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Sherri Bushong Maxey

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I May Not Be Their Birth Mother, But I Take Care of 51 Kids With Cancer as If They Were My Own

Posted: 05/12/2012 12:07 pm

As evidenced by the abundance of flower and jewelry commercials, Mother's Day is Sunday. I have often wondered how I would celebrate if I were a mother.

But, in a way, I am.

As a "House Mama" at the Ronald McDonald House of Memphis, I am the mother to 51 children who are fighting cancer while being treated at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

Now some would ask, "Does this really make you a mother?" If a mother is someone with natural offspring then the answer is no. But if a mother is someone to whom children look to hear their stories, wipe their tears, and give them hugs, then the answer is a resounding yes.

I started volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House of Memphis shortly after it opened in 1991. As a volunteer, I was able to meet many families who were fighting for their child's life.

I will never forget one of the first families I met. Their 2-year-old son was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Their son, along with their 5-year-old daughter, spent the better part of nine months staying at the Ronald McDonald House of Memphis. This family tried to maintain a sense of "normalcy," when in fact, their lives had been turned upside down. I will never forget this little boy's love for life and his smile. At 2 years old, he loved golf and would play outside in the yard for hours using his custom fit golf club. When he was at his sickest, I would spend time with him in the hospital so that his parents could spend time with their daughter.

Unfortunately, their son did not survive. But to this day, I am still friends with his family.

Some of my friends ask me how I do it. "Isn't it sad, Sherri?" they ask me. I tell them it is really not sad at all. Every day, we have the most fun we can have while we are here. While we cannot cure our children, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital has proven evidence that staying at the Ronald McDonald House improves a child's adherence to complicated treatment plans and communication with the child's medical team, which can help them heal faster and go back to being kids.

I have been amazed throughout the years by the dedication and love that exists at Ronald McDonald House. Laughter is the universal language and that was never more evident when we had two little girls staying at the House. One spoke English, but the other did not. That did not stop them from playing and laughing together, though. I will never forget one afternoon when I heard the giggles coming from the front of the building. I got up to investigate where the giggles were coming from. I found these two girls in the lobby having a silly string fight. Their laughter brought more families out of their rooms. Before long, there was an all-out silly string war happening, and everyone was laughing.

I am just one of many "House Mama's" around the world that helps to make up the system of support that Ronald McDonald House Charities provides to families with sick children. RMHC has a long history of taking care of families and children, one family and one child at a time. RMHC provides a stable and supportive environment for families to stay together as they try to maintain some sense of "normalcy" when their lives have been turned upside down.

Today, RMHC is composed of 315 Ronald McDonald Houses in 31 countries, 184 Ronald McDonald Family Rooms inside hospitals in 19 countries and 45 Ronald McDonald Care Mobiles in eight countries. We all work together to strengthen families during their most challenging times.

Working for Ronald McDonald House Charities of Memphis is by far the most rewarding job that I have ever had.

It's not often we are given the opportunity to do something we are passionate about. I have been given that opportunity on a daily basis, and if I could do it for free I would. When I finally hit that winning lottery ticket that is just what will happen.

If you are a mother, grandmother or aunt with a healthy child, give thanks on this Mother's Day and everyday for their health. Life can change in an instant, and it is my sincere hope that you never have to stay at a Ronald McDonald House. But be assured that if you do, there will be a House Mama there to greet you at the door, and to offer you a hug and a listening ear.

 
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As evidenced by the abundance of flower and jewelry commercials, Mother's Day is Sunday. I have often wondered how I would celebrate if I were a mother. But, in a way, I am. As a "House Mama" at th...
As evidenced by the abundance of flower and jewelry commercials, Mother's Day is Sunday. I have often wondered how I would celebrate if I were a mother. But, in a way, I am. As a "House Mama" at th...
 
 
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10:25 AM on 05/15/2012
God Bless all the House Mama's out there, your's is a position I don't think many could handle. To know that you will welcome so many children and families into your life and HEART to know that you will "lose them" either to the disease or happily to recovery, either way it must leave a little void each time you say goodbye.
10:40 AM on 05/14/2012
What a wonderful woman and great blog. I hope to read more from Sherri.
Pauline Jaing
Artist, worker, mother
05:46 PM on 05/13/2012
No you are not. Being a mother is a job you never get to go home from, and one that demands your utmost attentiion TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY for at least 3 years, and 15 hours a day for the following 15 years.

You are a very good person, a devoted person, who chose to take a job that does good, but a mother you are not.
10:21 AM on 05/15/2012
I see it differently, how do we know that she is not consumed by this 24 hours a day. I cannot imagine being able to just walk away and turn your mind and heart off when it comes to the suffering of these children and their families. As I see it she probably also serves as a mother to many of the parents. A mother is someone who sits down and listens to your cares and concerns and comforts you, I bet she fits that bill to a T. As we can see from the children who are abused and neglected, giving birth also does not make you a mother.
04:23 PM on 05/15/2012
I disagree. I seriously doubt that she "clocks out" at the end of a shift and puts all of the cares of those families out of her mind. I suspect that she is not only a mother to the children but also to the parents. Part of being a mother is listening when you need to talk and comforting in your time of need.

As evidenced by the number of children who are abused and neglected, giving birth does not make you a mother.

Thanks to all the House Mama's out there.
Pauline Jaing
Artist, worker, mother
06:33 PM on 05/15/2012
Worrying is not the same as going to pick up a child who is crying, and rock them for hours, and then HAVE to go to work the next day; its not the same as haivng to take a child who wakes up with a fever of 104 to the hospital, and having to go to work the next day or risk losing your job. It is not the same as BEING THERE all the time, every second, available, no matter what.

I'm sick of all these women who never had a child getting to claim they know everything about it; they do not. Even a grandmother knows she can enjoy the child but not have to endure the tiems when responsiblity is overwhelming.
09:00 AM on 05/13/2012
What a wonderful mom she is. I lost my son to cancer when he was 22 years old.
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keezze
09:40 PM on 05/12/2012
Happy Mothers day. You are my hero, god bless... You are a super mom a soccer mom a spiritual mom and just a plain ole regular mom all rolled up in one. Thanks Mom.
08:52 PM on 05/12/2012
SHERRI, you are the most caring "mother's" that I know.. your dedication and caring know no limits when it comes to the special kids in your care. you make a difference,,give a hug when need,, wipe a tear, hold a hand and lend a smile when they need one.. you are one very special lady..
love
nan
08:23 PM on 05/12/2012
You are lovely!