Stupak's Flaccid Amendment Needs No Viagra
Americans Against Chafing (A.A.C.) Unite!
Oh, yes, it's time. With the House passing a health care bill with the Stupak Amendment, we really need to start talking about this. The political cross-dressers, also known as "Blue Dogs" not only authored, but voted for the Uterus Police.
The Stupak Amendment insures that no federal funds, or federally-funded insurance companies, would be used for abortions.
On Saturday night, 21 of the 39 Democrats who voted for Stupak then proceeded to vote against the Health Care bill. One-hundred seventy-five Republicans voted for the amendment but against the bill. How about this: If your vote attaches an amendment to a bill you won't vote for, that nullifies your amendment vote. I know, it's the rules...but it feels like someone just ordered an entrée for me from a restaurant I don't like and now, not only am I forced to eat it-I'm stuck with the bill! Thanks, but no thanks...it's making me bulimic.
Hallelujah, the bill is out of the House.
Moving right along, I need a Senator to step up for the Americans Against Chaffing (AAC) Amendment. (If you've ever been chafed, you'll understand the acronym.) Since Congress has decided to balloon government to exert rule over the uteruses of its citizens, maybe they need to think about where all those precious feti are coming from. What's good for the womb is good for the wiener. Do you hear the sweet, lilting strains of "Every Sperm is Sacred" yet?
You may have seen the ads on TV. America has worked hard to overcome its withering epidemic of erectile dysfunction. Apparently, a blue pill and side-by-side bathtubs help. Every pregnancy, wanted or unwanted, is a direct result of a man rising to the occasion and saluting his power over gravity. My God, think about how many federally-funded doctors' appointments are needed when "an erection lasts for more than four hours"! How many unwanted pregnancies could be prevented?
Here lies the problem and need for "reform". The government pays for E.D. medicines and treatments. There is a chance their "cure" will result in an unwanted pregnancy, and we just can't take that chance! Federal money to stiffen the manly morale, but no funding to pay for an abortion if the woman so chooses? We have to nip this in the pud! The same members of Congress who voted against the financial stimulus package would be hard pressed to vote against the stimulating more local packages.
The suggestion coming out of Washington is for women to buy supplemental insurance to cover an unwanted pregnancy. Really? Should the other gender do the same? Should the American people pay for personal erector sets? Shouldn't E.D. medications be considered an out of pocket expense? To use their language, erections have consequences.
While the US Senate is massaging the AAC Amendment, the great State of Oklahoma should take notes. You see, Senator Todd Lamb penned a spiffy little bill
requiring abortion providers fill out a 10-page questionnaire for each procedure, and then post details of abortions on a public website.
Hmmm...Maybe pharmacists and doctors ought to post E.D. prescription recipients and the coathangerreasons for required doses? After all, I understand abstinence education may confuse some people; it takes two to create an unwanted or wanted pregnancy.
I'm sure the E.D. challenges we hear about more often than swine flu are serious, personal and deserve treatment with or without federal funds. Why are the rights of women different? If it was "Christian" (read X-ian) values that prodded you to vote for the Stupak amendment and not the health care bill...I'd like to remind you, none of the messages of Christ were about abortion, but most of the miracles were about HEALING THE SICK!
As for Congressman Stupak and your "C Street Family Fraternity"; some advice: if you don't have a vagina, perhaps you ought not to write or vote for such an invasive and offensive amendment. You're from the wrong district.
Follow Shannyn Moore on Twitter: www.twitter.com/shannynmoore
Nancy L. Cohen: 10 Reasons Why the Stupak-Pitts Amendment Has to Go
Even if some Democrats who voted for the amendment did so because of deep convictions, the main thrust of the measure is to condemn women for being sexually active.
Geoffrey R. Stone: Church and State in JFK's America
Whatever happened to the America that JFK believed in? The America in which "no religious body seeks to impose its will directly or indirectly upon the general populace or the public acts of its officials"?
Loading comments…
Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to
Great piece (I linked to it on my own blog). Here's my further elucidation (in verse), in which I draw an analogy to the deer that jumped into the lions' den in DC last week:
The frightened deer probably didn’t know
Exactly where she was trying to go.
In fear of the crowd she jumped over a wall
And into a moat full of water did fall.
She must have realized it was a mistake when
She saw she’d jumped into two lions’ den.
She was caught, escaped, then was caught again,
But managed (barely) to get away in the end.
The crowd cheered her on in that unequal contest
With shouts of “go, go, go” at her addressed.
We Americans like to root for the underdog, you know
(Or in this case, the under-doe).
Similarly, the healthcare bill made its way through the House,
Trying to survive a game of political cat and mouse,
Pursued by powerful opponents used to getting their way
With a lobbying budget of $1.4 million per day.
Like the deer, the bill sprinted towards safety--
It looked like it would make it (if only barely).
But it too was mauled (by Republicans and Blue Dog Dems)
In a way that the bill (possibly) to death condemns.
(Had to cut it short due to legth limit, so read the rest at http://newsericks.com/into-the-lions-den/. Please comment on whether you think it's any good.)
Included in the Stupak amendment should also be the ban of government funding for therapies for erectile dysfunction.
Medication for ED is a multibillion dollar industry and banning government funding for erections could save taxpayers millions of dollars.
If women are forced to pay out of pocket for a situation they hate to be in, then men should also be forced pay out of pocket for the drug that helps (the men) get them there.
Hilarious, and at the same time not at all funny.
"Conservatives: just the people you want in charge of your sex life."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/13/glenn-beck-parodies-of-al_n_355872.html?page=2&show_comment_id=34451755&slidenumber=bO155UxyHP8%3D
[WARNING: this video refers to Glenn Beck in ways likely to cause nausea and revulsion in sane people]
Well stated!
you are my favorite...always right on target!!!
Wonderful article Shannyn! Do you give me permission to translate it to Spanish and post it in my wall in Facebook?
See Shannyn Moore's Profile
Le invitamos a colocarlo donde quieras. Gracias por preguntar!
It's should be henceforth and forever more be known as the Stunad amendment.
Look it up.
Shannyn, we should elect YOU to public office. Only sensible voice in the crowd.
Excellent, Shannyn! When will women realize that this is another attempt by men to keep us subservient and powerless? We have the numbers if we could just get together on these issues. If that day ever comes, look out! When I can tell a man what to do with his body, that's the day he'll control mine. Ask John Bobbitt how that feels!
49% of women call themselves "pro-life," 44% "pro-choice."
http://www.gallup.com/poll/118399/more-americans-pro-life-than-pro-choice-first-time.aspx
Hi Shannyn,
I think you've hit on the solution.
Hmmm...Maybe pharmacists and doctors ought to post E.D. prescription recipients and the coathangerreasons for required doses?
I'm amazed and appalled that men are willing to create laws that do nothing but protect male ego and then create laws that do nothing but remove women's civil rights. I'm not turning in my man card but the wusses who pull this crap ought to.
great post,
little brother
And there's this, from today's headlines at Democracy Now:
Study: Unsafe Abortions Burdening Developing Nations
A new study says unsafe abortions are putting an additional financial burden on struggling health systems in Africa and Latin America. The Guttmacher Institute says the treatment of complications from unsafe abortions results in up to $280 million in extra costs each year.
Yes, let's move even closer to becoming a third-world country, with Stupak & the the C street gang leading the way!
PS: add the Catholic Church to that, too!
I stand by my alternate plan for the Stupak Amendment as well:
MEN MUST BE STERILIZED UNTIL THEY CAN PROVE THEY CAN SUPPORT A CHILD FOR 18 YEARS, THIS SHOULD BE CHECKED ANNUALLY.
Maybe some of us are smart enough not to cause problems?
HOW ABOUT THE RETURN OF CHASTITY BELTS, BEING THAT WOMEN CAN'T SAY NO?
Sure Son.
That would solve the problem. Women cause it all. TAKE AWAY THE VIAGRA.
Shannyn, great article. I wish I could expressed my thoughts as well as you have done on this subject.
As my Grandmother, born in Texas in 1912, says,
IF MEN COULD GET PREGNANT, ABORTIoNS WOULD BE FREE.
I could go on and tell the story she told me of an abortion in 1935.
I can tell my own stories of my friends from before 1973.
MEN GET NO VOTE.
Also, I am really sick of the ED commercials. If you have a problem, take it up with your doctor, we do not need two bathrubs (still don't get the bathtub thingy) to fix your problem.
Maybe it could be the liquor, hypertension, old age, being fat, being stupid, who knows>
The STUPID C STREET AMENDMENT WILL NOT STAND.
I want REAL HEALTHCARE FOR EVERYONE, SINGLE PAYOR.
49% of women call themselves "pro-life," 44% "pro-choice."
http://www.gallup.com/poll/118399/more-americans-pro-life-than-pro-choice-first-time.aspx
ANTI-CHOICE oir PRO-CHOICE.
No such thing as pro-life when talking abortion or death penalty. Get it?
That's funny...100% of my girlfriends are pro-choice, even if they personally would not have an abortion. Really, I don't know of even one woman who is anti-choice.
Great post ... I laughed, I cried, I agreed!
An individual life begins and ends at breath, not conception. I'll be glad for the day the law catches up with reality. If the law really reflected "god's way or the highway" there wouldn't be any medical intervention for anything. Get an infection? Bye-bye, Jesus is calling you home.
You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with
