The Anti-Diva List

VH1's annual "Divas" spectacle aired Thursday. Two hours of overly emoting, overly styled, and overly self-conscious chicks on a mediocre musical parade led by crazy fallen "American Idol" priestess Paula Abdul.

All I can say is thank god for Cyndi Lauper. She brought the night's only dose of sincerity with her "True Colors" revival. Over 20 years later, Lauper looks hotter than ever and is a desperately needed reminder of what it means to have soul. And who followed her? Miley Cyrus who reminded the audience (via a pre-taped segment) that she is "cool and a diva" and that she wants to change the world. She didn't say for better or worse. I have my opinions.

GALLERY: See the entire Anti-Diva List

The word "diva" has to be the most overused and misappropriated word in the music business (next to "genius"). It also ignores a whole group of females who have spent a lifetime making music which goes deeper than eye shadow. Give me a woman who sweats over a guitar any day.

Here's my anti-diva list. No Maybelline sponsorships. No sequins. No gowns. Just raw sensuality, charm, and brains as only a true woman can provide. These anti-divas derive strength from the power of their musical prowess. They don't employ stylists - just guitar techs.

Chrissie Hynde

Chrissie Hynde is the coolest woman alive and no man can have her. She was too much woman for the Kinks' Ray Davies and too strong for Simple Minds' Jim Kerr. She wears stilettos only to leave a souvenir when she walks over you. She says it best herself: "I'm too precious. F**k off."

 

 

Janis Joplin

The late, great Janis Joplin could drink ten men under the table then sing loud enough to shake the teeth out of their head. She was full of pathos, passion, and pure sexual energy. Totally unscripted without a net. If she bothered to wear makeup, it would have been chasing the sweat and tears down her face.

 

 

Bonnie Raitt

Raitt is a red-haired raven who plays the bottlenecked slide guitar like many men would love to play her. She's been schooled by the blues and seasoned by thousands of miles on the road. She's laid back in a way that only an anti-diva can be. Not a histrionic bone in her bluesy body.

 

 

Tracy Chapman

Chapman is the earth mother to us all, burrowing into your heart with just her unaccompanied voice (listen to "Behind the Wall" from her 1988 self-titled debut for proof). She was pure acoustic soul long before India.Arie claimed it.

 

 

Norah Jones

Jones can jump from jazz to folk to country to rock all with the same effortless understatement that eludes most bombastic divas. She possess a sense of musical purpose you'd expect from the daughter of an Indian musical master (sitar maestro Ravi Shankar).

 

 

Patti Smith

Smith is a punk prophetess who rules with a book of poetry filled with hard truths about the cruel contradictions of this world. She has no time for niceties or music that is trivial. For her - and those who dare to listen - song and voice are matters of life and death.

 

 

Joan Jett

Jett turns 51 on September 22. She still looks like a young runaway looking to join a leather clad rock band. Jett is part of a fast dying breed: hard women who rock even harder without a shred of premeditation. She's pure rock gut instinct.

 

 

Joni Mitchell

Mitchell is a painter, a jazz spirit, and a folk godmother. She's way too smart to put up with record business b.s. anymore. Instead, she opts for a vision that's all her own and not property of a star-making focus group.

 

 

 

 

Ann Wilson

Any chick who plays flute and sings like Robert Plant is alright with me. Plus, she has a sister who's a guitar slinging sex goddess. Ann Wilson is a hard rock (anti) diva. I even forgive her for the big-haired, corporate rock '80s period.

 

 

Feist

Feist is frumpy, neo-folkie cool and can count with Elmo. What else do you need? Oh yeah…she plays banjo. Banjos are the ultimate anti-diva instrument. I wish she was my prom date. I'd buy her a sock puppet corsage and we'd slow dance to Broken Social Scene who would most certainly be the prom band.

 

 

 

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Comments

[kittyarmy]

Love Joan Jett! There's also Annie Lennox. And look up Corey Parks of The Huns.

[PatA]

Kate and Anna McGarrigle­.......try "Heart Like a Wheel"....you don't have to be a rocker to be an "anti-diva".....or "Dancer with Bruised Knees".......

[sallythewerewolf]

the late, great Laura Nyro...And Carly Simon.

[Cygnus-X1]

Aimee Mann? Just saying...

[MerhabaAbi]

Diva is a corpoatist lable for talentless drama-queens. Don't use their lable. I think Melissa Ethridge is the most powerful vocalists not to make the anti-diva list.

[montecarlo408]

Great list and totally agree on all of them, but I think you left out one anti diva who left us too soon-Eva Cassidy. Her work was incredible.

[sallythewerewolf]

Marianne Faithfull and Carole King.

[HalfBakedSushi]

>>>"Jett is part of a fast dying breed: hard women who rock even harder without a shred of premeditation."

All too true. I miss chicks who rock. They are a rare thing these days.

I'd also have to nominate Fiona Apple. And ditto adding Annie Lennox, Pat Benatar, and Shirley Manson to this list.

[meadowgirl]

you left off one of the biggest, most powerful voices in the last 20 years: Tori Amos.

i like the idea of an Anti-Diva tho'.

[sodisenchanted]

Please don't forget Ann Wilson's sister, Nancy. She can sing, too, and she's a Rock Goddess whose licks are way hotter than those of most Rock Gods. Thanks for reminding us what true talent is.

[jmpurser]

Thank you. Nice to see a list of real musicians instead of the pop celebrity "artists" we drown in daily.

[marlovian]

Keep a little love in your heart for Rory Block.

[ktano0]

Great article. I just happened to catch the latest "Divas" show, and was appalled. Much of it was like watching beauty pageant talent. Although there were some decent singers, the material left much to be desired. Stevie Wonder and Jennifer Hudson were okay until that dreadful melisma showdown at the end of the song. Miley Cyrus has to be the hardest working non-talent in the business. Her speaking voice is as horrible as her singing. Poor Sheryl Crow had a "oops, this was a mistake" look on her face when she was singing with her. Sheryl Crow deserves to be on the above list, by the way.
Cyndi Lauper stole the show.

[sexyrexy]

agree.. I'm bored stiff with this overused title-- DIVA.. when more often than not-- hardly deserving.

and true too-- I have w itnessed Janis Joplin drink several guys under the table--she sure can swig that Southern comfort and she was just starting. And her language.. garamba.. I can actually say-- Midler in the Rose-- was VERY TAME..

[sexyrexy]

PS: one thing about Janis though-- talk to her about her music which I finally had the guts to tell her( she used to hung out at BARNEY'S BEANERY on Sta Monica blvd) in an instant-- she was like a young girl so grateful & thrilled,vulnerable and all that 'toughness' gone.. and all her focus on you.. she was prepared to talk of nothing else.

she scared me at first-- until this moment.. I saw her the night before she died.. shocked me she remembered my name.

[jukesgrrl]

Thanks for the great story. You had a moment, to be sure.

[RedDogBear]

This is a great list. I agree Pat Benetar and Annie Lenox should be added. Many people may not have heard of them but I would add Tegan and Sara, twin sisters from Canada. I really struggle to find modern rock or pop music that doesn't sound like it was recorded by robots in a factory (I hope whoever invented the auto-tuner has to spend eternity listening to Cher's "Do You Believe in Love" on an endless loop in a locked room in hell). Tegan and Sara are one of the very few groups making music now that I like. Somewhere between pop and rock. I first heard of them in an article about Neil Young, thinking any band that Neil likes has to have something going for them.