My Coming November Crackup

I just spoke to my old college friend Roger. We confessed to each other that we cannot wait until this election is over and for Obama to be elected President. We are older men with reasonably good nervous systems tested and toughened by life, death, and everything in-between, and yet this election has been a new high in personal fear and trembling. Our cracks are beginning to show even as it seems more and more likely that the good guys will win. And damn it, we have become more and more fearful and superstitious about expressing that hope for an Obama victory.

We both confessed to waking up real early and heading towards our laptops to check on the latest results in the presidential polls before feeding the cat or making the morning coffee, and finding that there is no Obama lead in Zogby, Rasmussen, USA or CBS large enough to put our fears to rest. A ten point lead? Nothing! What's that to these Republicans, trained from birth to swallow ten points for breakfast with their orange juice and Metamucil? Do we exaggerate their power to find and kill Osama, rig the voting machines, and smear, smear, smear Barack Obama into a narrow defeat all in the course of a single day before the election? Not a bit. We wonder why that power to destroy cannot be put in the service of building the country and working towards economic and social justice. You see, even us older guys can be shamelessly naïve.

Unlike our sons and daughters, we don't take much comfort in the comedians who target the Republicans on SNL and late night TV. We are old enough to remember that Chaplin's "The Great Dictator" didn't laugh the totalitarian governments into defeat, nor was Karl Kraus of Austria or Berthold Brecht's savage satires able to stop the spread of evil in Weimar Europe. Thank you very much Tina Fey, but darling that you are, you are preaching to the converted. The real Sarah Palin doesn't get it -- nor do her rabid followers. And we fear that they see the White House in the sights of their rifles.

We need a twenty point Obama lead tomorrow for us nervous guys to sleep easy. And even that may not do it. We know that such a lead is not likely in our divided country, even in the middle of this dire economic crises. Having seen the devious ways the Republicans operate, we find it impossible to believe that they will not once again pull some Rovian trick that turns our political and personal universe on its head - destroying our hopes for this country and our family's lives for another four years. We suspect the worst, while hoping for the best. And we fear that this country we love is running out of chances.

Our mutual friend and fellow classmate Bob, a fine landscape and city scene painter, just died of melanoma in Maine. Among his last acts was sending in an absentee ballot for Obama, knowing that he would not live to see the results of this election. Like many of my generation he cared about the world that he will not live to see. And damn it, this time, Bob's hopes and ours must not be betrayed. No, forget the crackup, I won't go to France or to pieces if McCain/Palin is elected. I will go out and start working on the next campaign - you see, my generation just won't give up on the old fashioned idea of a democratic government that cares about the least of its citizens. We reject the elitism of the ignorant with it's smears and it's lies which they call patriotism and we call baloney.

Comments

[RAStewart]

All I can say is, this old guy is right there with you, Sherman.

[TRYKER]

If Obama loses this election, it will be because of massive fraud.
Therefore, the country will be up in arms and heading for Washington.
I wouldn't want to be riding around with a McCain Palin sticker on my car after Nov 5th if this fraud occurs, I wouldn't be safe.
We can only take so much, and this level has been tolerated only for ONE reason, Obama wins the election and this country gets on to the right track.
Trade your creaky boned fear in for some red-blooded courage and get ready to make things right for the wronged.

[RAStewart]

"If Obama loses this election, it will be because of massive fraud."

True.

"Therefore, the country will be up in arms and heading for Washington."

Not so sure. This country has put up with the shredding of the Constitution, a war based on lies, the industrialized world's highest poverty levels, lowest educational achievement, and worst and most expensive health-care system, and an economic structure that more closely resembles the Third World every year. And at least two stolen elections.

But we have to slog on, don't we? Remember that courage is not the absence of fear, but doing our duty in the face of fear.

[chucktrotter]

Will the Neo-Cons "allow" this election to cause a change in their financial or diplomatic power? There were U.S.-paid mercenaries patrolling the streets of New Orleans 72 hours before FEMA arrived on the scene. Do you suppose that those hired to "serve and protect" are predominately pro-Obama? Do you suppose that the upper 5% is going to start paying taxes and cease their Ponzi-schemes? I agree, fully, with TRYKER...I will no longer accept stolen elections. LOCKED AND LOADED!

[ProudNeoCon]

LOL.. So why have an election lets put Obama in the White House now...

[deadsteve]

Chill baby
Last spring I thought that the only way Hillary would lose would be because of fraud.
oops!
Should I scrape the Lieberman sticker off my car?
Are you thinking straight up purge or reeducation thru labor?
Remember repubs own most of the guns.

[RI]

It must be that 60's idealism. Its like a virus: just flares up once in awhile when inspiration hits. Let's not just hope for the best, but also work for the best.

[magicmary]

I clean the health food store out of their anti stress supplements and blame the Republicans for every moment of stress and muscle knot in my life because the rest of the stuff I can normally handle! I will be weeping on November 5 no matter who wins but for opposite reasons of course. I'm visualizing myself dressed in red white and blue on that day though, to celebrate Obama's win! I will be laughing crying and I will SO be mocking the office Republicans!!!
I really hope Obama wins so I can relax!!
God Bless Bob!!

[Clairvaux]

We old farts just aren't as resilient as we once were.

Keep the faith. The forces of light are staging a comeback.

[SeniorTour]

Hey, old guy! Me too! Of course, you wrote this before the new, (and hopefully flawed), AP poll came out showing the race is frighteningly close. So with the daily friction, it appears that we will be getting fitful rest for the next 13 days. Sorry to hear about your buddy, Bob. He did a beautiful thing. What a bittersweet story! I hope his vote turns into part of his legacy.

[mmcdonald]

Hi Sherman! I, too, have been logged on before breakfast every day since the Democratic convention, not getting enough sleep or exercise, scanning Huffpost multiple times each day for every new slip and slide. Twenty points might help calm my nervousness, but only an indisputable landslide on Nov. 4 will really do the trick. This sort of commiserating doesn't really help my condition, though it feels good to share - but your friend Bob's wonderful action, and your own "old-guy" determination to start working on the next campaign should this election -- against what look like increasingly not-too-bad odds (dare I say so much?) -- go horribly, horribly wrong.

My brother told me that he actually might move to France if Obama loses. I haven't known where I might go, since I don't have my brother's contacts. Now I know that I will have to sign up with Sherman in Bob's name. Thank you both!