up to you. You've got to want it. It will not be handed to you. And as someone who wants that future -- that better future -- for you, and for Malia and Sasha, as somebody who's had the good fortune of being the husband and the father and the son of some strong, remarkable women, allow me to offer just a few pieces of advice. That's obligatory. Bear with me.

My first piece of advice is this: Don't just get involved. Fight for your seat at the table. Better yet, fight for a seat at the head of the table.

A few minutes later, he added this:

You need to do this not just for yourself but for those who don't yet enjoy the choices that you've had, the choices you will have. And one reason many workplaces still have outdated policies is because women only account for 3 percent of the CEOs at Fortune 500 companies. One reason we're actually refighting long-settled battles over women's rights is because women occupy fewer than one in five seats in Congress.
Washington Post writer Dana Milbank calls Obama the first female president. Like it.

Some folks suggest that when our president comes out in defense of women's rights, he's simply trolling for votes. I could care less. Because what I see is that, for whatever reason, he is putting women's rights front and center: He's issuing a rallying cry, one we can get behind. With plans, actions, proposals of our own. Which is, after all, where change comes from.

When you think about where we stand when it comes to equal pay (still 77 cents to a man's buck, thank you. Even less for women of color, as we found when we were doing the reporting for Undecided), our representation -- or lack of same -- in government or the C-suites, or our lack of public policy or workplace structures to accommodate families, well, I think it's downright silly. No, not just silly. Insane. Especially when you consider that women now make up the majority of college graduates, and yet, we're still lacking in rights and representation.

Let's take the Equal Rights Amendment, for example. Have you heard of it? Probably not. Because guess what: It was passed in the Senate and the House back in 1972, but to this day has not been ratified because three states apparently found it too, um, radical. It was reintroduced in 1982 and every year since. It still has not been ratified. But before you judge, let's look at what it really says:

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex. Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article. Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

Back to my war for women. Can't you just hear what's coming next? We girls are just a bunch of angry feminists. We're out to destroy the traditional family. And the big one: man haters.

Even in 2012, there are still those who equate advocacy for women with hatred toward men, as if we're all fighting for the same piece of the pie. I have had a number of female students, in fact, tell me that they are reluctant to come out as feminists for fear of the reaction -- but that when they do, they feel compelled to also mention that they indeed have boyfriends. (Just as I feel compelled to tell you now that I have been married to the same man for decades and that we happily raised two daughters.)

Anyway, we could spend our energy defending ourselves -- and the hundreds of thousands of other women who are openly or secretly feminist. But that would take our time away from the work we still have to do. Which, when you think of it, has been one of the most insidious effects of the Republicans' so-called war on women.

Instead of keeping us busy in the kitchen, they've kept us busy playing defense.

 
 
 

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You know the saying, "the best defense is a good offense?" I'm thinking that instead of expending our energy on the war on women, why don't we wage a war for women? Right? I sometimes wonder if we wo...
You know the saying, "the best defense is a good offense?" I'm thinking that instead of expending our energy on the war on women, why don't we wage a war for women? Right? I sometimes wonder if we wo...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
oldandweird
Sagacious Stranger of Consequence
11:08 AM on 05/29/2012
I'm a little behind in reading the comments here; and it looks like there is still a LOT of anger out there, whether one is a male or female. What perspective one has just depends on one's biology, experiences and upbringing (including ALL societal conditioning.) What if we didn't have to 'fight' to be equal in any way? What if how we have been created as a human, with certain gifts and talents provided through our DNA could be allowed to function correctly? Then each person would not worry about what the other person has or doesn't have. See http://www.jovianarchive.com/ for a way to be who you really are, and drop your conditioning and homogenization and all the anger that has ensnared you...
10:53 PM on 05/25/2012
"Let's take the Equal Rights Amendment, ...to this day has not been ratified because three states apparently found it too, um, radical."

And, no, the ERA did not get the push it needed toward the end of the 10 years, so 3 rejected it. NOT because it was radical, but -- always follow the money -- because the anti-ERA leader grew power as she was paid to wreck the ERA movement.

Well, at least writer offered an opinion on the Equal Rights Amendment while saying she expected nobody to remember it! REMEMBER IT?!!!! Where has she BEEN!

THE ERA IS ALIVE AND WELL IN 7 OF THE UNITED STATES AND IN US CONGRESS!

My National Equal Rights Amendment Alliance alone has 300 000 members. I have worked 18/7 for 12 years for you for free. Reason it's taking so long is not because we're not trying, sleeping on the floor near Florida's capitol and eating in our cars!

If you're female--you are NOT mentioned in the US Constitution. Anywhere. This leaves you out of the contract our Nation has with its people. ERA would fix that. ERA would make sex discrimination A VIOLATION OF THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION!

Connect with us , 2PassERA.org, and our well-earned experience. WE WILL DO THIS,. Do you want to help make history? To get ERA passed?

SandyO@PassERA.org. LET'S CHAT. Sandy Oestreich, founder-pres., National Equal Rights Amendment Alliance; fmr elected official; Prof Emerita..
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
12:00 PM on 05/23/2012
More entitlement, I see.

Here I thought this would be a call for equality and placing women in combat roles. Separate but equal like sports teams, where women do war their way, and let men do war to their better abilities.

No...not girls typing and filing while men do the grunt work.

REAL equality, like putting women exclusively in combat batallions and THEN accomodating their strengths and weaknesses - just as it has always been for men.

Forcing a male pro football team to accept a few women against an opposing all male team would result in chaos for both male and female team members, and certainly NOT win any games. Putting women on their own team, with their own equiptment and accomodations is the only reasonable solution.

Sitting around crying that MEN haven't done enough to accomodate them, and MEN must find a solution women are poleased with hasn't worked out so far, so why go there?

No wonder men don't respect women's imput. When men have problems, they fix them. They don't whine and cry that women don't do enough to fix it for them, they fix it themselves.

You either is or you ain't.
09:10 AM on 05/23/2012
To further illustrate the lunacy surrounding the purported wage gap, let's flip the situation on its head. If right-wingers adopted the left wing's politics of victimhood, entitlement, divisiveness, and envy, if right-wing males were like left-wing females, if the media were an echo chamber of conservative bias, and if universities were ground zero for right-wing indoctrination, one could easily be led to believe there is a very real and systemic pattern of gender discrimination against males. Consider:


•women who have never had a child earn 113 percent of what men earn
•there are some 80 fields where women earn more than men
•about 80 percent of the jobs lost in the recession were lost by men
•males are exponentially more likely to become incarcerated or homeless
•males disproportionately sacrifice much of their prime years in service of the military
•the male-to-female ratio on college campuses is now about 40/60
•approximately 93 percent of workplace fatalities are men
•among unmarried college-educated men and women between 40 and 64, men earn nearly 15 percent less
Given these facts, it wouldn't be very hard to convince a young, apolitical, and impressionable college student, like I was, that all males are helpless victims, would it? Any blind ideologue can nitpick a few facts here and there to fit her agenda, and all anybody can do is debunk one disgusting, unsubstantiated myth at a time. Says Dr. Farrell.
09:03 AM on 05/23/2012
Steven Rhoades, author of the new book, Taking Sex Differences Seriously, cites study after study indicating that the main reason most women want ample family time is their biological drive to have children and be the primary family caregiver. Feminist activists argue that is social conditioning by "the male hegemony." But if that were true, then why do women take on most family caregiving in every society from Iceland to New Guinea, in every era from ancient times to today, and in all political contexts from communist to capitalist? Women's desire to prioritize family caregiving is mainly biological predisposition, not cultural brainwashing.
09:01 AM on 05/23/2012
For starters, the government statistics bellowed by women's groups are not at all credible because they do not take occupational choice into account. After nearly fifteen years of research, Dr. Warren Farrell uncovered numerous reasons for the pay gap. Generally, women value relationships more than their careers or money, enter and leave the work force at a much higher rate, work part-time at a much higher rate, and work in professions with much lower compensation. As he explains in his book, Why Men Earn More, nearly all of it boils down to differences in occupation, and men overwhelmingly dominate jobs that


•are in an unpleasant environment (sanitation vs. child care)
•require harder-to-attain skills (physics vs. philosophy)
•require longer work hours
•demand financial risk (entrepreneur vs. teaching)
•are inconvenient (i.e., relocation)
•are hazardous (construction vs. librarian)
06:09 PM on 05/22/2012
Here we go again with the tired, old, wrong, 77 cents to a dollar. This is untrue and has been proven in study after study. The 77 cents argument disappears when you take hours worked, type of job and productivity into the equation. As for her "Angry Man-Hating Feminists" remarks, she should keep in mind that nothing happens in a vacuum. Unfortunately, there ARE a lot of feminists that fit that description. Not all, but enough to make the cliche stick. Others are more subtle with constant demands for special (services, opportunities, regulations, laws, protections, benefits, etc) just for women. The VAWA is a prime example, so it the protest against Facebook for not having enough women at the top. One point I agree with you on, is the Equal Rights Amendment. Is should be passed. There is no reason not to, and once it has passed, everything else should follow suit, including selective service registration for females, just as it applies to males. No more special privileges for either gender. Where one has all the choices and the other has all the responsibilities.
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aaacs1
Stop oppressing the oppressed.
11:55 PM on 05/22/2012
Do you have verifiable proof for your statements pertaining to the 77 cent argument? Or are you just stating what you suspect.
09:23 AM on 05/23/2012
Do YOU have proof my dear? Or are you just persuaded by anything some feminist tells you is truth?
04:38 PM on 05/22/2012
If feminist and women wanted true equality they would register for selective service
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jacqueline Homan
author and freelance investigative journalist
09:32 PM on 05/22/2012
Men are PAID and given generous benefits for military service. Women conscripted into childbirth chattel slavery against our will get NOTHING, not even a livable income when pregnancy takes us out of the workforce (and in many cases, precludes our re-entry). If women were FAIRLY COMPENSATED for forcible conscription into reproductive chattel enslavement for the irrevocable negative changes to our bodies, the lost wages, the incapacitation and restriction on our physical liberty, the pain, the trauma and the disfigurement that accompanies pregnancy and childbirth (and that is if we survive the ordeal), you MIGHT have an argument. But we're not, so you don't.
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calmly2
Words matter.
11:19 PM on 05/22/2012
Damn good post. Fanned and Faved.
11:49 PM on 05/22/2012
LOL that must be an excuse from the feminist hanbook
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
p c r
Compassionate and Conservative are polar opposites
09:46 PM on 05/22/2012
Many women serve. Selective service does not invoke the draft anymore, so it is a nonissue.
11:46 PM on 05/22/2012
All men by law must still register for the draft. You feminist allways use the same excuse. Men must register for the draft or they go to jail. Women do not have to register. Where is the equality in that?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
12:12 PM on 05/23/2012
Men are fired from jobs for not registering. Men are denied driver's licenses and professional licenses for not registering. No woman EVER has or EVER will.

It's only a "nonissue" if YOU are the Entitlement Princess.

If it were a "non issue" it wouldn't exist.
04:30 PM on 05/22/2012
So many women are hypocrits. Women say they want to be treated equal, but when a female teacher sexualy abuses a boy, women make excuses for her. Most women who committ crimes recieve probation, men recieve long jail sentences. Where are the women demanding equality when a woman recieves house arrest for raping a 12 year old boy. Equality comes in all flavors, why do feminist and Woman's Rights Group pick the equality that taste good?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jacqueline Homan
author and freelance investigative journalist
09:01 PM on 05/22/2012
I call bullshit. Women who suffer miscarriages or stillbirths are incarcerated for "fetal homicide", many are imprisoned for life (like the recent case of Rennie Gibbs of Mississippi). Pregnant women are criminalized when something goes wrong. But the medical establishment, which happily carries out the will of misogynist politicians, never goes after the male co-conceivers when male drug and alcohol users can very well contribute to a negative pregnancy outcome due to defective sperm. Only the woman is arrested and adjudicated and imprisoned for it. When men rape, society makes excuses for them and the vast majority of rapists (which are MALE) never see the inside of a prison cell.
11:51 PM on 05/22/2012
BS. Women who do drugs and alcohol are held acountable. Acountable for ones actions is not in the feminist handbook.
09:40 AM on 05/23/2012
"Pregnant women are criminalized when something goes wrong."

What? Who is criminalizing these women?

"which happily carries out the will of misogynist politicians"

Feminism is driven by politicians as part of population control.

"... the vast majority of rapists (which are MALE) never see the inside of a prison cell."

Ok...now you're just trying to be funny!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
p c r
Compassionate and Conservative are polar opposites
09:49 PM on 05/22/2012
Women do NOT make excuses for pedophiles. I know I am disgusted by it. Females who are charged with statutory rape are often incarcerated. The one pregnant with the 13 year old student's baby was jailed for 8 years.
Do you have actual statistics on the topic, or are you just voicing your personal views?
11:44 PM on 05/22/2012
ROTFLMAO What rock are you living under
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
12:15 PM on 05/23/2012
"Too pretty for prison" has never gotten any man out of prison.

Men are routinely sentenced to 40 years, when the RARE time a woman is imprisoned it's for 8?

Plus the 13 year old kid is being forced to pay child support.
03:49 PM on 05/22/2012
One problem is that far too many people define women's issues solely in terms of abortion. Did you know that many pro-life Democrats (including Bart Stupak) were co-sponsors of the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act?. Why don't you people know about this? Here is the list. I compiled it. http://johnmssite.com/
01:22 AM on 05/20/2012
"...How About a War FOR Women? " - H

How about peace for women and men ?

There is too much war. We've a war on drugs, crime, terror ect. During the great gulf gusher oil leak they spoke of a top kill and a bottom kill. Enough with war already.

PEACE-TIAMO
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carlamariee
Mama told me there'd be days like this
11:41 PM on 05/22/2012
No justice, no peace.
10:12 PM on 05/24/2012
RE: "No justice, no peace." - carlamariee

peace or piece ?

PEACE-TIAMO
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aaacs1
Stop oppressing the oppressed.
11:59 PM on 05/22/2012
It will never happen. It is all about control. Men want to keep it and women fight it.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Yellowcab
100 % Cotton
12:17 PM on 05/23/2012
Men want to keep it, women want to take it.

Women like power and control just as much as men, don't they?
05:49 PM on 05/19/2012
The problem with feminism is that women don't come off as fighting for equal rights, they come off as trying to takeover the world. Personally, I see a future where women rule everything, including presidency. Why? Because in our society men are the enemy, even by other men. Not to mention, every commercial, movie, tv show, magazine, etc shows a woman kicking some guy's ass at whatever they are showing whether it's physically or mentally. You women have every industry pushing for you to succeed and you still whine about how your not being treated fairly. If you don't believe me look at pretty much every commercial, tv show, movie, or anything where a man and woman are fighting and watch the woman kick the guy's ass.

The ratios you show about pay I think are not based on women not being treated equal. It's because the men in those positions had a head start. They took those positions when there was no women's rights. Now women are in an equal position and moving up fast because of hopefully hard work and intelligence. I'm having the same issue on moving up and you know what? It takes time and hard work! It has nothing to do with making more laws!

Stop whining, place yourself in the workforce and sit there for 40 years like the rest of us trying to get ahead, and do a good job.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
p c r
Compassionate and Conservative are polar opposites
09:57 PM on 05/22/2012
Bull! When I graduated nursing school, the males I graduated with hired by the same hospital for the same job description were paid a quarter more on the hour. This was in the 1980's, and minimum wage was less than $3 an hour. When I asked, I was told the males needed more money to support their families, although none were married and I was the sole income supporting myself and my daughter after I divorced a husband who became physically abusive.
They also said that the males could lift more, although there was no lifting involved except assisting patients which all of us did, whether male or female.
The males also scored lower than I did in class and on boards.

We have been in the workforce since the late 1960's trying, but the laws have not been in our favor and we have been forced to take what we can get because there has been no recourse. Read Lily Ledbetter's story.
You have no idea what you are talking about. You are spewing typical GOP propaganda and have no experiences with the problem.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WWZander
Where were you the day the Music died?
04:48 PM on 05/19/2012
I love womens rights, because so many women are hypocrits! Women say they want to be treated equal, yet they also want men to treat them like "women", um NO, sorry, you don't get both, only spoiled children do! Either your equal to us, and that case you get treated like one of the guys, or you get treated like a lady!

I am sick of women crying about their rights in one hand, but demanding to be treated like a woman in the other hand!

An I know how much it stinks for women to not have rights! I watched as my step father would brutally beat my mother, but the laws weren't there to protect her! She was one of the women who was so battered in Conn. she got laws changed! A lot has changed since the 1970s, and for the better!

Truth be told, I am sick of opening your door, or letting you walk in first, and all that other stuff that "gentlemen" do for their ladies, when so many women seem to feel men mistreat them. Tell you bra burners this, how about you start getting the door for me, and letting me walk in first, etc etc etc!

LOL, my wife of 17 years always rolls her eyes at me when I get started on this, she knows I will always be her "gentleman", but she also feels I have valid points!
07:05 PM on 05/19/2012
You confuse matters of law, civil rights, and equality with social pleasantries. There is no law that says you have to hold a door for a woman...so if you choose to be a gentleman, then that's your thing. Women are called man haters if they so much as bring up the inequalities and disparities that exist between the genders. I submit that we need to look at eh males as women haters if they deny that their is no problem. And your use of the term bra burners dates you pretty well. Might have to explain this to some of the readers under the age of 50.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WWZander
Where were you the day the Music died?
07:36 PM on 05/19/2012
Actually, I am 41, I just know a think or two about history!

Definition of EQUALITY
1: the quality or state of being equal

I am more then happy to treat women like one of the guys!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
WWZander
Where were you the day the Music died?
07:56 PM on 05/19/2012
I know most women don't hate men, world would be a cold lonely place if they did. However, there are a lot of us men who are tired of being labeled for something we aren't! An lets face it, the womans real enemy are the politicians who won't push for change! There are a lot of men who are more then happy to help the fight. Stop alienating those of us who would gladly throw in with you!
foresure
Brash and Harsh
08:51 PM on 05/19/2012
WWZander:

Are you unaware that women are in a "constlitutionally protected class", that includes the lame, the halt, the infirm and disabled.

What better example of a feminist "level playing field". Males go into combat when so ordered, women are "entitled to go into combat" when they choose.

When they've enough of the military life, they can be release by showing they are pregnant.

It is not a matter of etiquette, it is matter of constitutional law.
12:43 AM on 05/20/2012
Getting pregnant doesn't get you out of the military. It does get you pulled off of deployment, but that's it. You will still have to serve out whatever remains of your obligated service.

I support changing the rules so that they are part of the selective service as well. Women are perfectly well suited to performing any number of roles in the military, be it support or front line (hell, I know a number of women I'd rather have at my side in a firefight than some of the guys I know, they're much better shots).
frbridge
In all things acknowledge Him
04:08 PM on 05/19/2012
Drop the word "war" from all dialogue when it comes to women. As long as it is made a "war," ppl are going to be taking sides, real or not.

Change the tone, and you will change the dialogue and perhaps even effect greater change. Make it about something positive. Make it about respect for women, and everyone is in the game, on the same team, with the same goal.
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goatini
We are two-legged wombs, that’s all
11:37 PM on 05/21/2012
Oh, that's rich, from someone who thinks that the highest "goal" a female can achieve is to do what livestock can do.
12:41 PM on 05/19/2012
I'm tired of seeing this 77 cent vs 1.00 figure that people keep throwing up. It really doesn't mean much. You would need to analyze how much longer men are in the work force, what types of jobs are both men and women doing and how many hours a week do men work as opposed to women. If a woman has worked in the same job, the same length of time and put in the same hours as a man and still doesn't get the same pay, then you have a valid issue.
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05:07 PM on 05/19/2012
If you ever got "tired of it" enough to actually investigate, you'll find that the 77c/$1.00 figure is AFTER ADJUSTING FOR NUMBER OF YEARS (and even hours) actually working DOING THE SAME JOB.
07:29 PM on 05/19/2012
I've never seen that, where's your proof.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
OCerInTN
Hoplophobics worst nightmare.
09:01 PM on 05/19/2012
Women rarely do the same work as men. They may have the same job with the same job description, but a man will do most of the work and the woman will skirt by.
07:07 PM on 05/19/2012
what do you think the Lily Ledbetter case was all about?
07:42 PM on 05/19/2012
Lilly Ledbetter law was about loosening the time limits on pay discrimination suits. That was only one case, where is the evidence that it's persuasive?