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Dehobe's Comments

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The Smile That Turned My Day Around

The Smile That Turned My Day Around

Commented Dec 3, 2012 at 10:48:32 in Parents

“I am a single mom of 6 children, 5 of whom are adopted and all with "special needs". We did not know that all of them would have needs greater than "normal". My husband and I divorced.
When they were little, ages 1-7, I took them to the recreation center. My 3 year threw a temper tantrum. I attempted to pick him up, but was unable with his kicking and screaming. I managed to get him to my Suburban and had one of my 7 year olds help me get the seat belt around him after he continued to "buck his body" at my attempts to get the seat belt over his car seat. Needless to say no one asked me if I needed help. Instead someone called the police because every time I tried to move the seat belt over him to connect it he moved. The seat belt kept locking into place and I was struggling. I did not raise my voice I just kept trying to get him under control. The police were called and I figured they would be. I did not go home right away instead went and washed my SUV and returned to the house with all the children much calmer. I had to prove to the police that I did not harm him. This was only the beginning of dealing with the police in the city to prove I was not harming my children.”
5 Things Not To Say To Divorced Moms

5 Things Not To Say To Divorced Moms

Commented Feb 20, 2012 at 11:58:54 in Divorce

“I was married for over 16 years. Due to infertility issues it took us 8 years to have a bio child, I was over 40 years when I had him. We adopted 6 "special needs" children. I worked as an in-home childcare provider and he worked 2 full-time jobs to support the children and live comfortably. To say the least I was overwhelmed, grieving and depressed. I was caring for our 'special needs" children ages 1-7, 6 children.
When people ask about the divorce I know I did not sign the adoption papers by myself and I tell them that. I have to get food stamps and now will finally get low-income housing. I never wanted to rely on getting help from state programs. The best advice I can give to the "snoopers" is to have them show up at your door with cleaning supplies in hand to help clean, or give the single parent a few hours of time to do something just for her/him. If this message gets to at least one person out there that can lend a hand to a single parent then this message has done what I hoped it would do. If the person is asking to help then answer, but if they are just asking to be snooping then don't answer.”
5 Things Not To Say To Divorced Moms

5 Things Not To Say To Divorced Moms

Commented Feb 20, 2012 at 11:32:47 in Divorce

“I never thought I would be a single mom and struggled for years to raise my children ages 1-7, 6 children. My ex and I adopted five of the children, all with "special needs". He couldn't take it and left to live "happily ever after" with his affair. He had worked 2 full-time jobs to support the family while I did "in-home childcare". I could never make enough according to him and needed to take care of more children for childcare (he didn't care that I was at the limit for caring for children set by DHS). Now I am sure he had many affairs and this woman was the only one who would take him. He was engaged even before he moved out of the our house. We went from having many materialistic "things" to now losing my house to a short-sale, lost my job and 2 of my children who did not see their adopted dad and had major mental illness. I was lost them to foster care due to being overwhelmed and stressed as a parent. I have to write this because you don't always know who you are marrying. We were married for over 16 years and I thought I knew him.”