Aug 18, 2010 at 22:54:23
“Having a narcissistic parent, divorced from a Narcissist, and having similar type bosses, I have plenty of experience. I've learned the hard way: The best thing to do is to keep them as far away from you as possible! The less shared, the better. Even jokes get misconstrued and used against you (including in court!)! It's been one heck of a ride, but now I can spot 'em like a radar! Oh and usually, if you're a highly empathetic person, they are drawn to you like a magnet so beware. They will put you on a pedestal and then tear you down when you least expect it. They will pulverize you and then ask with an innocent look on their faces, "Did I do something to offend you?" and truly not understand what they did. Many are super charming but once you cross them, you won't know what hit you. How can you cross them? Just don't agree with them....one time will do it for a lifetime of hurt! If you have hairs standing up on the back of your neck when you're standing next to someone, trust your gut. Like moramc said...most of the time you are not even aware of the rules that you are supposedly "breaking".”
Jan 29, 2010 at 19:52:44
“Just one thing to think about....who says the breadwinner has to be the one that makes the most (or only source of) money? What about equity? A parent (whether they are male or female) who stays home is contributing a great deal not only to the family, but also to society's future (our children). I think before we have these conversations about gender roles, etc we must give the credit to the parent who is home with the child not as a 0 but with real net worth. This is sort of cute (not scientific) but a stay at home parent's salary was estimated to be worth around $122, 732 (http://swz.salary.com/momsalarywizard/htmls/mswl_momcenter.html ). So with this figure in mind...does this change the definition for some folks of who the breadwinner is? Hypothetically speaking?
I like the author's comment that we now couple for more spiritual reasons (which could potentially lead to longer lasting marriages). In theory yes, but that unfortunately is in an ideal world. More and more marriages are breaking apart as we lose a sense of what commitment and love really mean the minute things get difficult, communities and support networks fall apart as families live farther apart from each other. Bottom line, it takes two mature people without ego, mutual respect, good communication skills and good will to make it work. Then, who cares who's the official "bread winner".”
brooklyncitizen on Jan 30, 2010 at 16:17:11
“I think this is a good point. However the value must be mutually shared. House work and rearing kids has always been undervalued.”