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Shelley A. Lewis Headshot

The Mother

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The art and science of conversation begins in utero 'womb' as we are being created and emerges into a more familiar form with birth and bonding. In the beginning of our physical creation, egg and sperm select one and other, then mother and fetus together grow our emerging bodies and self. Even before our birth social interaction is forming us and coloring the future possibilities of our calls and responses. The precursors of full conversation are underway. Built in genetic interactions and reflexes they evolve and transform into personal histories and proclivities. At birth we are already very complex, within us different brain centers and different glandular centers 'talk' with each other and our earth bound self has to interact with, deal with, and communicate with our care takers and our environment.

If we are lucky our environments, pace, volume, and intensity will be suitable to us, providing a comfortable range of stimulation and facilitating us to set down healthy patterns of communication for future conversations.

The birthing of conversation:

Is the amount, volume, intensity, such that I can experience myself without disruption and select out meaningful clues and signals from you? Are you aware of my needs, and signals and are you adequately responsive to them? Do you respond to them in a timely manner so that my excitement level is comfortable and I can focus in on your response? In this way, I learn more about myself and about you.

As I grow, do you get in sync with me so that I can feel what it is like to be responded to and feel what it is like to respond to you? Do you give me time to move from seeing what you do, ie: when you play mouth movements with me, to perceiving you, ie: going beyond just visually seeing your mouth movements to my becoming aware that you are showing me something , and playing with me? Do you give me time to move my perception and awareness of what you are doing into the integrative part of my brain so that I can prepare my nerves and muscles to copy your mouth play and play back with you?

Do you help me to know those places in me, by being there inside yourself as well - supporting me not distracting me? Do you enjoy these feelings in you, in me, in our emerging as us? Do you feel my motor brain and nerves and muscles begin to fire, contract and form a response that I will feel in my mouth and you will perceive in yours? Do you take joy in my doing it, in you being part of it, in our sharing? Do you provide that exquisitely sensual joyous, supportive pause that allows us, facilitates us in this sequence.

For now this is a sequence that is already laid down and experienced, and now the repetitions will let it become more familiar and finally known. Like a Polaroid film emerging into existence as the chemical process proceeds into recognition. Once this sequence is known to me, it will be my turn to initiate a new sequence.

Do you remember and enjoy the pause - that most essential pause, that allows us to note and become aware of what has just happened and allows us the next pause, that allows self integration to emerge so that we may become more than we ever were before.

Do you?