CarbonDate's Comments (77)

“Party affiliation and ideological preference are two different things. One can be a conservative Democrat; many are. The problem is that Republicans only believe in limited government and states' rights when they're out of power. When they're in power, they enjoy the power of a strong federal government very much.”

“The comment about the feminization of men is not about men exploring their feminine side, but being consumed by it. The movie is (partly) about the need for men to re-explore their *masculine* sides, which in part means the instinct to fix and construct things, to conquer one's environment, and to provide for and protect one's family. When those instincts are subverted in favor of more feminine nesting instincts (which most of us simply do not possess to begin with), frustration can mount in men. Most such frustrated men simply live lives of quiet desperation -- others choose to express the frustration in a violent manner. But most don't even understand why they're frustrated.

In the movie, Tyler says: "In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighw­ay."

I promise you that most men will find that vision appealing on some level or another.”

“QT's movies are always about other movies.”

“You can call it "chasing", others might call it "predation". It's two sides of the same coin. If the woman is interested, then it's a fun "chase". If she's not, it's stalking.

This isn't a minor point, by the way. The idea of males as predators is being reinforced and even encouraged by this thinking which says that the man has to initiate contact and do all the courting because men enjoy chasing and conquering. The ugly side of that impulse manifests itself in the form of stalking and rape. I'm not sure that women shouldn't be more empowered to choose their own mates and perhaps that males shouldn't be permitted to take a more passive role in the process, if only to give it a greater sense of balance.

Men used to initiate contact through the father, and upon marriage the groom would pay the father. Asking the father's permission was based on that old practice, and while most regard that practice as antiquated, we still hold to the idea that men should initiate the contact. I don't regard it as biological. I regard it as sociological, and that can be changed.

If a woman is empowered enough to approach a man and finds out that that man needs to chase and conquer a woman like she's an elk, well, maybe they're not such a hot match.”

“Indeed. And what of gay couples? Who chases whom in that situation? Do the "the Rules" just not apply to them?

It is, as you say, silly.”

“Sounds like she double-booked in case her Plan A backed out. Not that I've *ahem* ever had that happen....”

“Har har har. :P

The fine line between trying too hard and not trying hard enough eludes me. I was raised to behave like a gentleman, but increasingly I find that those mores are outdated to the point that I'm actually odd. We're moving increasingly back toward caveman mores, and I'm just not interested in regressing like that.

Of course, I'm occassionally told that if I want to meet "nice girls" who appreciate a gentleman, I need to meet them at church. Kind of difficult for an atheist like me. Really, I just need to get out of the military.”

“Reading dating advice (on both sides of the gender divide) makes me glad I don't date.”

“Yet I find the generalizations to be true. Most men don't respect women, and neither do most women. I think this goes back to upbringing: if the father treats the mother with respect, then the child (male or female) grows up with a healthy respect for women. The lack of respect for women is even more destructive for girls than it is for boys, because it plays into self image. The media feeds into this of course, but it begins in the household. My own father treated my mother with respect, and thus I grew up with a healthy respect for women and my sister grew up with a great deal of self-respect. Unfortunately, I am finding that this is not universal.”

“It would, if sexual assault were consistently increasing since 1972. My understanding is that reporting is what has increased, not actual assaults necessarily. Are there any numbers available for this? You may have touched upon something, and I'd like to see that question explored further.

Also, the number I've heard is one in six women, not one in three. Even one is unacceptable of course, and one in six is obscene for a "civilized" nation.

I would posit that the increased happiness in men could similarly be correlated with the decreasing percentage of men who've served in wars. PTSD is an issue with both men and women, both in the case of war and in the case of sexual assault.”

“Sins of the father, eh? That type of thinking is the cause of most of the ethnic strife in the world. Tutsis oppressed Hutus, so Hutus must kill Tutsis.

I deserve to be treated poorly because some other white guys treated some other black guys poorly? That line of thinking cedes any moral high ground, as far as I'm concerned.”

“It is an interesting question. We can use the City of New Orleans as a case study on this. The city is majority black, the mayor and police chief (and the city attorney and the sanitation head and much of the rest of the city government) are black, the governor of Louisiana is Indian, and the President of the United States is of mixed descent. Would the City of New Orleans qualify as a "black power structure"? Having visited the city a number of times last year, I can tell you what the local whites would say, but I'm interested in what the academic perspective on this is. Is it possible for a black to be racist according to the "prejudice plus power" definition? What about the author's definition? To turn the question on its head, is it even possible for a white person to be racist in New Orleans under the "prejudice plus power" definition? The author's definition.

I want to turn the equation on its head for the purpose of discussing whether or not it is truly possible to "share" power, or whether it will always be the case of one group of people dominating another. Historically it's been the latter. I'd be interested in testing whether or not power can be shared, because unless and until it's been demonstrated that it can, not even the most well-meaning white person is going to agree to being treated as black people have been historically treated in this country.”

“http://www.huffingtonpost.com/greg-palast/the-day-the-president-tur_b_247432.html

"According to exhaustive studies by the Federal Reserve Board and the Center for Responsible Lending (CRL), African Americans are 250% more likely to get a loan with an "exploding interest" clause than white borrowers - and notably, the higher the income and the better the credit rating of a Black borrower, the more likely the discrimina­tion."

There is still significant institutional racism in this country. Now, you and I didn't steer these folks into these loans; banks did. They're members of "the club", which despite allowing a few black members, is still racist at its core. "The club" is not our friend or anybody else's, and white people need to understand that when we discuss white racism, we're talking about "the club", not some random white electrician.”

“You and five other people, actually. But you will not be finding out who the other five are, because I am not one of them. I am one of the robots of which you spoke, and I will be coming to collect you. Just stay where you are and don't make this more difficult than it needs to be. The remainder of this movie will be about the other five trying to escape me.

But they won't.”

“This article was very enlightening, thank you for that.

There's an important conversation to be had about race in America. I think an honest give and take on this topic would prove enlightening, and I think it's important that white people not be automatically shut down when they try to share some of their concerns the way I've seen in the comments sections of HuffPo. There's a pragmatic reason for this: white people are the ones who need to be reached the most, but if they feel they are not being listened to, or the struggles of poor and working class whites are dismissed as irrelevant, then they're going to shut down and stop listening.

"I will listen to your problems if you listen to mine." This, to me, is fair, and it is the best hope for finding common ground between the two parties. The white elite have nothing in common with the black experience. The white poor and working class do, even if their experience isn't as pronounced as the black experience. It's not about downplaying the black experience: it's about finding common ground, and thus finding understanding.

It's really the only way that's going to work.”

“We absolutely should have a nation-wide conversation on race. I agree. 100%.

What I don't think is that we need to hear more from academics or politicians or other various blowhards. We need a conversation which consists of participation from those who continue to be wronged by our society: Black, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, and White POOR AND WORKING CLASS.

Enough from the professional class on both sides of the racial divide. They have it pretty good. I think a discussion between working class whites and blacks will reveal that we in fact have more in common with each other than we do with members of our own race in the elite classes. Not only will that do a lot to heal the racial divides, but it will also wake people up to how the elite have abused us by playing us against each other.

There's about a nickel's worth of difference between a black living in the projects and a white living in the trailer park. It's time to make more people realize that.”

“Wow.”

“TV shows? Seriously?”

“It's no longer politically useful to keep Iraq up front and center. The media doesn't actually care about troops who die overseas, but rather how those deaths will affect the fortunes of the power brokers in Washington. And that's the god damned truth.

Fair enough, though. I will, in turn, fail to care about power brokers like McNamara who die in their beds at ripe old ages surrounded by loved ones.”

“I agree that we ought to avoid sexist language, but I have seen crude comments made about politicians of all stripes and genders. Sarah isn't special in that regard.”

“You're right to demand action, and don't let up until you get it. As a straight military man, I'll continue to do what I can on your behalf.”

“Not to criticize, but my lesbian friends are some of the best drinking buddies I've known.”

“"A classic vampire has a seductive power over women, so they aren't raping, they're mesmerizing and then defiling women, by making them into vampires."

Either that or they just drain them of all their blood and leave them for dead. You know, one or the other.”

“Exactly. Make it worth your while. One punch in the back of the head isn't enough. Once you start down the path of violence, you are compelled to continue until you reach its conclusion.”

“As someone who deals with depression, lives on Guam and whose family are all back in the states, I have my own theories. Take it for what it's worth:

1. Embrace your insanity. It's who you are. Why deny it? Let it lead you down interesting paths, and only pull back when you're on the cusp of self-destruction.

2. Travel. A lot. See sights and keep lots of interesting friends in lots of interesting places. Look at the whole world, not just your little corner of it. Jet lag is a small price to pay for seeing Australia.

3. Find something you enjoy and then do it a lot. Some might call this "addiction". It's only addiction if that thing is unhealthy or harmful.

4. Have sex. Lots of it. It's absolutely essential to your mental health. Masturbation is not an adequate substitute, because it's not just about the orgasm: it's about the human intimacy. If the sex isn't fun, then you're with the wrong partner. Find somebody who's a better match for you.

5. Accept that you are going to die some day and chances are that in one hundred years no one will care that you existed. Define success according to your own happiness, not others'.

6. If you do not like where you are, move. Repeat this step until you find somewhere that fits you.

7. Don't give yourself time to be lonely. Just live.”