SCharb's Comments (503)

“We had the decency to wait until he was done speaking to criticize him. Did you watch any Bush State of the Unions? No? Well, I can't blame you. But there was no booing or heckling, and that's a fact.”

“Senator Bennet, you just won a fan.”

“Woah, woah, woah! Why is the picture of the ninja accompanying the word "bad?" What has she got against ninjas, man?”

“I don't like him. Don't know too many other liberals who do. Apathy and mixed feelings, sure. On one hand, he was a klanner, on the other hand, it was a long time ago and he's sorry now. Sort of like Nazi Pope, but less frightening.”

“I guess, at the end of the day, you conservatives don't really care about reducing wasteful spending.”

“Fact: flies and mosquitoes spread disease and misery to humanity. If I swat a fly, isn't there at least a one-in-a-million shot that I'm preventing a human being from getting malaria? Don't I have that obligation to prevent human suffering?

Here's another thing. Ever use that Purell stuff? Kills 99.99% of germs. But, aren't such microbes also "living beings?" Is a squirt of Purell genocide or germicide? Is it inhumane to wash my hands?

I disagree with you-- a LOT-- that all life is sacred. Insects have adapted to be expendable, hence the large numbers. But, look at me. Arguing with a crazy person, AGAIN!”

“I live in that area. There's a bishop of Portland? I had no idea. Anyway, great to know that all my Catholic friends' alms money is going into fighting the rights of my gay friends. With all the churches it's been closing recently, shouldn't the Catholic Church back off from big useless political fights and actually use the money to keep open places of worship? You know, the reason (I assume) Catholics give money to the Catholic church in the first place?

How many Catholic congregations and orphanages could be kept alive by the money they're going to pour into fighting gay marriage?”

“Yeah, Keef, you show that snooty elitist designer homo who's the boss! YOU DA MAN!

Wait, what was he upset about over? And why was headbutting his move of choice?”

“I'm beginning to suspect our President really, really loves his email. The first hint was his attachment to his Blackberry... The second hint is his email question. Oh well, there are worse things to be addicted to.”

“What do you get when you mix ideological extremism, hateful bigotry, and thirst for blood with a gun fetish? It's either Al-Qaeda or the GOP.

You know, maybe I'd be more inclined to believe 2nd Amendment Nuts about guns being only for 'self-defense' if the same people weren't always ranting about who they'd like to shoot and why. Scary stuff.”

“They did have a Latino, but I think they sacked him for not being funny enough... which seemed weird to me, because I didn't know that was still part of the job descriptor.”

“If Obama was your doctor, he'd be Doogie Howzer, M.D.

If Sarah Palin was your doctor, you'd sue the hospital for letting the nursing school flunkie do your operation.”

“Family Guy quote, anyone? Stewie: (weakly) "Don't... take me... to a black... doctor!"”

“If Obama wins this election, Newscorp will go belly-up by 2016 and Murdoch will become a panhandler by 2020. Just my guess.”

“True enough... We were right, though. Hillary should have gotten out in February or March, NOT June. Those long extra five months tore this party apart. We all came out pissed at each other, with little time to prepare. Why are you guys going rogue? Not for any ideological reason. There's no substantial divide between Obama and Clinton, neither in intelligence, capability, nor political opinions. Rogue PUMA Clintonites can barely name rational reasons why Obama's so much worse than Hillary. The only thing wrong with Obama, it seems, is that his name isn't Hillary Clinton.

I don't know how we can get you guys back on board. We're struggling to get Clinton-backers back into our camp, and every time some top Clintonista undoes all our hard work, we get pissed. What is it we can do to please you? Let us help you! Why are you so blinded by your love for Hillary, that you can't see the extreme danger of John McCain? We're desperate.

In the coming nights, the Clintons better do a damn good job rounding up their supporters, or the PUMAs and Hillaryis44's will become the Naderites of 2008.”

“Michelle's speech was dynamite, so thorough and sympathetic. So was Ted Kennedy's, which was so emotional, tear-jerking, and evocative, a worthy sequel to the historic speech he gave 28 years ago. Caroline takes bronze for tonight.

Maya Saetoro-Ng and Craig Robinson were also interesting to hear from. I wanted to hear from the Republican they got to speak, but MSNBC decided that that was chatter-time. So far so good for the convention. Wish I was there.”

“Dead-on accurate.”

“It is a very real threat, and extremely possible, but it will not happen. It will not happen for exactly one reason: because we recognize it, because we expect it, because we dread it. And our dread keeps secret service on their toes. They're prepared for the worst, and neither Obama nor his entourage will drop their guard against the nutjobs who may be lurking.

On the other hand, you know that there are a few hundred mentally unstable people in America who are loyal Fox News viewers who tune in every night to hear Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly's slander, and think: "Obama must be destroyed." The mainstream media entertains this ridiculous narrative that Obama 'might be a terrorist' for the same reasons they entertained the ridiculous narrative that King was a communist. They propagate for political points and extra views. They do it to cause mistrust and hatred, which brings in more viewers than the truth. And they recklessly ignore the fact that somewhere there may be a James Earl Ray, a Lee Harvey Oswald, a Sirhan Sirhan, gulping down every word they say.”

“What, doesn't Europe have any lame, egotistical cowboy Senators?”

“I'm not surprised... but I'm still disappointed.”

“Laura Bush? What bad things were said about Laura Bush?”

“Hahaha... great plan, guys. You haven't seen Blazing Saddles, right? Excellent.”

“It was the old liberal/conservative divide that caused the South to secede. They couldn't bear having such a liberal president in the White House, and feared he would revoke slavery. Lincoln, in his First Inaugural, made every effort to assure that he definitely would never ever even consider even barely touching slavery in the states where it exists. Basically, he tried to play himself as politically moderate. Nevertheless, within a few weeks the shots were fired at Fort Sumter.

His views on slavery were way too far to the left for the South, who would rather secede than have a far-left liberal President.

And when they seceded, and before they had a draft, if you'd asked any of those Confederate soldiers what they were fighting for, they'd say "Old Virginia!" or "our way of life!" Robert E. Lee was getting ready to fight on the Union's side, but when Virginia seceded, he told Lincoln that he had to be loyal to Virginia. Basically, the whole secession was caused by political spin and fear-mongering about Lincoln's view on slavery. Only 12% of the South owned slaves, and less than 2% of the South were Plantation owners. The Confederate soldiers fought for another political spin, which was loyalty and their way of life. But mostly, they fought because of misled politics.”

“$200k is either upper-middle class or rich, depending on where you live. But they're not the rich people who we hate.

The FILTHY RICH people, the millionaires and billionaires, are the ones causing all the problems. The selfish, spoiled class living off in a different fantasy world. The CEOs and board members who live on Wall Street and see nothing wrong with giving themselves a 6-figure raise even when their company's stocks are plummeting. The hoity-toity Beverly Hills elitists who spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on 16-k golden dog collars and fancy hairdos. The elitists who own multiple mansions. The people who can afford to spend money to find tax loopholes so they won't need to pay their fair share. The cartoony people who you think "at least there aren't so many people like this" until you realize that wow, they DO exist, in large numbers. And they're ruining America with their childlike self-centeredness.

The Republicans think that raising taxes on the filthy rich is raising taxes on everybody.

Ronald Reagan coined the term "Welfare Queen" for (imaginary) lazy poor people who were spoiling it for everyone else. The Welfare Queen didn't actually exist; the Loophole Leech is no myth.”

“The guy's only 21 years old. That's Animal House age. Any older and it wouldn't be forgivable, but just let it go.”