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8 Ways Resilient People Approach Life, Love and Success.

03/19/2016 09:55 am ET | Updated Mar 21, 2016
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Resilient people have a sense of grit at their core. They are persistent and tough-minded in the face of failure, loss, heartbreak, success and challenge. They are committed. Whatever they pursue is met with their full attention and nothing less. There is no amount of hard work they will shy away from if it means losing an opportunity to improve themselves or their lives. Because of this commitment they are able to resist the temptation to slack. They are able to stay focused, determined and resolute in the pursuit of their goals. They also know when to let go.

1. Past history is a wisdom teacher.

Resilient individuals see their past as the most valuable teacher. Past mistakes allow them to learn what not to repeat in their future. Once they have the lesson they do not harbor it and continue to carry any pain or embarrassment. They take inventory of what they have learned and make the necessary changes which need to be made. They know that in holding on to the past, it only keeps them in the place they were stuck. Mistakes are perfect opportunities to learn something valuable which wasn't understood before. The past doesn't define them, it trains them.

2. Take responsibility.

Resilient individuals see their lives as being largely under their own control. Luck has very little to do with success or failure. Luck is something the resilient create through persistence, a positive attitude, acting with kindness, and networking for more opportunities. Luck is the gift of never giving up. Like the Cowardly Lion said from the Wizard of OZ, "if you stay on the merry-go-round long enough you're bound to catch the brass ring"

The resilient do not think much about luck. They know if they succeed they caused it and if they fail, they caused it. Resilience and taking ownership of failures and successes are much more useful for living abundantly then worrying about when or if luck will strike. The resilient work hard, stay committed to their dreams and trust that all things will fall into place.

3. Prioritize well.

Resilience, like any virtue, does not come in an unlimited supply. Not every detail of life is always going to be under their influence, therefore, they let go of what they cannot control by prioritizing the aspects of their life they can push, nurture, promote, fix and maximize. Resilient people focus on their urgent 20% and their lives prove to increase more quickly than when they get stuck in the 80% of details which distract and hold them back. They have trained themselves to work smarter, not just harder, by knowing the difference between what is under their power and influence and what needs to be dismissed as useless worry, concern or simple distraction.

4. Happy for others.

The resilient do not entertain thoughts of lack. They hold a belief that there is enough success, love, beauty or happiness to go around, so when someone else takes the stage they do not have feelings of being diminished in any way. Rather, they feel excited and inspired watching others succeed. Any time you wish for the failure of another, you attract failure to yourself. For that reason the resilient support the success of others wholeheartedly.

Resilient people spend time around those who are as successful if not more successful than themselves. They choose to love up, live up, and think up so they can continue their growth in an upward fashion. They are inspired from within and love to inspire others. They are lovers of people. The resilient are aware their success can only increase through being influenced and inspired by the successful others they spend their time with.

5. Speak a language of happiness.

The resilient make very little time for "poor me," complaining, whining or martyring about how things are so bad in their lives. Words have power. Language is life. They believe that what they speak about is what they will live. Complaining has never proven to make people feel better or to become more successful, fulfilled or happy. If there is a failure the resilient find every way they can to turn their failure into a success by focusing on solutions not problems.

6. Competitive with themselves.

The resilient are not out to compete with others, what others have, their job titles, salaries or accomplishments. There is no need to one-up another person. The resilient are goal-oriented and only compete with themselves and the goals they set. Each goal achieved is a competition won.

To compete with others breeds low level emotions such an envy or resentment. They do not waste time in these traps of comparison as it only serves to weaken their spirits and their state of mind. The resilient are inspired from within, not without and therefore they only measure themselves against their own inner desires, goals and timelines.

7. Visionaries.

Resilient individuals never settle for less in love, life or career. They vision their short term and long term goals and make it a point to revisit them to measure their progress. The process of reviewing their goals and desires reminds them of why they are doing what they are doing and working so hard to do it. They find the meaning in their suffering in reflecting upon their goals.

As life progresses and people tire, mental fatigue or burnout can set in. We are all human. It's okay. The resilient know the key to reigniting their resilience is sitting in review of their tangible reminders, their visions, of what their longer term goals are. This keeps them motivated and on course. The resilient know it is these reminders which push them though their more exhausting and seemingly fruitless times in life, love or business.

8. Grateful.

The resilient take nothing for granted. They know that being intelligent, motivated, healthy, successful, loving and kind is not a right, it is a privilege. These individuals take time each day to count their blessings. It is easy to get side tracked on what they don't have or how far away they are from reaching a goal, but the resilient do not allow themselves to get emotionally down for too long into any type of negativity. They have trained themselves to focus on what they have, the abundance of love in their lives, and on how far they have come and all they have gained. It is this type of thinking which keeps them inspired, loving, successful and going forward in life.

Resilient people know that the experience of success, supportive love, being fit and healthy, and living life wholeheartedly taste much better than any momentary times of laziness, self-neglect or procrastination. The resilient believe that all of their hard work, and the patience which is also required, is worth it. They are adept at overcoming their fears to get done what needs to get done. Most importantly, they focus on the good in their lives. They learn from and appreciate their mistakes and rise higher after each fall. They do not allow a failure defeat them, rather failure is used to inspire them. This is the marker of resilience.

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