THE BLOG

My Prayer: Who I Want To Be

08/08/2011 12:59 pm ET | Updated Oct 08, 2011
  • Shasta Nelson, M.Div. Friendship Expert, Founder of womens friendship matching site, GirlFriendCircles.com, Author of Friendships Don't Just Happen!

I want to show up in life in such a way that you feel greeted in my presence.

Welcomed. Worthy. Accepted. That means when I see you I start with love. It means I refuse to wait until my ego can determine your value to me. Forgive me for my impulse to judge, I want to un-learn that behavior. The truth is that you are human -- my sister, my brother -- and that is enough. Your value is exponential and I greet the lessons you will teach me. Thank you.

I want to show up in life in such a way that you feel abundant in my presence.

Abundant in the awareness that you are enough. More than enough, in fact. Where for a moment, you can find refuge from your inadequacies, insecurities, fears and judgments. For I want to see you; the part of you that is innocent, beautiful, perfect and true. I give you my word that I will seek that in you, knowing that those who seek, find. I desire to be someone who sees your best, even when you can't.

I want to show up in life in such a way that you feel loved in my presence.

For you are. I believe in a God that loves you. A God that asked me to do the same. I regret how frequently I do it imperfectly. Nonetheless, I will keep trying. For it's never because you're not worth my love; rather, it's always because my own fears get in my way of expressing it. I don't bestow upon you your loveability, I only affirm what is already there. You are love-able and loved. May I remember that truth that you might feel it when I'm around.

I want to show up in life in such a way that you feel gratitude in my presence.

May my words and actions remind us both that not only are you enough, but so am I. And so is this world. There is enough joy for both of us. I can promise you that when I feel lack -- as I sometimes do -- I will own it as my own hunger; refusing to devalue what you have, or who you are. You deserve all that is yours and I celebrate it. May I become the person who holds so much gratitude for your life that I invite you to rejoice in it too.

I want to show up in life in such a way that you feel encouraged in my presence.

Not just applauded, but deeply hopeful. I want to hold enough faith in the universe that I can share it with you at any time. I want you to be able to look in my eyes and see your best self reflected back at you. May you feel supported in owning your strength, your beauty, your talent, your power, your love, your goodness. An encouragement that roots itself in a soil of knowing and branches out in vibrant action.

It doesn't matter who you are -- you deserve these things from me.

  • You can be someone I walk by in the grocery store, or someone I commit my life to. Both can be equally difficult.
  • You can be someone I am drawn to, or someone I feel repelled by. Either way, how I show up with kindness should not differ.
  • You can be someone who has loved me well, or someone who has hurt me deeply. My interpretation of my experience with you doesn't change your worth.
  • You can be someone I watch only on TV, or someone I know intimately. Your inherent goodness isn't dependent on my knowing you.

How I respond to you says more about me than it does about you. I know that. I own it. Indeed there is a gap between who I want to be for you and who I am. For that, I am sorry. Life is not a competition where one of us holds more value than another. And no one, other than my own ego, has given me permission to go around making judgments about your merit. So when I show up, as humans often do, without being all that I want to be, forgive me. And just know it's no reflection on you.

My prayer is that I keep growing in love, becoming, expanding, inviting, welcoming. I trust that as I see my own worth more clearly, I might better show you yours.

My prayer is that the best in me honors the best in you. That I can have God-eyes to see you the way you are. The way you are meant to be loved.

May it be so. Namaste.

This blog is re-posted from Shasta's Friendship Blog where she writes weekly on relationship strategy.

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