Shasta Nelson, M.Div.

I miss watching Desperate Housewives on Sunday nights. In the name of research & development, the 8-season, multiple-award-winning ABC show served as a muse for me in my field of studying female friendships and guiding women to healthy relationships. Nearly every episode showcased principles of friendship between the neighbors of...

I won a $1,000 ticket to a Ms. magazine fundraiser luncheon featuring Gloria Steinem. With only thirty women in attendance it was a coveted win.

Photo: Shasta Nelson with Gloria Steinem and Ayesha Mathews-Wadwha

Feminism: A Word...

Anyone who hangs out with me for long will frequently hear me use the metaphor of an open hand. It's a hand gesture where a hand is cupped, palms up. Relaxed in a way, and yet, intentional enough that I could bring water to my lips with those fingers if...

More than 8 out of 10 of us can point to a friend we've had who we've considered to be toxic. A third of us say the culprit has been our best friend, according to a joint survey conducted by TODAY.com and SELF magazine.

By Definition of the...

Names like frenemy and toxic friend are becoming part of our vernacular. Books and articles continue to warn us about the unhealthy women with cute names like Negative Nellie, Sabotage Suzie, and Fault Finding Fran. Do a google search with two words that by definition shouldn't be in the same...

September is Women's Friendship Month. Forgive me if I sound less than thrilled.

I go back and forth between championing friendship holidays and feeling slightly squeamish over them. Much like one of Santa's helpers admitting some ambivalence about Christmas, it feels slightly wrong to be a spokesperson for women's friendship...

I want to show up in life in such a way that you feel greeted in my presence.

Welcomed. Worthy. Accepted. That means when I see you I start with love. It means I refuse to wait until my ego can determine your value to me. Forgive me for my...

"Women can be powerful. Women can be likable. Being both is hard to do." says Fortune editor Patricia Sellers in a post earlier this year that has stuck with me, "Facing Up to the Female Power Conundrum."

My Own Power Struggle
...

Inspired by the film Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, (released today in select markets with more theaters opening next Friday), which explores the ancient bonds of friendship, HuffPost Women has been celebrating the subject of female friendship in recent weeks.

"Friends 'Til...

In the summer, our expectations about our relationships seem to increase (second only to during the winter holiday season.) The season of long days and extra sunshine seem to heighten our desires for all that we could be experiencing with others!

Expectations Increase in the Summer
Summer brings...

One of the more common complaints I hear among women seeking new friends is the amount of energy it takes to meet people -- and not just to meet them, but then to put in the consistency to foster them through the stages from acquaintances to friends.

It is estimated that 40 million Americans will be moving this summer. That's a lot of friendship shifting.

In my work around the subject of female friendships, I'd venture to say that moving is the biggest contributing factor to women feeling lonely, lacking the friendship circle they crave. (Having a...

Several years ago when I heard that "Loneliness is the disease of this era," I'd look around and claim it couldn't be so. Now, I know better.

We have this mental picture of a lonely woman as that cranky, unlovable, unkempt woman who sits in her dark house all day,...

A common complaint from many women is their certainty that they give more in their friendships than they receive. This perceived give-and-take imbalance has many possible reasons. Chief among them? We are all wired to give in different ways.

With the exchange of money, we know how much...

If there is one thing I hear all the time from women, it is some variation of the theme: "I'm tired of being the one who gives more than I receive."

The details change depending upon the stage of the friendship, but the implication is always that we are tired...

It is an impossibility to be introduced to a friend. It has never happened.

Being Friendly Is Not The Same As Being Friends

Indeed, you can sense when you may have just met someone you'd like to be friends with, but a friendship it is not... yet. We only meet...

There is a lie out there that real friendship just happens.

When we think back to some of our good friends over the years, we love that we just seemed to click when we first met. It felt easy. It felt natural. It was fun. We use these stories...