Hillary Sees Sense and Exits Gracefully

Show your support.
Buzz this article up.

• Share
• Print View
• Comments

That "graceful" exit 22% of the electorate have been waiting for all this time, as told to Jane Austen.

***

Settling herself at the bureau, her blonde hair curled pleasingly about her temples, she smoothed down her pantsuit, and took out her quill. With the venerable Mister Patrick Leahy's words still ringing in her ears, Hillary began to write - and oh! what a beautiful missive, what a graceful exit...

"Sir, I shall stand in your way no longer. Despite the generosity you exhibited in remarking that I was "welcome" to stay in the race (how kind you are!), the stark reality that neither of us is capable of an outright victory among the pledged delegates has persuaded me of the folly - indeed the willful absurdity - of continuing my little "campaign."

Finding myself almost one whole percentage point behind your good self, and with only a few millions of persons yet to vote, it seems absurd for me to continue. In fact, it was presumptuous of me ever to have entertained the idea that a woman in possession of a progressive policy agenda should be in want of high office.

I shall retire to the drawing room forthwith, and trouble you no further with these trifling notions of universal health care and what I heard the ubiquitous Mister Blitzer refer to as a "moratorium on home foreclosures." What a brutish phrase that is, and certainly not one a young lady - or indeed a lady of any age - should like to grapple with!

I hear that some of your associates have been discussing my "ambition" and I am afraid I must be honest with you, Sir: I do have a lamentable and most unladylike ambition. The chief element of which is to allow each and every one of the villagers a bed in the hospital - a farfetched notion, I concede, but one I'm afraid I have been wedded to these many years.

Truth be told, it shall be of great consolation to me in my dotage that you ran such a wonderfully positive campaign. Through all your talk of how divisive and calculating and ruthless and lacking in judgement and dishonest and deceptive I am, that positivity has shone through like a beacon of hope. Every assertion of my monstrosity and flaws was always more than compensated for by your embrace of a new kind of politics.

Furthermore, those comments have been most illuminating and helpful to me. You see, all these years I have been labouring under the foolish misapprehension that I was a dedicated public servant, motivated by a sense of justice and compassion, and working for the good of the poorest, and most vulnerable in the parish - most particularly for the local women and children in need of medical attention. Yet I now see that what I had mistaken for sense and sensibility was all the while nothing short of pride and prejudice. I thank you for opening my eyes to it!

The moment of absolute certainty came when I read your perceptive comments on the fairer sex. "I understand that Senator Clinton, periodically when she's feeling down, launches attacks as a way of trying to boost her appeal". Alas, Sir, I am burdened with the weakness of my gender, and only wonder that I did not realise sooner how unsuited I was to this gentleman's profession. I have quite clearly outstayed my welcome - as the people of Pennsylvania are making abundantly clear both to me, and to the exotically named Mister Zogby.

To conclude, Sir, may I let you into my confidence? I suspect that Brigadier McCain, who is fast approaching his ninety eighth birthday, will attempt to make you look like a schoolboy barely out of short trousers. But do not be alarmed, good sir: your self-evident achievements and impressive record over more than three decades years on the parish council will speak for themselves amidst the russet hues of autumn.

I hope that this long overdue departure is achieved with as much grace as is possible for someone merely likeable enough to muster, and am, Sir,

most sincerely yours etc

H. Clinton.

P.S.

I am in absolute agreement with you that the voters of Florida and Michigan should not be furnished with the opportunity of having their voices heard afresh, and I commend you for your foresight - as I'm sure Brigadier McCain will when he reminds them of it in November."

Comments

[cs577]

I am not American. However, I am interested in the elections since the States are a rather powerful country and influence world politics on a big scale. I am at the same time far from being an expert on the subject and I have to admit that I'm still having trouble understanding the whole system in the first place.

Nevertheless there are some things that have bugged me in what I have seen, heard and read. The election shouldn't be about gender or race as neither influence the ability to be a politician. Second of all, the endorsement of celebrities has got completely out of hand. The support of celebrities is okay but it's like a competition. Obama is supported by god knows how many A-Listers. Is there not the possibility that merely that fact will get him the votes? After all, it is the country of Ronald Reagan and the Governator! Might people not actually forget about important issues because a chorus of celebrities is chanting "Yes, we can!"? And Hillary has joined in. Even McCain has voiced his excitement on being supported by Heidi Montag of MTV's "The Hills".

It is only natural that you'd vote for someone you find likeable. But that shouldn't overcome the seriousness of the agenda. It shouldn't be about who supports whom, but maybe about who supports whom for what reason. Scarlett Johansson may say that she is "engaged" to Obama but I haven't heard her explain why...

[johntal]

In fact, it may be her pride and prejudice that does her in

[Jimbo62]

It amazes me that Clinton people cling to this 1% point lead as if it were a poll with a margin of error or something. The whole notion that someone wins when they get one more vote than the other has now been put on the scrap heap. The last I saw, Barack was over 700,000 votes ahead of her in the popular vote............that's almost a million people, but when referred to as 1%, of course it doesn't seem like much. Why don't we apply the same % to the number of states won by each. Is it still 1%, but oh yes, small states don't really count, small states don't have people in them, but some sort of 1/2 people or something. Now I understand that people who have drank the Kool-aid poored by the Clinton camp have trouble dealing with reality, and I blame the Kool-aid, not the people for this. But as an observer of the political process and standing back and looking at the situation on the whole, Hillary has run a dreadful campaign and does not deserve to be president of a small community college, let alone the US.

[mhs]

and the last i saw...roughly 900,000 people voted for hillary in Florida...hmmm. according to you that is a lot of people! you may say Senator Clinton has run a bad campaign, but i am quite happy that she has not chosen to market herself like a can a coke.

[DJShay]

Hillary Clinton as a public servant? Not in this lifetime. Yes, she's a senator and has worked in politics for many years, but don't kid yourself that she's doing it for the sake of "the people". She and Bill are ruthless in their quest for power. If any of their decisions benefit the citizens, it's just an afterthought. I don't think for a minute she's sincere about anything other than winning.

[Syco]

Wow this guy is obviously stupid.

[ReasonIsMyReligion]

Mafterpiefe Theater hath doth cometh to HuffPo.

Worth a repeat:
"Through all your talk of how divisive and calculating and ruthless and lacking in judgement and dishonest and deceptive I am, that positivity has shone through like a beacon of hope. "

[ATLiberal]

What tiresome drivel. It was neither funny nor inciteful. Sheer hackery and not even a good Jane Austen imitation.

[BitJam]

What about a "thank you" for the right wing smears against Obama that came out of Canada a few days before Ohio and Texas voted?

What about a "thank you" to the Canadian prime minister who waited until after the Texas and Ohio votes before denouncing the smears as blatantly unfair to Obama?

What about a big "thank you" to Rush Limbaugh who, according to the Boston Globe, gave her her victory in Texas and half her margin of victory in Ohio?

Without all their help she would have been forced to drop out a month ago. Doesn't a proper lady give credit where credit is due?

[TinaFreeman]

Are you nuts? Why are you trying to make this into a gender issue? This is the most pathetic drivel I have read on Huffpo in a long time.

She campaigned. It looks like she won't win. It's not the end of the world, nor the end of women's rights as we know it.

Life goes on, dude. This is wacked.

[VicPerry]

This column is about the last gasp of the "Hillary is being attacked because she's a woman" argument. In the Huffington Post this argument has involved bringing in Anne Boleyn, Joan of Arc, Eleanor Roosevelt, and now Jane Austen. (Why not: Evita Peron, Isabella of Castille, Margaret Thatcher?) Haven't heard as much about it lately....it went the way of "Obama is getting a free ride from the media" I believe...

[CaptainObvious]

Are you even an American Citizen? Why do you care?

[johntal]

What kind of a twit believes that only Americans have any vested interests in Yank politics when outcomes affect all world citizens?

[Countess]

Her actual letter should read more like this: I apologize to all Americans and especially democrats for my slimy campaign based on race baiting, religious smears and outright lies. I was in shock once I saw that my young challenger actually might beat me in a campaign of ideas so I decided to get dirty and pull out all the stops to win the nomination I believed was due me. Please forgive me for having dragged the party and the nation down into the gutter. I wish now to accept my defeat at the hands of a better candidate and become a positive voice for change. Sincerely yours,
Hillary Clinton

[wingman1]

Agree. My countryman Mr Woods is employing a selective memory and has neglected to factor in the lies about Tuzla, the crass and below-the-belt 'as far as I know', and a hundred other recent Clintonisms. As a character from English literature Hillary Rodham Clinton is more like one of Dickens' nastier characters than a genteel lady from Jane Austen's novels.

[elderly]

Do all the people she wants to afford hospital beds to include the hundreds of thousands injured in the war that she enabled.

Further, stop the bullshit about her lacking in judgment to see what Bush was up to in 2002. Hillary Clinton knew as well as the democrats who voted against the war resolution in 2002 what the resolution would lead to. Simply put, she made a calculated judgment that voting for the resolution would provide her with the "commander in chief veritas" that is required to get the vote of the simpletons who dominate our electorate; she put her own political ambitions ahead of the safety and security of our children and this nation, pure and simple.

In fact, her actions are completely consistent with the thought process of all of the Clintons.