“I think he's saying that he shouldn't need to address it because it shouldn't be something that needs addressing. Why does it matter if he is gay or not? As long as people are "forced" to identify as one or the other and come out or stay in, that just perpetuates the idea of heterosexuality as normal and otherwise as abnormal. I think he wants to get away from that. I applaud what he said.”
DarkZephyr on Sep 16, 2013 at 02:53:13
“Hmmm. I think you are giving him some slightly extra credit, but its cool. It was pointed out to me that the "they" in question were cruel rumor mongers. I guess my issue came from the fact that I thought it was just normal people wondering. I don't think curiosity is a bad thing, personally. If he wants to be private, that is his right, but that doesn't make regular people who are curios villains for being curious. Curiosity is a natural thing. ”
“I was a music teacher for K-5 students and now work with high schoolers. Don't underestimate what the wee ones will understand. Give them more credit.”
imtruthmonger on Dec 12, 2012 at 20:33:09
“Thanks so much for your response. My attempt was to limit the breadth of my response to the situation at hand. I have children (grown now) but a five year-old who even chooses shoes like this isn't worldly. That said, I give them all the credit in the world for potentially understanding the place they've landed in. IMHO, it's unrealistic to think that he currently is able to fully grasp this singular issue.
Call me a mother hen but really, I seriously wouldn't want to see him harmed in any way until he is demonstrably capable of "getting it." You, as a teacher, must be intimately cognizant of the potential negative consequences of throwing a virgin to the wolves and hoping for the best. ”
“But don't you think it would be possible for you son to help stop the cycle of judgment imposed by society? If everyone always runs away from the issue for fear of being hurt a little then that just promotes that the stronger player is judgment rather than individuality. I'd flippin buy him a pink zebra top to match!! Sh*t!!”
imtruthmonger on Dec 11, 2012 at 23:14:25
“"But don't you think it would be possible for you son to help stop the cycle of judgment imposed by society?"
Of course, when he's old enough to understand what causes fear in others, and why certain people who are fearful do the things they do to protect themselves from fearful things they are taught to fear by older people. He's only five years old; how much do you expect him to understand about the "way of the world"?”
“Thanks! I'm 26 now and have been with my hubs since I was 20 so... yikes... that's a while. But we're having fun. My cousin came out in high school and was kind of a wreck, but now that is out of the piece-o-shh. town he was in, he is amazing and awesome.
Life gets so exciting when you can just be you. I hope that my (future) kids are able to just be their own selves and not worry about any pre-conceived ideas about life. It would help if Disney finally got it together with a gay fairytale... I mean really...”
AllenMcw on Dec 2, 2012 at 22:17:54
“I hear you. You know I just turned 51 several days ago and I'm not getting any younger if you know what I mean.
YET I am truly optimistic at this point that I will actually live long enough to see the day we have FULL EQUALITY and mind you I'm not just talking about Marriage Equality, I'm talking about the whole enchilada! :)
Do I sound TOO optimistic?
It is just that I'm seeing changes start to happen at an ever quickening pace that I would not have thought possible even just 5 years ago.
One thing I do know for sure is that the young generation of TODAY will grow up in a much more inclusive and accepting society than what I did! And that alone is reason for celebration!! :)
Teenagers of today will still have to continue the fight but the ones who are say less than 7 or 8 may actually not have any fights left to deal with in terms of LGBTQ Equality..”
“Before I say anything else - I can't wait for the day in this world where this question is irrelevant. The day when "when did you realize you're gay" gets an equally "uh... always" kind of response as the opposite side of the question. That will be a cool day. I am so thankful that my nieces and nephews are growing up just knowing diversity and growing up from day one through rainbow colored glasses. Kids truly are born to love and taught to hate.
Anyway, I knew when I was in high school and didn't admit it to myself until college when this guy (now husband) sort of pushed me out of the closet whether I liked it or not. I look back and think about my singing, crocheting, acting, female friends, other gay buddies, etc and I think holy damn... why did it take so freakin long? I told my mom about my friend "John" years before I accepted it for myself. When I finally told her she said "oh Dave I thought you were going to tell me when you told me about 'John.'" Wah, wah.... she knew before I did. So... I look back and things make soooo much sense, I was just really naive and wasn't aware of myself in high school or early college.”
jonredbird on Dec 3, 2012 at 15:19:43
“WOW Davi, sould like a whole new world for you , congrats to you and you hubby. Big hug to your Mom for the support she has given you as well. Best of luck to you and you're family. Later gator. JR”
AllenMcw on Dec 2, 2012 at 18:21:09
“" Kids truly are born to love and taught to hate"
Now that is sums it up about as well as I have ever seen it done! :)
And yours is a wonderful story and I know the feeling I did not come to terms with mine until I was 28! (I'm still waiting for my story to be approved by a moderator)
“How is the government a problem there? Or is the people running it? I'm not sure that the idea of government is so bad as much as the conservatives who wave around their religious fingers. Thoughts?”
scollingsworth on Nov 5, 2012 at 16:15:16
“The Massachusetts government isn't a problem... the problem is the Federal Government, and not being able to leave my social security to my husband, that we had to pay $1500 to have his name changed through the courts because the State Department wouldn't accept his name change when he applied for his passport, things of that nature. Funny thing is the IRS had no problem with his name change, and he was able to get a Social Security card fine with the marriage license. ”
“I'm lucky that I live in Iowa where we have marriage but I feel so strongly for those states that are fighting for it still. I can't understand why religion is still an issue. It is very clear in the constitution... very clear.”
scollingsworth on Nov 4, 2012 at 11:53:47
“I live in MA and was married the first day we were allowed, but the Federal Government is still a problem.”
“No... we want RELIGION out of marriage. The states are the only thing granting marriage to us. If we could ever actually separate bigoted religious folk from their political stature then we could have full government recognition and inclusion of citizens as it is stated in the constitution of the United States. Until we get religion out of the mix well.. we're f*cked.”
scollingsworth on Nov 4, 2012 at 10:38:09
“Exactly. I can already find CHURCHES to marry me and my husband... I don't care about church recognition. I want to be able to protect him once I die and I need the government to buy into that.”
“Question is though... did they react because they are gay and don't appreciate the name calling, OR did they react like that because they aren't gay and don't want to be called that because "it's grose to be gay" ... ???”
Trollbaby on Oct 16, 2012 at 20:03:49
“Considering one of the dudes that unleashed the beating was in a pink shirt and leggings, I think its save to assume the former.......”
“I know of one particular monogamous, disease free, healthy B+ gay guy who would like to give if he could... but ya know... can't...”
NJLiberalMom on Jul 31, 2012 at 11:07:08
“Yes! The incredibly strict - and sometimes unreasonable - requirements to donate make me crazy. In NJ ( maybe everywhere?) they say 60% of the population CAN donate and only 2% actually do. Maybe if they didn't make us jump through hoops every time we try to donate, or let healthy gay folks donate, it would be higher than 2%.”
“Student's are not born judgemental. They are born curious. I see mixed races in my classes everyday and that doesn't even register on the kids' minds because they don't care. When they experience how race has no correlation to character they just accept it and that is that. I don't sit there and break up fights about "you're stupid because you're black." I break up fights because "he cutted in line."
If people grow up around gay, black, brown, purple whatever... that is their normal. As more and more people are comfortable accepting their true selves sooner the kids grow up with it and it is just normal. Kids are encouraged to be judgmental by their families. Teachers do their best to ensure that kids accept and respect all people based on their character and actions.”