A Case Of Mistaken Identity?

I never run into people I know in LA. My ex boyfriend lived three blocks away from me for over a year and never, not once, did I run into him. This is so different from New York where I sneeze and inevitably bump into someone to whom I owe a phone call, or money.

All that changed for me last week. Everywhere I went I ran into someone I knew. I ran into my friends Joe and John at the Grove Mall, as an isolated incident not strange at all. Immediately following at The Alcove coffee shop on Hillhurst, I spied my old acting teacher I haven't seen in years. Then at Barnes and Noble I saw a woman named Missy I know from Naked Angels theatre group in New York, then a guy named Charlie who's a friend of my good friend Mather in line at Vons Market, then at the Shell gas station this guy Chris I used to cater with and the list goes on. It was every single place I went for two weeks, the Wamu Bank= Betsy from NY, Pinkberry= my friend Melony from the Hollywood "Y", the pet store= my friend Jimmy I did a TV show with in the 90's. No joke! OK, now it's officially weird.

Even more bizarre were the people who thought they knew me. Now, I am an actress and occasionally get recognized for my work, but I'm not on a TV series... yet. Was there a picture of me on America's Most Wanted? People would stop me as I walked out of stores, "Excuse me, you look so familiar. Do I know you?" The answer was always 'no'.

I ran home to see if any of my movies were running on TV. Sadly, the answer was 'no' there too. I do not have "one of those faces" that look like a lot of other people. That' s not an ego statement, it's just the truth. Believe me, if I did I'd probably work more as an actress.

What was happening was other wordly. Someone even grabbed my arm when I was buying a soda at 7-11, smiling at me while saying a friendly, 'HEEEyyyyy!" and I had NO idea who they were.

I am not a believer in coincidence. This was happening for a reason. Maybe I needed to use this to my advantage? But how?

A month ago I stopped seeing a man who I had a deep connection with. When he held me it felt familiar, yet it had never happened before. I wanted to take up residence in the curve of his neck. I mean, I've had great sex this summer when I went to New York, and met a couple pretty exceptional men this past year, but he is hands down, possibly the sweetest man I have ever been with. When I looked into his eyes I saw something I haven't seen, in a long long time. I saw a beautiful soul. The connection felt very "past lives-esque" (which I believe is also a new flavor of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream). It was clear, mutual, and lovely. Unfortunately this remarkable man was also so not ready for me. He began to sabotage the relationship from going any further and I stepped aside before anyone got hurt and we still really liked each other. I left him with the thought that when he was ready, willing and open to seeing if this could go somewhere, to please call me. I really hope he calls and I really hope I'm available when and if he does. Hey, I'm not answering the door in a wedding dress, but when it's 'on' like that, settling for less is cheating us both. Old wounds really do teach you something.

I was a large, strong black woman on the phone that day, (September 3rd, but whose counting) and have since deteriorated into the 5 foot tall, white, irresolute Jewess I am in my private moments of self doubt and weakness. This is ironic because along with many other superlative adjectives he described me as, 'confident' is the one I remember... besides 'hot'.

That said, he lives around the corner from Whole Foods in West Hollywood so I began to discover myself there frequently which was not cheap. I can't leave that place for under $20 and all I went in for was a Coconut water and a wheat free muffin.

I am hoping my magical powers of recognition will most certainly manifest this man and when he sees me he'll realize how much he's missed me and it will all click and we'll go to a movie and hang out and it'll be nothin' but lovin', BBQing and dancing in the backyard. Which happened by the way. Slow dancing under the stars among two cats and grilled pork ribs. Oh yeah, the man can cook! Does it get better, I ask you?

Alas, I've been going out of my way and now consciously driving to West Hollywood for Coconut Water (the stuff IS addictive) and no sight of him. I know it's because I'm looking. In the past two weeks I've had 20 Coconut Waters and countless wheat free muffins, not to mention a ton of the fattening tuna pasta salad. I'm now constipated. I've also gained two pounds quietly knoshing on maple coated almonds whilst trolling the aisles slowly in hopes of a "surprise" run in.

Then it hit me while purchasing a bottle of 6.99 Sangiovese, (really good cheap wine, by the way) that this is a step away from stalking. It's also not trusting in the Universe or having faith in the fact that the way things are right now are perfect, and my personal fave "whatever's meant to be, will be". It's definately not listening to my heart or even his words that this is the best way to proceed right now "in order have the best possible outcome".

Maybe that's why I keep running into people I know. Maybe they're reminding me that we are all connected, even when we're not aware of it. We already all know each other in some way, or on some other plane of awareness because we are all mirrors. People who think they know me, really do, even though we've not met before. I do believe that when our hearts are open, we can see our reflections in the eyes of others.

That, and maybe Brothers' Mc Mullen's playing on IFC.

Comments

[monstabunny]

Shari, hello to you too! Of course I remember you, playing Tweety in that short of mine. You and cold ravioli, now there was a perfect pairing...LOL x Sarah

[jeskiley]

You cracked my heart right open and split my sides in two. Well done!

[mommadona]

Thanks for sharing that.

I've always liked the phrase,

"Change is inevitable,
Growth is optional."