Sheryl Paul

We live under a massive cultural delusion about the nature of real love. Propagated by mainstream media, from the time you're born you're inundated with the belief that love is a feeling and that when you find "the one" you'll sense it in your gut and be overcome...

I'm a bit in awe of fear. I don't mean that I bow down to it anymore, but I'm continually amazed at how creative and convincing its voice can be, especially when we're caught in its grasp and working hard to loosen the fingers that keep us stuck. Once we...

One of the most challenging roadblocks on the healing journey is working with resistance. Many of my clients feel split between two opposing forces: One part of them longs for healing and the accompanying sense of joy and fulfillment, and the other part offers compelling reasons at every...

I've been thinking a lot about projection lately, especially since many of my engaged and newlywed clients and Conscious Weddings eCourse members have been perseverating on the thought, "I don't love him/her." This is such an important and complex topic that I've written about it several...

Transitions are always opportunities for growth and healing. Sometimes we need to heal ways of being in the world that are no longer serving us -- like some of my clients, who realize, through the wedding planning, that they're suffering from the "disease to please" and...

Your daughter is getting married! This is a momentous time in your life, a beautiful and awe-inspiring occasion for both of you. You are witnessing your little girl step into the full bloom of her womanhood, watching her as she stands on the precipice of an extraordinary transformation.

I had a client last year who, in her own words, suffered terribly from the "grass is always greener" syndrome. She had initially called me about two months before her wedding and couldn't stop crying throughout her session because she was so tortured by the thought that

People find me because they're in the throes of anxiety, and quite often the anxiety centers around their intimate relationship. They're taken down by a series of questions that cause them to fear whether or not they're in the "right" relationship or if they're making a "mistake." I've...

What's your idea of romance? If you live in the West, you probably think of romance as a feeling of being "in love." You think of red roses adorning white tablecloths, fine wine in crystal glasses, long evenings of staring into each other's eyes by candlelight, endless nights...

I don't recall how I first stumbled upon Recipes for a Perfect Marriage by Morag Prunty, but most likely it came from a recommendation from a member of the Conscious Weddings message board. I remember intially feeling put-off by the title as anything that contains the...

We're all aware of the sobering statistics that tell us that 50% of marriages end in divorce. We know that the modern marriage is vulnerable to a myriad of obstacles that couples must learn to navigate if their partnership is to succeed. We want to do everything we can to...

My clients come to me with a host of erroneous beliefs that inform their anxiety and confusion regarding their upcoming marriage. Some of these beliefs include thinking they're supposed to feel more in love during their engagement than ever and wondering if thoughts about an ex...

From Thanksgiving through Valentine's Day I receive a surge of emails that express some version of the following:

"My boyfriend just proposed and at first I was happy but within a few hours I started to panic. We've been together for a few years and have a great relationship: he's...

The power of fear never ceases to amaze me. When I initially entered the fear forest after my first panic attack at age 21 (three months before graduating from college), I prostrated myself at fear's feet. I handed over my thought processes and became a complete victim to...

Fear's entire mission in life is to keep you safe from the risk of loving. It sees love as a dangerous cesspool where the invisible sea creatures lurk beneath the dark surface, waiting to snatch you into their murky waters. Fear believes that if you risk your heart through committed...

My clients are always surprised, then relieved, to learn that thinking about an ex is a normal part of being engaged. As we spiral into deeper layers of transitions, our past comes floating to the surface of our thoughts, dreams, and emotional life. For some people, the past includes thoughts...

When my grandparents married in the 1930s, I'm quite certain neither one of them had the kind of engagement anxiety I see among people today. My grandmother did experience grief about leaving her mother and two sisters, and the difficult feelings were displaced onto her wedding dress and veil (a...

It's one of our culture's last taboos. We can discuss sex; we can talk about money; we can divulge the darkest secrets about our family history in blog posts and on forums. But when it comes to the fear, doubts, anxiety, and ambivalence that characterize thousands of women's engagement experience...