05/15/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Palin Wants Senator ''Naughty Monkey''

Grab a Red Bull and a seat belt. Prepare yourselves for another episode of ERRATIC PALIN BEHAVIOR. (EPB)

Governor Gump has some sort of party dyslexia when it comes to appointing a replacement to the seat vacated by Democrat Kim Elton. I saw the former Senator in Anchorage this morning. He's traveling with his new boss, Interior Secretary Ken Salazar. I damn near begged him to come back to Juneau, but knew it was no use. Kim Elton hates drama.

The procedure is this:

1. The party officials in the district of the vacated seat GIVE THE GOVERNOR SEVERAL NAMES.

2. The governor selects one of the names.

3. The Senators of the party with the open seat vote on confirming the new Senator.

4. TA DA! A NEW SENATOR! Fabulous!

WHAT has happened to Sarah? Seriously. Update? New to this?

1. The Juneau Dems gave the governor one name. Beth Kerttula. Beth is not on Sarah's Christmas card, Sarah said no.

2. The governor solicited names from the community...and picked Tim Grussendorf (a Democrat for only three weeks).

3. Senate Dems REJECTED him.

4. The governor then decided she wanted the entire Senate-Republicans and Democrats-to vote on his appointment...they all said, "Thanks, but no thanks!"

5. The governor then picked Joe Nelson....

6. Again....REJECTED.

7. The Mayor of Juneau, Bruce Botelho, brokered a deal to nominate Dennis Egan...son of our first Governor. John Harris-R, former Speaker of the House and Beth Kerttula-D, Minority Leader, supported the nomination.

8. Today, the governor has ignored THE COMPROMISE of Egan, and BURNED THE OLIVE BRANCH RIGHT ON THE TREE.

9. She has given THREE NAMES to the Senate Dems and demanded they confirm one. They include Tim Grussendorf and Joe Nelson...two fish already thrown back.

One new name is Alan Wilson. He is not a registered Democrat - so he isn't even qualified to serve as an officer for the Juneau Democrats, much less a senator. He is a former president of the Alaska State Home Building Association, an anti-union organization.

According to APOC (Alaska Public Offices Commission), Wilson has contributed exactly twice to political campaigns. In 2006, he gave $50 to Republican Candidate Sarah Palin. In 2008, Wilson donated $50 to Republican Cathy Munoz in a contentious race against incumbent Democrat Andrea Doll. Munoz won. So score that:

Republican Contributions: 2

Democratic Contributions: 0

And Alan Wilson wants to be Sarah Palin's pick for Kim Elton's seat. This is EPB in classic form.

But ooooh, lookie, he is married to Sydney Mitchell, the owner of Shoefly. Yes, the one who sold the Governor a pair of red Double Dare Naughty Monkey pumps that had "Joe the Plumbers" panting and sweating from Florida to Fairbanks.

SOOOOOoooooo, Juneau....are you ready to revolt yet? Why don't you line up like NAUGHTY MONKEYS and let the governor know what you think of her latest pick.

Dictatorships are easier than Democracies, but we've fought a few wars over that.

As the song goes, "Shoe fly, don't bother me."

******This just in: The Alaska Senate Dems have refused to vote on any of the three names submitted by Palin. A legal opinion this morning sai it is illegal for Palin to submit more than one name.

Senate Judiciary Chairman Hollis French, an Anchorage Democrat. "There is nothing for us to vote on, there is no appointment. The governor has taken an unusual course which is outside the law and leaves us no choice but to ignore what she's done." Ahh, Dems with a SPINE!

Palin's appointed Attorney General, Wayne Anthony Ross said "It seems to me the most important thing that can be done by the Senate is not argue with legal or illegal but to appoint somebody to represent Juneau..."

REALLY...SO JUST ACT - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT BEING LEGAL OR NOT??? Tomorrow the Alaska legislature votes on W.A.R.'s confirmation. VOTE NO ON WAR!