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Sharon Zarozny

Sharon Zarozny

Posted: March 4, 2011 03:06 AM

If you have kids, you know the car is where all great conversations happen. Once upon a time, my husband's mistress unexpectedly showed up at our doorstep with a toddler in the car. As you might guess, a slightly emotional scene occurred.

The next day, as my daughters and I were heading out for ice cream, my 6 year-old asked:

Mommy, is Connie's son Daddy's too?

My heart stopped. I'd been dreading the day that question was asked. Inwardly I was still raw from the news myself and furious that I, not my husband, had to deal with the big question. I'd been scouring books, unsuccessfully, to learn the best way to handle the inevitable. The closest I came to an answer was that mental health experts deemed family secrets a huge, unhealthy burden for families, and that kids instinctively know the truth.

So, with all the non-judgmental feelings I could muster, I answered "Yes." My heart was pounding, dreading the questions to follow and wondering if I'd just ruined her life.

After a moment my daughter simply grumbled, "That's not fair, I don't want to share any of my things with him." My 3 year-old, excitedly kicking her car seat, chimed in "Me too!"

I couldn't have agreed more.

Sometimes, life throws us curves bigger than we could ever dream up on our own. I remember when I first tearfully told my hairstylist the "baby news" she gasped, "Oh, my God, that's a woman's worst nightmare." It was mine, second only to my marathon journey through the family law system.

Affairs happen. I knew that. But, how do you move on when your husband and his mistress (a woman who's been to your kid's soccer games and a guest in your home) present you with the reality of a love child?

There's a whole new world to consider. The mistress told me she couldn't wait to see my daughters excitement when they met their new baby brother. When I pointed out my little ones still thought babies came by stork and only to mommy and daddy she went silent.

I was shocked by how painful it was to be cheated on. I cried for a year straight about how the baby had destroyed the idyllic family I'd worked so hard to create. Movies glamorize affairs and leave us sobbing for the poor married one who must abandon his/her lover to return to the drudgery of married life. Movies don't show the effect on the spouse and kids. It's ugly.

As often happens, the mistress went to great lengths to make it clear to me that she was my husband's true love. She sent me pictures, via certified mail, of the two of them and yes, the three of them. She called me frequently acting as my "best friend" kindly explaining that I was the reason my husband was so unhappy. When I'd disagree, she'd scowl, "How can you keep being such bad role model for your daughters by staying with a man who doesn't love you?"

Of course afterwords, I'd run all of her words by my husband. He'd shake his head and say, "She's crazy, she just wants my money." He'd go on to say he had absolutely nothing to do with her, it was a one-time mistake, and he loved only me.

I offered to raise the child as our own, because it wasn't the baby's fault and, according to my husband, the mistress didn't care about the baby. Neither of them took me up on it. In the end the mistress got my husband, his money and legitimacy, while I got a divorce decree that my surgeon ex didn't uphold.

As my daughters grew older I cringed whenever they needed to do a family tree or timeline. The day a little friend asked my daughter "How come your dad's never home?" and she responded, "Well, my dad had a baby with Connie and that's where he lives now because it made my mom cry" I sat my girls down for another difficult conversation. I explained that some things were only to be shared with family and very, very close friends. I didn't tell them I was worried once word got out my daughters might suffer because some parents might think "we came from the wrong side of the track."

Why am I sharing my story? First off, my daughters are now grown. Second, if you are thinking of having an affair remember you too could end up with a bundle of joy that ruins your family. But most importantly, if you have experienced a "surprise" such as mine, I hope you now feel less alone.

If you'd like to share your story with me and how you dealt with it, I'd be honored. You can email me (it's confidential) or leave a comment below. I'm collecting our wisdom to help others...

 

Follow Sharon Zarozny on Twitter: www.twitter.com/brilliantexits

 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ambrecel
10:03 AM on 03/07/2011
Your story is very sad.
07:17 AM on 03/06/2011
It is sad that you had to experience those years of trauma. For myself, I think it's a great burden to put "secret-keeping" on children. Don't let what other people think control your life. They'll think whatever it is they want anyway. Let your children know early on that you cannot live with each other anymore and that it's called a "divorce." Period. Assure them that it has nothing to do with anything they did and that you will take care of them. If a baby is involved, the child is not part of your family, it is part of his. When they get older your children can decide for themselves if they want to establish a relationship. If the mistress is a friend, break all contact or you'll be leaving yourself open to harrassment. Recognize that she does not have you or your children's best interests at heart.
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Sharon Zarozny
04:56 PM on 03/06/2011
So true that "secret-keeping" is a huge burden for the entire family. Like the way you say "Let your children know early on that you cannot live with each other anymore and that it's called a "divorce." A perfect, simple clear way to put it!
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Widespread Panic
does anyone really care??
11:09 PM on 03/05/2011
Yikes! What a terrible situation. My immediate response was to kick him to the curb and run. But I know that's not always easy. I have a friend that has dealt with affairs (she also had an affair) & emotional and physical abuse in her marriage. The affairs and abuse stopped about 6 or 7 years ago and she stayed with him. She has put her all into making her marriage work, but her husband is not able to move past her affair (she cheated first, but he was abusing her from the beginning). So he's emotionally unstable - very passive/aggressive, loving/distant depending on his mood. But she hangs in there and gives it her all. I don't think I would have the strength to do it, I'm one of those that has trouble forgiving but mostly forgetting. I always tell her she's more woman than I ever could be cause I think I would've taken my kids and hit the road a long time ago.

I'm sorry for your situation, but I applaud you for dealing with it and raising your girls on your own.
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Sharon Zarozny
04:58 PM on 03/06/2011
Thanks. My heart goes out to your friend who's not had an easy time of it. It's amazing how love can be so wonderful and horrible at the same time.
01:49 PM on 03/05/2011
This could have been written by my sister-in-law. My brother had an affair with a woman 15 years his junior and, yep, along came a (very adorable, but still) baby girl. He had two children, 5 and 9, with his wife. There ensued one of the most awful divorces I've ever seen and the two oldest kids have suffered every step of the way.

Sharon, it sounds like you have met this tragedy with grace and dignity. Unfortunately, my sister-in-law, and I sure as heck don't blame her, has not. She has been angry and violent and she has taken every opportunity to tell her two children that "daddy has ruined their lives and so they can never be happy." The 9-year-old stays with my parents, his grandparents, many nights because he can no longer stand to "hear mommy cry all night." My parents are in their 70s and basically raising two young kids. In addition, they are so stunned and deeply saddened by their son's affair, that I'm not sure they will ever get over it. One thing I would add to your "wisdom" collection is the great toll a situation like this takes on the extended family, especially grandparents.

My brother, by the way, has not decided yet if he is going to marry the woman who had his baby. Thanks for your column.
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Sharon Zarozny
05:44 PM on 03/05/2011
I so feel for your sister-in-law. The pain is so great that I too cried for what seemed like at least a year... whenever my kids weren't around. It took a very long time for the pain to lessen, but gradually it did.

I knew the mistress' mom quite well and she was totally devastated by what her daughter did and I was told she never really got over it. My heart goes out to your parents.

Again, while the child will never go away, time does heal. I'm happy to talk with your sister-in-law if that would help. You or she can email me at sharon@brilliantexits.com.

Your love and patience is the best gift you can give your family right now.

Take Care,
Sharon
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Erinaleks
Architectural Artisan, Free Thinker
01:08 PM on 03/05/2011
it never ceases to surprise me the sleaziness
I read on this board. I've been through a lot.
Two failed marriages. Still, a Doctor who gets his
Girl friend pregnant, stays with his wife, then
Dumps her. Human nature is at it's worst when marriage is involved
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Sharon Zarozny
05:48 PM on 03/05/2011
Someone once told me marriage is like playing the lottery. Some people win, but you never know what your getting until it's too late.

I think marriage can be wonderful, I just got a losing ticket.
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Erinaleks
Architectural Artisan, Free Thinker
12:49 PM on 03/05/2011
There is no emotional pain quite like finding out your spouse
Has been sleeping with someone else. Unless you have had it happen
To you , you will never understand. It's like the death of a loved one
Filled with every emotion hypersensitive. Lasts for a long time.
Jades your perspective of trust.
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Sharon Zarozny
05:52 PM on 03/05/2011
So true. I remember thinking it would have been easier if I'd just been widowed. Instead, I felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart and my 2bx just kept slowly turning the knife. And yes, it becomes so hard to trust again.
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tomteboda
06:52 AM on 03/06/2011
Divorce is a living death. Your love is dead but its so hard to grieve it properly because the person you loved (and often still do) is walking around, talking, taunting you into denying that the relationship you had is over and will never come back.
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PTAOfficerforObama
A micro bio is a terrrible thing to waste.
11:27 AM on 03/05/2011
Thank you for your article. It sounds like you went through a rough time and came out of it the better person. I am amazed at all of the people who said "I would have..." or "I never would have..." It is amazing how even the happiest of marriages have a rough patch. My husband and I had one after our first child. He was having trouble with the new dynamic and at the same time mentoring a younger girl with stars in her eyes. It never went to an affair, but she wanted it to and he thought about it. He was honest about his thoughts and I took my child to my parents so that he could decide what he wanted. He called the next day and said he would be flying out on the weekend for a mini vacation and some time for us. That was 26 years ago. He has told me many times he was so glad he did not make that mistake. I am too :-)
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Sharon Zarozny
05:56 PM on 03/05/2011
So happy things turned out well for you. There are a lot of great books written about affairs and the consensus seems to be that it's the illicit feature that makes affairs work. The majority of people who marry their affair partner aren't happy at all.

Sounds like your husband did all the right things and has until this day. You must be a wonderful person!
09:53 PM on 03/04/2011
The 'gotta leave when this or that happens' attitude is so destructive. Marriages can recover after bad things happen. There are not 'deal-breaker' behaviors leading to divorce. Women need to know that being alone after a certain age is hard, very hard. The odds of a woman remarrying after 27 drop each year. OKcupid has real data on their public blog showing that 27 is the most sought after age for a woman, and 38 is the age when more woman are available than men looking for a woman that age. Go above 38, and the odds are against a woman re-marrying.

Does any of this matter? Yes! Marriage is the best way to build wealth, secure a retirement (without burdening kids), and increasing the likelihood of a safer environment for children.
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12:50 AM on 03/05/2011
What? Adultery IS a deal breaker. No spouse should have to put up with a cheater, an abuser or an addict. I suppose people stay in awful situations because they don't like being alone. The best thing for a woman, whether she's 27, 47 or 57 years old is an education. Companionship & marriage are just icing on the cake.
08:34 AM on 03/05/2011
For you.  A lot of couples recover from that, and the situation isn't repeated.

It seriously depends on other factors.
10:57 AM on 03/05/2011
Agreed, indigoivy!
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kerriberri
Let's Obviate Obfuscation!
07:36 AM on 03/05/2011
Speechless. I think your moral compass got scrambled somewhere.
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09:52 PM on 03/04/2011
Why did you allow your husband's mistress to "call you frequently" and send you photos in the mail? Why did you allow her to insult and hurt you? And why did you keep talking to her? Sounds like you went too far with "enabling" your cheating husband? I did some of that myself, but never again will I be a "co-dependent" in any relationship.
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littlefairy
One little fairy against the world
12:11 PM on 03/05/2011
Wow, Theda, I hear you, BUT. But I imagine shame and chastisement--even if well-meaning--is not helpful. Most of us take a while to get wiser about boundaries. When we are in the middle of such trauma, we aren't necessarily able to do a lot of self-protection and care. I am glad you have learned the lesson--I have, too--but let's be more gentle with anyone who does these things. Compassion is more healing--and helps the person stop destructive behaviors perhaps---than pity or condemnation.
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Sharon Zarozny
06:20 PM on 03/05/2011
Mistresses have a mind of their own and, believe it or not can be motivated by jealous rage against the wife. Yes, by getting into therapy I did learn I was "co-dependent" and through hard work learned to set boundaries. But also, as littlefairy says, when you are in the middle of such trauma you really need time to figure everything out.
09:09 PM on 03/04/2011
My 2 cents as a child of a cheating parent. My mother cheated on my dad and thought that I didn't know it because I was about 7 when I realized it. It was really awful for me to see my dad every day knowing how he was being treated but I wasn't able to tell him anything because the thought of being the person to hurt him by delivering the news was horrifying.

To this day my mother acts like nothing happened, even after she abandoned her children for another man she was cheating with. I can't say there haven't been times when I wished my mother would have just disappeared so I wouldn't have to live with the burden of looking at her lying face.

When a father or mother cheats, they also cheat on their children and I don't think they ever see things that way, how damaging their selfishness is to the children too.
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Sharon Zarozny
08:47 AM on 03/05/2011
So true. That is the message I hope cheaters (and people considering cheating) take away from all this. The kids also feel betrayed and that is horribly painful. Your mom sounds so like my kids dad who doesn't see how damaging his selfishness is to his daughters. He's protected by his "entitlement" attitude which is untouchable...

Sounds like you found a way to overcome a difficult situation. Any advice to share for kids going through this? You can email me at sharon@brilliantexits.com or comment below. Hope you will!
11:49 AM on 03/05/2011
Most people in a happy marriage don't cheat. The husband or wife is not "married" to their kids, therefore you cannot cheat or divorce your kids. People need to realize not all marriages are meant to be, not all marriages are happy ones, not all marriages will endure. If you're truly miserable in a marriage get out, then get happy.
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Sharon Zarozny
06:28 PM on 03/05/2011
Sadly, it's not so simple. My children did feel betrayed and to this day my youngest, now 19, believes her dad chose the half-brother over her. And, even sadder, kids blame themselves when their parents divorce despite how often you tell them " it's not your fault."

That being said, studies show what hurts kids the most is parental CONFLICT and being caught in the middle of their parents issues. So if divorce removes conflict in the home it's generally better for the kids than staying married.
05:24 PM on 03/06/2011
You definitely cheat on the kids when you cheat on the spouse. And yes, if you are miserable, you should get out before you "get happy." But first, you need to get your head together to avoid repeating the mistakes of the first relationship.
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GrainOfSand
08:26 PM on 03/04/2011
Why are some commenters here blaming the wife for not leaving "sooner"? It's difficult to uproot your family over something like this, or any other type of marital problems. Instead of judging and asking why didn't the wife leave, why not show some compassion and caring?
08:56 PM on 03/04/2011
I used to think that it'd be easy to leave a relationship too but it's complicated - and I didn't even have children! These people, like I used to, don't understand also the kind of train crash that infedility is on a person's self-esteem.

And this is just the least of it because in a case like Sharon's it was only the woman who was cheated on, it was also the mother and her children.
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Sharon Zarozny
08:49 AM on 03/05/2011
You are right on about it being so complicated. You get knocked off your feet and need time to sort through all the chaos created. Love how you described it all.
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USAFWifey
Praying everyday for his safe return home
07:22 PM on 03/04/2011
How to deal? You leave his @ss!
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USAFWifey
Praying everyday for his safe return home
07:27 PM on 03/04/2011
I realize it's not always that easy. I had a friend that is still with her hubby after he cheated "Multiple" times. She always used the kids as an excuse to stay. I can see she is embarrassed and still hurting even though they are trying to make it work. That hurt will always be there!
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Sharon Zarozny
08:52 AM on 03/05/2011
Yes, while the pain lessens and the wound may close there is still a scar. My heart goes out to your friend. She's lucky to have someone like you who has empathy and is not judgmental. Hope you can continue to be there for her.
wetcoastm
Free Speech As Dictated By Our Sponsors
05:38 PM on 03/04/2011
I know some one who had this, but hubby eventually came home, and now the wife has to see part of her family income going to support his son who is around the same age as her daughter. As they try to move forward this child, who is innocent, will always be there a reminder of the lies that nearly ended their marriage.
06:40 PM on 03/04/2011
Why is she still with this person? I mean seriously. How can there be any trust? He had an affair and had a child nearly the same age as their daughter. The lies that nearly ended their marriage? The marriage ended years ago. There is no marriage. Why does she degrade herself like this? Her husband cheated on her and created another family, why doesn't she create something better for herself? Sorry, but I'm astonished at how you justify it. She can't possibly trust him, I bet she thinks about his lies every single day. She will never move on from it. Impossible.
03:36 PM on 03/04/2011
There are lots of women dealing with this type of a situation. One must make sure that the husband fulfills his financial obligation and when the child is older (able to visit sans mom) supply emotional support. I know about this first hand; make sure he ends the physical part of the connection with the child's mother. If he can't; time for you to exit the relationship.
03:29 PM on 03/04/2011
This was my biggest fear. My husband had been having an affair for three years with someone he claimed was just a friend. After I found several sex videos, including one where they were clearly not using protection. I decided then and there that my biggest fear was sooner or later going to become a reality, plus the risk he was taking of contracting an STD and giving it to me. I packed up my kids and left. They are still together, no kids yet, but I'm sure the "birth control" that is preventing it is half of his pay I get in child support. The way I look at it is, these two morally bankrupt individuals deserve each other and she can have him and his drama.
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Sharon Zarozny
05:29 PM on 03/04/2011
Sounds like you have handled it all admirably. Thanks for commenting and I wish you lots of happiness without him.
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USAFWifey
Praying everyday for his safe return home
07:24 PM on 03/04/2011
Sorry to hear that. You're absolutely right though, they do deserve each other.