"So, what are your plans after college?"
"Do you have a job lined up yet?"
"Are you ready for the real world?"
"Are you ready for the real world?"
If I hear this question one more time I swear my head will explode. For my fellow early 20-somethings graduating college this month, I'm sure you can relate. Let me explain why I despise this phrase, "the real world" and why you should consider flipping your thinking about it.
Society continues to use the phrase "the real world," time and time again to describe a seemingly abominable life after college. I am about to graduate on May 21st and those words make me cringe.
We view this "real world" as some horrible tumultuous place of monotony and painstaking responsibility, never to live up to the glory, ease and freedom of the college years -- a trap of some sorts. For many it can be, but only if you view it in that way. The choice is yours and your attitude will dictate your reality.
What even is "the real world?" Let me ask you this: Is the world we are currently living in not real? Yes, I understand it is merely an expression to describe two very different and separate life experiences, a categorical metaphor to label a specific time of life. However, this type of thinking and negativity towards "the real world" concept, is the very mindset that will trap you.
I will admit that I often find myself afraid of this place we call "the real world" and many of my peers are daunted by the same fear. It's easy to feel that life will never be this good again. We can all agree that college is a special time and there is a reason that we have been warned so much about this "real world." But my problem with this phrase is the extreme negative connotation it holds, projecting an anxiety-driven future that can easily begin to consume your world.
The buildup for the transitional phase of life between being a full-time college student and a full-time adult is like none other in American culture. Within a societal interpretation for college students, "the real world" is a place where people don't give a crap about your feelings, where money dictates actions, where you have to fight and claw your way to "success" and where greed and fear will bury your hopes and dreams. By continuing to anticipate the "real world" in this way, my peers and I are falling into a matrix of fear and negativity.
But what if we flipped our attitude around? What if we consolidated all of our fear and channeled that energy to a place of positivity? Maybe that sounds too idealistic, but I believe one's mindset is everything. A negative mindset projects a negative outcome. Reality is merely our perception.
I am not claiming to know what life as an adult out of college is like because I have not experienced it yet. I am aware "the real world" will be far from easy and I'm sure I will have my fair share of failures and struggles because let's face it, life is tough. But creating an imaginary future based on worry and negativity is not going to help.
Here's the truth: the real world is right now.
Think about the real world as a constant. Every moment is as real as the next and that sense of presence is important to remember. Yes, life will always throw bricks at us and inevitably during major transitions in life. But if you can learn to see the value in this and appreciate every experience as a learning opportunity, even when things get tough, then surely life will throw you more flowers than bricks.
I dare say that the looming future of "the real world" does not exist. It is merely a fabrication of society and culture's expectations along with our own understanding of the world we live in. It's what we are told.
Placing such a pessimistic label on the future, is projecting negativity upon something that is not even guaranteed. The future does not yet exist and time spent agonizing and worrying about its outcome is energy wasted while we could be appreciating the here and now instead.
I have fallen into the trap of fear, self-doubt and expectations in the past. Luckily, I learned to find solace from these evils of life through practice. Meditation, gratitude and self-awareness have allowed me to find the present in a fulfilling way. These practices have allowed me to enjoy life to a far greater extent than I ever have. It has empowered me to take back much of the wonder I previously lost by constantly stressing about outcomes.
With graduation less than two weeks away, I am doing my best to enjoy every second with presence and gratitude. Yes, soon I will leave a very special place that I have fallen in love with over the course of four years, and no, things will never be the same.
The "real world" does not need to have a negative connotation.
I am setting the intention now. No matter what happens, the real world will be incredible, full of learning, excitement, opportunity and a growing understanding and compassion for myself and my place in the world. The real world is right here, right now and my arms are wide open.