WANTED: One Scapegoat for "War Czar" Position

Unemployed? Under-employed. There's a sweet job just waiting for someone like you at the White House.

Because some of the generals they've approached have begun to talk about it, we now know about the exciting new position of "War Czar." So far, for some reason, nobody wants the job.

I know, I know, you're thinking we already have a war czar. It's the guy who likes to dress up in flight suits and call himself a war president (and who in fact is the Commander in Chief).

Beats me why we need a War Czar to run the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.

The job, according to the Washington Post, has been offered to at least three 4 star generals, who've all turned it down. One of the generals is ret. General Jack Sheehan.

"The very fundamental issue is, they don't know where the hell they're going," Sheehan is quoted as saying to the WaPo.

It seems he didn't want to step in the middle of a White House torn between delusional Cheney's hardline insistence that the war is winnable, and the administration's realists who see a catastrophe for Republicans in 2008 and want to figure out how to end the war.

If you're not sure how you feel about the idea, consider that it's enthusiastically endorsed by Fred Kagan of the American Enterprise Institute, who was the author of the Iraq surge plan: "Hope they do it, and hope they do it soon," he says. Gosh, it must be a great idea if Kagan thinks it is.

So let's help them write a want ad.

WANTED: Scapegoat with high threshold for pain,
low self-esteem to act as mouthpiece/puppet for Bush war.
Must be willing to provide "guidance" to the President,
in the form of stating to him what he already wants to do
so that he can say he was listening to his War Czar. Must be able to take
responsibility for mistakes and disasters. Must be prepared to be fired
suddenly and without warning.

On the other hand, they could just give the job to McCain. He loves to visit Baghdad.