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My Coming November Crackup
I just spoke to my old college friend Roger. We confessed to each other that we cannot wait until this election is over and for Obama to be elected President. We are older men with reasonably good nervous systems tested and toughened by life, death, and everything in-between, and yet this election has been a new high in personal fear and trembling. Our cracks are beginning to show even as it seems more and more likely that the good guys will win. And damn it, we have become more and more fearful and superstitious about expressing that hope for an Obama victory.
We both confessed to waking up real early and heading towards our laptops to check on the latest results in the presidential polls before feeding the cat or making the morning coffee, and finding that there is no Obama lead in Zogby, Rasmussen, USA or CBS large enough to put our fears to rest. A ten point lead? Nothing! What's that to these Republicans, trained from birth to swallow ten points for breakfast with their orange juice and Metamucil? Do we exaggerate their power to find and kill Osama, rig the voting machines, and smear, smear, smear Barack Obama into a narrow defeat all in the course of a single day before the election? Not a bit. We wonder why that power to destroy cannot be put in the service of building the country and working towards economic and social justice. You see, even us older guys can be shamelessly naïve.
Unlike our sons and daughters, we don't take much comfort in the comedians who target the Republicans on SNL and late night TV. We are old enough to remember that Chaplin's "The Great Dictator" didn't laugh the totalitarian governments into defeat, nor was Karl Kraus of Austria or Berthold Brecht's savage satires able to stop the spread of evil in Weimar Europe. Thank you very much Tina Fey, but darling that you are, you are preaching to the converted. The real Sarah Palin doesn't get it -- nor do her rabid followers. And we fear that they see the White House in the sights of their rifles.
We need a twenty point Obama lead tomorrow for us nervous guys to sleep easy. And even that may not do it. We know that such a lead is not likely in our divided country, even in the middle of this dire economic crises. Having seen the devious ways the Republicans operate, we find it impossible to believe that they will not once again pull some Rovian trick that turns our political and personal universe on its head - destroying our hopes for this country and our family's lives for another four years. We suspect the worst, while hoping for the best. And we fear that this country we love is running out of chances.
Our mutual friend and fellow classmate Bob, a fine landscape and city scene painter, just died of melanoma in Maine. Among his last acts was sending in an absentee ballot for Obama, knowing that he would not live to see the results of this election. Like many of my generation he cared about the world that he will not live to see. And damn it, this time, Bob's hopes and ours must not be betrayed. No, forget the crackup, I won't go to France or to pieces if McCain/Palin is elected. I will go out and start working on the next campaign - you see, my generation just won't give up on the old fashioned idea of a democratic government that cares about the least of its citizens. We reject the elitism of the ignorant with it's smears and it's lies which they call patriotism and we call baloney.
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I can understand your article entitled "My Coming November Crackup";. however, I am not a believer in the accuracy of the daily polls. They are just another way of creating fear, which has been cleverly manyfactured by President Bush & his cronies with a lot of help from "THE MEDIA" over the past eight years.The public is fed up with these lies. I have faith that "The Get Out the Vote" campaign which has been extremely well orchestrated will in fact make Obama our next President. I am relying on his intelligence and compassion as a public servant to surround himself with the right people to guide him through these difficult times. I believe he has the best chance to help our countries economy & restore the respect of our great country throughout the world.
Actually, this makes me feel quite a bit better:
http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2008/10/todays-polls-1023-mccain-on-life.html
The crown jewel of your piece:
"We reject the elitism of the ignorant with it's smears and it's lies which they call patriotism and we call baloney."
Cudos to you Mr. Yellen for giving voice to the fear that is haunting probably the majority of rational intelligent US citizens.
Well done.
Mr. Yellen, I know the point of your piece is probably to cajole everyone into not becoming complacent as so many have been doing lately.
But to me, it crosses the line from anti-complacency into pro-demoralization.
After reading this, my feelings were, in this order: in my heart, I don't really believe Obama will win Virginia or North Carolina because they're southern, r@cist states; that requires a win in Florida or Ohio, which, despite being "toss-up" states the Democrats have gone zero for four in carrying, and any scenario in which the Democrats rely on carrying Florida or Ohio means the Democrats are in trouble; and that leaves a clean sweep in the west, which is McCain's back yard, and culturally Bushian.
So I see Barack firming up his solid 264 votes--- and staying right there. And we watch as the r@cism in VIrgina and North Carolina, the institutional dirty tricks in Ohio and Florida, and the cultural chili-cookoff of the west all come trickling in into the wee hours of the night.
Your piece reminded me why it is I feel, in my bones, that these j@ckbooted thugs will always have their boots on the necks of moderates and progressives.
Was complete counter-productive demoralization your actual intent in writing this? If so, congratulations.
I'm glad to know you won't crack up; I'm not sure I wont. I'm even older than you are and what's more I pray for the 20 point lead.
I've become an amusement to my kids - all grown and sane - they really have concerns that I may not handle Obama's losing in a healthy manner.
Great piece. I've talked to a lot of people that feel this way. One of the best quotes I've heard about having this feeling of fear/dread/whatever is from Chris Rock. He was discussing the GOP on "Real Time With Bill Maher" when he said:
"They'll change the whole rules of everything. You know, sometimes I think Obama actually thinks that having the most votes is going to mean something. You know, they'll change it all. They'll look him dead in the face and go, 'Hey, man, you got the most votes. Too bad you lost. We used to count votes. Now we're counting bacon!'"
Funny and disturbing at the same time.
I am so glad to read these posts, as it makes me feel somewhat calmer. I am on total shut-down. I have basically shelved all of my work until after Nov. 5. I am just going through the motions. What truly is at stake is our Democracy. And I don't think I can handle the election being stolen once again. If it is..(please God NO!!!) I do not think I will be able to stay here in the US. Will have to find a more hopeful place. I cannot imagine this counrty with Sarah Palin a heartbeat away from the presidency. Or John McCain for that matter. So going to keep working to get Obama elected. I really cannot imagine any other outcome.
I spend a big part of my day at work reading Huffingtonpost or listening to my XM radio talk shows (The Young Turks rock!!!). I cannot think of anything else. I want to believe that Obama will win but I am afraid to hope!
I vote early this weekend!!
I want a job like yours.
I might not have a job if I don't pull myself together. My distraction doesn't mean I don't have piles of work teetering around my desk.
Everyone is confessing how checking those damn polls is their latest addiction...
I have my Favorites Links toolbar at the top of my screen, with "HP" (HuffPo) almost dead center, and just to the right of it, the Real Clear Politics polls link, "Polls," so I can easily get to both in sequence throughout the day...It's sad and funny to realize that I am as bad as everyone else...
13 more days (NOT 12 ~ We won't know the results for SURE until November 5...)
I am nervous all the time too and wake up every morning worrying. I'm lucky to be a dog walker because I find being around all my wonderful canine clients eases the knots in my stomach and all the exercise helps to calm my nerves. I've been through a lot of grief and loss in my life, but I never felt so sick everyday with fear and worry as the past month. The cure for me will be President Obama!
This election, more than any other, is the final frontier in our faith in American democracy. Many people, including respected Republicans, expect Obama to win. If he goes the way of Kerry in a climate where he has so many variables on his side (voter enthusiasm, tanking economy, money, intelligence, competence, newspaper endorsements, encroaching on red states, the terrible campaign of McCain, Palin as VP pick), then most everyone will agree (including many Republicans) that the election was stolen. November 4 is the greatest test of our faith in the legitimacy of democracy in this country. This is the moment when we find out once and for all if our democracy is sound. This is why we are scared out of our minds.
It may also be the day that we find out what the modern American is made of. If this election is stolen, what will we do? Will we stand up and say "no more?"
Stolen? If you notice, many of the polls show McCain/Palin gaining in the polls - while Obama is losing ground. Is this because the election is ALREADY being Stolen? Please consider that if BO loses this election it is because the "undecideds" made the decision to go with old reliable - instead of the new guy that is untested, unknown, and maybe just a little bit too far to the left of most or main-stream America. Or - BO may just win. Does that mean that he stole the election? This last one is hard to say; but if you're curious about stealing, I'd say a good place to start is with the organization ACORN. BTW - why hasn't BO released a real birth certificate? If he has one - why all the legal shenanigans? Inquiring minds...
Thank you for this post. I thought I was alone.
And from the comments, it seems I'm not.
I have to think this has got to be the most unproductive period in US history.
I can't even get 6 hrs sleep I'm so nervous. My glasses don't seem to work as well and I've got a crick in my back from leaning over to look at a monitor.
Please, please let's keep working and get this done.
Not just for you and me but for all of us.
Yes, even our fellow citizens who prefer Mr McCain and Mrs Palin--who I suspect are not bad people--except when they are campaigning and trying to make us afraid of the other guy...
I too, cannot function normally anymore. I get up and run to the computer also. I check the same old tired polls 20-25 times a day. I really am not well. I just want so much to believe that we as a nation can be all that we seemed destined to be. We must stop this selfish, arrogant, self-destructive form of governing. We are so much better as a people than the government that has represented us for the last 8 years. This is the thought that gets me through each day and gives me hope for Nov. 4th.
This is like Christmas for me, and I got an early present yesterday. My husband, a die-hard Republican, and long-time admirer of John McCain, voted with me for Obama. He has been so impressed with everything about Obama. Now, I can hardly wait for the big day - Nov 4th. Instead of 61, I feel like an anxious kid again.
As a lifelong Republican who already has a date with my husband for us both to go vote Obama-Biden (he is using a work vacation day, and we have a bottle of chanmpagne on ice to toast the early landslide!), I am so happy for you, your husband, ALL of us.
THAT is the one thing Obama gives across the board, it IS "all of us."
We are ALL Americans.
We ALL can HOPE.
THAT is what the "Old Guard" is afraid of. No more lies. No more FEAR.
I am going to try to be positive from now until 6 PM on election night, when the numbers should be more than reassuring, and have NO MORE FEAR.
The McCain hatred of Obama is strong, and the campaign tactics, as well as those of the GOP are mean, and scary, in that there are people who believe the lies, and if we don't all vote, the fear may win...
But I am POSITIVE. We are ALL Americans.
My FELLOW citizens, like me, WILL vote for the right man in enough numbers to make President Obama a reality on November 5.
WE CAN DO THIS.
YES. WE. CAN!
My nervous system is is tatters so much so that I am near tears all the time from this waiting for Obama to be elected.
I can't vote but I can say to all my fellow bloggers, I am chuffed by your passion, your integrity and your courage and I know that this amazing spirit of hope that is consuming us all, will bring a victory that is real and honest and right.
All the feelings and fears you mentioned are with me everyday.I thought I was the only one-on the lap top first thing in the morning,last thing at night. I would be scared if Obama was 40 points ahead. But I hope and pray-the good guy wins this time.
I will caast my vote for Obama thinking of you!!!!
Don't worry, ghenry. Obama has my vote and my husband's too. We are both former Republicans. We are not alone. We will vote for ourselves and for you and others around the world who want the US to have President Obama in charge here.
Are you from the UK? I ask because of the word "chuffed" you used. Not that it matters anyway, but I love the UK and your expressions! Many Americans won't understand what chuffed means though ; )
Don't worry, if there is nothing you can do about the situation, then worry is pointless. If there is something you can do to fix the problem, don't worry, just do it! It will be alright, I feel it in my bones.
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