Working moms want to work ... don't they?
That's a question being asked more and more now that women have become a bigger part of the workforce than ever before. We're at the point now where women make up nearly half the workforce and are breadwinners or co-breadwinners in nearly two-thirds of households. Much of this surge is the result of basic economics and the high cost of living (the vast majority of recession-related job cuts were men and it's incredibly expensive to raise children).
Women are working more, but the debate is ongoing about whether that's the result of choice or mere necessity.
Sharon Lerner's new book, The War on Moms, is self-proclaimed "battlefield reporting" on the challenges facing working mothers. Lerner writes about issues revolving around maternity leave (and the lack thereof), hard-to-find affordable child care solutions, and what she calls "a dearth of decent part-time jobs."
"American women are desperate for part-time work that pays a living wage," Lerner writes.
The key there is the phrase "living wage." Since moms are still the ones primarily responsible for arranging care in most families, a "living wage" doesn't just have to pay for food and shelter. It also has to cover child care for when Mom's at work and often health insurance for her and the kids, as well. That's just not possible with most part-time jobs these days -- a fact of life that leaves Lerner appealing to the government to enact change, since many businesses have been slow to change things on their own.
Lerner cites this 2009 study from the Pew Research Center that shows 60 percent of working moms would rather drop down to a part-time role as proof that women are stuck in a Catch-22: They don't really want to work, but do so out of necessity. Laura Vanderkam also references the same study in a recent USA Today editorial, but questions those conclusions.
Calling American culture "obsessed with the notion of work-life balance," Vanderkam argues that working moms really should be satisfied with their full-time job. She points out that the pros of working full-time (benefits, long-term career goals, and the fact that full-time workers earn twice what part-time workers do while only working 30 percent more) as outweighing the cons (less family time). One study shows married moms who work part-time only spend 41 more minutes each day on child care versus moms who work full-time. For Vanderkam, it's all about time management: even if you work full-time, you still have about 72 hours -- yes, that's three day's worth -- of free time to spend with your children and partner.
Honestly, I can't tell you who's right. I agree with one side of the coin (Lerner) because moms really do need help with work/life fit. Part-time jobs aren't a solution for many families, particularly for single mothers who have a lot of trouble and little help from their employers with coordinating their odd hours, changing shifts, and lower salaries with their child care providers. And I do see the merit in the other side (Vanderkam), because it's always important for families to consider the big picture and think about how moving away from a full-time career track affects life both in the present and in the future.
For me, the choice to work full-time-and-then-some in the world of internet startups was one I made in college when my husband, Ron, and I had our first son. Since then, it's been a constant struggle to make sure I've devoted enough time to our family while also focusing on my career. It hasn't been easy -- there have been plenty of sleepless nights -- but we've made it through by learning, handling things as they come, and drinking a lot of coffee! Both Ron and I agree that we've made the right choice for our family.
But not everyone is in the same boat. Recently, a reader left a comment on my personal blog that encapsulated the decision so many mothers make when they choose to stay home. Kristen wrote:
I gave up a six-figure income to stay home with my kids for 6 1/2 years. Although it was the hardest thing I've ever done, both personally and financially, my kids were worth the investment! My career and my financial independence are very important to me; however, my children are priceless. I'm so grateful to the working women that were older than me at my previous employer. We were all sitting in the cafeteria one day when I was (hugely) pregnant and every single one of those very successful, career-oriented women told me that if they had to do it over again, they would have stayed home with their kids when they were young. That was all I needed to hear.
The choice to work, the decision to stay home, or the option of working part-time all have an impact on the quality of life and the balance we moms are able to find. So I ask the moms of the world: Why do you work (or not)? What would you change about working if you could?
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My workplace was full of working mothers, and to Vanderkam'
I certainly do not suggest that every mother should stay at home with her children, and if one has a personally satisfying career, then perhaps the choice work full-time outweighs the missed time with family. But, for Vanderkam to point out that 72 hours of free time to spend with your children is more than enough, underscore
Ladies, keep a hand in the work force. Keep some marketable skills. Scale back to a part time job, sure, but stay in there. You do not want to be in my position, or the position of the huge number of women working in grocery stores and fast food because there is noting else.
Your children are precious, so is your life after your children are in school and after they leave to start their lives as adults. This will come far quicker then you would believe possible.
The decision to work full-time, part-time, or not at all is an intensely personal one. For me, I’ve always worked full-time, beginning when Ron and I had our first child while we were both still in college.
As a mom (like any parent), there are times where I wish I could spend more time with our boys, and I’ve certainly had times in my life where I’ve thought about working part-time. The reality is (knowing myself well) that if I worked part-time, I’d still fill the extra hours with other activities and tend to over-commi
And I can’t complain with how full my life is with working full-time, spending quality time with my family, and finding time to help others. The one drawback though is finding time to work out lately and the amount of coffee it sometimes takes to get through the day. :)