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Annette Grieshaber's Comments

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The Worst Thing A Woman Can Do In Divorce Proceedings - The Abuse Of Orders of Protection

Commented Apr 22, 2011 at 17:26:50 in Divorce

“Unfortunately, actually having the lying party prosecuted for perjury is hardly ever done. It is an extraneous legal expense that few can afford to take on. I wish I had the finances to seek retribution for the list my boyfriend's ex-wife spread about me when she obtained a TRO against me. However, I don't, and at least now the TRO is dismissed.

I strongly believe that a person seeking any protective order should have to provide proof in order to get the order. Recorded phone calls, pictures, harassing or threatening e-mails, photos of bruises from physical attacks, police reports...SOMETHING. Until that part of the process is amended, women will continue to abuse obtaining protective orders to further their own agendas in divorce and custody cases. At least in our case it backfired. My boyfriend's ex did not walk away with anything in the divorce except primary physical custody (she worked less than my boyfriend did), 50% of the community debt, and child support. Oh, and what she stole from the marital residence. And now, she just lost custody and has to pay part of our attorney's fees.”
huffingtonpost entry

The Worst Thing A Woman Can Do In Divorce Proceedings - The Abuse Of Orders of Protection

Commented Apr 22, 2011 at 17:22:51 in Divorce

“I'm actually a victim of a wrongly sought TRO, and so is my boyfriend. We live together, he and his ex-wife went through a nasty divorce 3 years ago, and this last spring also went through a nasty custody battle, which his ex-wife LOST. When she initially filed for divorce, she got an Order of Protection against him first, and then had him served with the OOP and the divorce papers simultaneously. The OOP not only banned him from the marital residence, but it gave his ex the ability to take everything out of the home, establish her own residence with the children, and not tell him where they were. He didn't see the kids for 2 months. He got back into the marital residence 3 months later, found it trashed, and found only a bed, the TV, and an old dining room set that had been in storage. EVERYTHING else was taken from the house and he never got anything back. When my presence in the children's lives became more permanent, his ex took out a restraining order against me. Why? Because she objected to my helping my boyfriend parent the kids by taking them to doctor's appointments. I had the TRO dismissed, but my boyfriend never fought his for fear of having a domestic violence judgement made against him. After all, he is the man in the relationship, and who knows what other lies his ex would have come up with to make the OOP stick.”

John Dias on Apr 28, 2011 at 16:39:02

“It's a bad thing that we have bogus OOPS. OOPS are no fun. Oops!”
A Lesson In Creating Boundaries

A Lesson In Creating Boundaries

Commented Apr 22, 2011 at 16:49:38 in Divorce

“As divorce rates have risen over the last 10 years, so have the number of blended families put together with second marriages and step-children. As a step-parent myself, I've never looked at the kids as untouchable, and I've never seen it as my job to accommodate them in our home. My boyfriend (yes, boyfriend, and we live with his kids) and I agreed long ago that I had the same rights in the home that he did, with the exception of corporal punishment, so the kids are NEVER spanked. That's the only difference. We set up boundaries together. We've taught the children to respect our things and our space, just the same way. The way we see it, my being the step-parent doesn't mean that the kids get to walk all over me, and that doesn't mean I have to tiptoe around them. I accommodate guests in my home, because they are only there for a short time. The kids? They live with us and we try and think of ourselves like any normal family would - there are rules about respecting each other and listening to the adults, there are bedtimes, there are veggies that must be eaten at dinner, rooms will be cleanes, and beds will be made. I don't feel like I'm overstepping any bounds by parenting the kids. I'm just doing simply that - parenting them, and even though I'm not their mother, there's nothing wrong with that.”

ProfWrightBSU on Apr 22, 2011 at 19:56:57

“if the only thing you aren't doing is corporal punishment you aren't missing anything. on those few occasions where it might indeed be necessary (do you have boys?), you wouldn't be the first mother to throw out a 'wait until your father gets home'.”

martie345 on Apr 22, 2011 at 19:01:53

“I agree with you. Kids need rules, boundaries. They will not go to bed or clean their rooms
unless they're told to do it. That's what kids do. I have every right to enforce these rules.
They will always push and test to see what they can get away with. Just because I'm not
their mom does'nt mean they can do what ever they want. We're the parents they are the
kids.”