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Kene Ofili's Comments

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Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Commented Mar 18, 2011 at 04:00:17 in Divorce

“I have to commend the author, Sharyn Wolf, as I read a lot of blogs and posts but never have I been compelled to put my thoughts down until today. I always make comments to myself and that was about it. This article actually touched my soul.
It is just fascinating how common these problems are. I have been married for 25yrs and known my wife from college some 33yrs ago. In the last 10yrs everything just changed and I get blamed for almost all that does not go well between us. After reading most of these posts it is clear to me that she does not want to make our marriage work anymore, the one reason in my opinion is the lousy economic situation. But she keeps going back 10, 15yrs ago to events that happened then. I have pleaded with her several times: no matter how times you bring them back, it will not changed what has happened, learn from that experience and move forward. In fact, after reading about the 7yr itch and the 16yr stuff, I am convinced for my sanity and happiness I need to end it now no matter how difficult. I know it will be difficult for me especially after all I invested in the relationship for the last 33 years.
I actually had a good life.
My dad used to say count your blessings, I wish Sharon the best of luck and God bless everyone.
Thank you much.”

sharynwolf on Mar 18, 2011 at 08:50:23

“THank you very much for your reponse to my blog, and I wish you the best--whatever happens.
Sharyn Wolf”

legi on Mar 18, 2011 at 04:49:19

“I know what you mean. More than half of my first marriage was pure hell for that very reason. Every time he got mad at me for one thing, everything I had ever said or done that he didn't like was thrown back at me, though we had supposedly dealt with those things and moved on. Once you made him angry, you could never really be forgiven for it. It was always lurking, ready to beat you with whenever something didn't go to suit him. And it just battered all the trust and intimacy in our marriage. It got so that every night, I dreaded coming home from work and I'd go to bed with my face buried in my pillow so he couldn't hear me cry. If your spouse refuses to try, there's not much you can do alone.

The good news is, there is life after. I finally moved on myself and things are so much better! I'm happy in the life I've grown into. I'm grateful for the good times we did have, forgive the bad ones, and enjoy what I have now.

Change, even good change, isn't easy because it requires us to step out into unfamiliar territory and exercise parts of ourselves we've never used or that have lain dormant for so long. But that's a good thing. I think it keeps us vital and young at heart. I wish you much success and every happiness!”