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Jocelyn Goldfein, Facebook Engineer, Explains Why It Matters There Aren't More Girl Geeks

Jocelyn Goldfein, Facebook Engineer, Explains Why It Matters There Aren't More Girl Geeks

Commented Apr 9, 2012 at 20:28:02 in Technology

“Perhaps yesterday, I should have addressed my post as "SOME COMMON OBSTACLES WHICH PREVENT WOMEN'S SUCCESS IN THE WORKPLACE". (rather than MISTAKES.)
Contrary to the barrage of swords/spears I received in reply - over the past 30 or so years, I've been everything from an Account Manager in major International Advertising Agencies, Marketing Manager of a medium sized Financial Services Group, Professional Development Trainer, Shareholder in a Private Company, - and more latterly - Therapist, Counsellor, Author, Healer and "something indefinable" in the "spiritual world".
I've been BOTH the leader and the led, the manager and the managed, the director and the directed, the lesser and the higher.
I've sat in the one-dimensional boardroom where the "masks" and the "public faces" are on show as well as in the private, personal, one-on-one, deeply multi-dimensional places where BOTH men and women discuss how they REALLY feel and are.
I'll stand by my comments and assessments.
By the way...the OBJECTIVE / IMPERSONAL says: "Your COMMENTS are obnoxious".
The SUBJECTIVE / PERSONAL says: "Y0U are obnoxious"
(see what I mean between DIFFERENTIATING between "the idea" and the "whole person" ?)
I won't say "thanks" for your replies - but - I will say that it all just confirmed for me - yeat AGAIN - what a waste of effort it is for me to make ANY comments, of ANY type, about ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, to ANYONE.”
huffingtonpost entry

Mayan Calendar 2012 Doomsday Scenarios Debunked By NASA Scientist (VIDEO)

Commented Mar 12, 2012 at 00:28:03 in Science

“Thizzled: Thanks your reply. And, your're right.....NOBODY REALLY KNOWS for certain.....But, here's what I put forward:
1) I don't think that Planet Earth wll change THAT radically in just one day/on just one day.
2) I think that the interpretation of the particular date in question is INCORRECT to begin with.
3) I don 't think that there will be ANY "Aliens" popping out of the woodwork to say "hello" or "take charge/take over planet Earth OR human beings ANYTIME SOON!
They know better and would not waste their time and energy.
4) I get REALLY CONCERNED about my fellow human beings who seem to be getting SO excited by the prospect of a shattered planet and a shattered humanity.
I'd suggest instead it would be wiser to be TERRIFIED by THAT particular prospect.
5) No matter WHAT does actually happen, you and I will not be able to stop it anyway.
So why not concentrate on real life and fabulous living - instead of terror and dying...”
huffingtonpost entry

Mayan Calendar 2012 Doomsday Scenarios Debunked By NASA Scientist (VIDEO)

Commented Mar 11, 2012 at 17:22:15 in Science

“Just a question: Why do we seem to be giving so much authority and accuracy to this particular Mayan prophecy?? A "prophecy" which in itself is not even clearly defined - it is an interpretation - NOT an absolute definition. And with the calculation of a "date" which in itself can be seriously questioned because the measure of time which we relate the Mayan measure of time back to i.e. our Western calendar, is in itself around 6 years in error because of the way it was initially calculated. Were our own Western calendar truly accurate, this current year would be 2018 !
So - why exactly the elevation os THIS particular "prophecy" to godhood and sainthood ??
Why do the Mayans have so much authority above others ???”

thizzled on Mar 11, 2012 at 18:06:41

“They use there own time and it was into our calendar to be dec 21st 2012, so they did not need leap year and so on. They have a way better set up it tells when commits will pass earth 50,000 tears from now and stays on time. Also its not the end of the world but the day the world as we know it changes. How it changes is anyone's guess so people guess its the end of humans. I dont think so but who knows.”
Iran Nuclear Coverage Echoes Iraq War Media Frenzy

Iran Nuclear Coverage Echoes Iraq War Media Frenzy

Commented Feb 18, 2012 at 02:03:23 in Media

“EvolveorPerish:
Many thanks your "two-thumbs-up".
Incredible, is'nt it. Here we all are reading and discussing Israel's likelihood of this or America's likelihood of that as though what to choose for tonight's dinner menu was on offer - rather than the probability of THE most catastrophic and insane of war decisions.
And, with about as much gravitas and sincerity as though we REALLY ARE just
watching a reality television series. It has all become so academic and distanced and unreal and removed from the REAL HORRORS, has'nt it. All so ok-as-long-as-it-is-"over there". OK Gentlemen. Let's all grab our dinner jackets now and head off into the dining room. Garcon!! What did you say was on the menu tonight? And...can we please see the wine list.....Aaahh yesss...we'll all choose IRAN for our main course tonight! Such a tasty dish...don't you think???”
Iran Nuclear Coverage Echoes Iraq War Media Frenzy

Iran Nuclear Coverage Echoes Iraq War Media Frenzy

Commented Feb 17, 2012 at 20:43:01 in Media

“"IRAN is a NAUGHTY BOY!! "
This new reality tv series is fast gathering momentum, an enthusiastic
audience and international fans.
This new series is the latest presentation of the ongoing franchise from those well known, family friendly American and International producers, THE BOOM BOOM BOYS.
The triple BBBs are not giving away toooo much just yet. (It might spoil the storyline / surprises for the viewers!)
So, let (we) tv critics do it for them. A Muslim State with a (choke) nuclear weapon! (But, serious viewers...there ALREADY IS such a "demon"....Pakistan. But, that does'nt REALLY count "cause they're a "friend" (choke) ...are'nt they??? Anyone? Everyone? They ARE....are'nt they??? Sweat on the brow....nervous wringing of hands...)
Script 1) Iran gest soooo poked / prodded / assaulted they retaliate ("NAUGHTY BOYS" usually do, don't they...) The West/the Rest just HAS TO "defend" itself from the "demons".
SCRIPT 2) The United States gives Israel the go-ahead to go-in-FIRST - BOOM BOOM !! Iran then does "nasty things" to Israel. The United States/the West/the Rest just HAVE TO come to
"Israel's protection" to "save the day" - and the ENTIRE PLANET - from "the demons".
What an EXCITING edge-of-the-seat experience this new reality tv series is turning out to be !!
Why watch 'HOMELAND" when you can watch the REAL THING !!
"IRAN is a NAUGHTY BOY!!". Simply MUST-SEE television !!”

EvolveorPerish on Feb 17, 2012 at 21:32:33

“two thumbs up!”
Mission To Mars: Would You Sign Up For A One-Way Ticket? (VIDEO)

Mission To Mars: Would You Sign Up For A One-Way Ticket? (VIDEO)

Commented Jan 14, 2012 at 22:04:54 in Science

“Thanks your reply, Swift Jonathan. Human beings always talk about their "search for Intelligent Life in the Cosmos". Yet, "intelligent life" exists on Planet Earth EVERYWHERE, in EVERY WAY, ANYWHERE one looks. Everything is full of intelligent, conscious life. Yet, it is neither acknowledged nor appreciated.
Question for you: IF "intelligent life" exists everywhere here but is not recognized and appreciated - how do you think that "intelligent life" anywhere else in the Cosmos will be recognized, acknowledged and appreciated by Man ??
Answer: Just do not believe or have confidence that it will be.
Gotta get it "right" here before stepping out into the Cosmos.”

SwiftJonathan on Jan 14, 2012 at 22:28:00

“It's easy to recognise intelligent life, if one is intelligent oneself. What is not easy is to value any life, if one is greedy.”
Mission To Mars: Would You Sign Up For A One-Way Ticket? (VIDEO)

Mission To Mars: Would You Sign Up For A One-Way Ticket? (VIDEO)

Commented Jan 14, 2012 at 17:02:50 in Science

“Heck NO !! I'm not signing up for any Mission to Mars. Life here on Planet Earth is just TOO interesting and vibrant. Where else would one find such a place pulsating and ALIVE with such a diverse, wondrous, fascinating variety of LIFE ITSELF.
Last night I watched a tv show where one of the major characters said this: "In a Universe so vast and magical, human beings have managed to INVENT BOREDOM ! "
Think about that profound statement for a moment. Have we become so blind and bored with our own magical planet that we have this rush of desperate need to go off and live on some other Celestial Body?? NOT ME !! There's just NO place in the Universe like Planet Earth !!”

SwiftJonathan on Jan 14, 2012 at 18:27:09

“Don't you hate it that every year more species go extinct on Earth because of eco-system destruction than, most likely, have ever existed on Mars?

;-)”
Memorial Day Tribute: Keep the Troops at Home

Memorial Day Tribute: Keep the Troops at Home

Commented May 29, 2011 at 03:50:29 in Politics

“DaneAZ: Thanks your reply. Yes, I too would love to be "wrong" - but the more I look eyes-wide-open the more I see things as they REALLY ARE! I used to try to "switch off" the "seeing" because it used to bother me so much sometimes. Sometimes, seeing the discrepancy and the gap between how things APPEAR TO BE and how things ACTUALLY ARE was to big to reconcile and maintain my own "centre of gravity" within it.
Now, I'm at ease within it. It does'nt change "how things actually are" but I still keep posing the question to people: "What HAS to happen, what NEEDS to happen to CHANGE the way things ACTUALLY ARE?" Whatever the "best" answers are, one thing I know - NOTHING changes the way things ACTUALLY ARE until what ACTUALLY IS becomes SO UNACCEPTABLE to ENOUGH people for LONG ENOUGH that they are WILLING TO CHANGE.
Until then, it's all "business as usual".
Cheers, DaneAZ and best wishes with your own "centre of gravity".”
Memorial Day Tribute: Keep the Troops at Home

Memorial Day Tribute: Keep the Troops at Home

Commented May 28, 2011 at 18:11:24 in Politics

“A truly commendable article. I'd put it another way:
"The DESIRE for war / domination makes "EVIL" the NECESSITY".
I'm not American - but to observe all this from the "outside" is both fascinating and frightening.
Fascinating because so many appear to express their disenchantment / distress and frightening because to those who actually DO run your shows, IT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE!
End results remain the same - NOTHING CHANGES.
TWO nations at play here? The "nation" of "Washington" and the "nation of Everywhere Else? And "Everywhere Else" seems to keep coming off "second best" ? And the "nation" of "Washington" just keeps rollin' along in its own massively powerful cocoon- within-a-bubble but the "nation" of "Everywhere Else" has a voice, but remains powerless, and pays the price?
If you or I as individual citizens of "Everywhere Else" did as "Washington"does, we'd all be thrown in jail! Deemed to be "criminals" !
"Your Honour: I thought he was "evil" so I killed him"
"God spoke to me and said all the killing was OK"
"He threatened my "values" so I blew up his house! "
"I wanted to dominate the neighbourhood so I went to war on the neighbourhood"
" I wanted his power and land and resources so I cut him down and just took them!"
Any Defense lawyer out there think that you'd "win" the "case" with these "defenses" ?
NOT likely ! Yet, the "nation" of "Washington" keeps "winning the case" EVERY DAY!
And, keeps getting”

DaneAZ on May 28, 2011 at 19:43:12

“I so wish I could find anything that could disprove your statements.
Other than wishful thinking that is.
But if I choose to rely only on facts - then I cannot.”
The Essential Ingredient You May Be Missing for Happiness

The Essential Ingredient You May Be Missing for Happiness

Commented Apr 2, 2012 at 17:04:45 in Healthy Living

“Want more "play" in your life? Want to remember how to play again?
Then - get a DOG ! Preferably TWO dogs or more because -just like people - dogs are very social animals who need another of their own species to relate to.
Dogs are BRILLIANT to teach you how to "play". Dogs are always ready to play - at anything and with you.
Dogs have this unselfconscious "innocence" about them and every day is an adventure for them.
With dogs you can be funny or silly and playful and huggy. They let you get physically "close" without any anxiety.
Dogs are very "in the moment" beings. Everything is NOW - yesterday has gone and tomorrow has'nt arrived yet - so adventure and play is NOW!
My husband and I have a small tribe of dogs of varying persuasions and personalities.
Since I can communicate with dogs and animals generally, I've learned much from them.
They often give me amazing insights and their way of seeing themselves and the world generally, is straightforward and uncomplicated. They don't hold grudges and they have marvellous instinctive ways of relating to each other - as well as to me and husband!
I think that Dogs can give human beings a lot of clues about "happiness".”
What Is Karma and How Does it Work?

What Is Karma and How Does it Work?

Commented Apr 2, 2012 at 03:16:23 in Healthy Living

“solitude1951: Thanks your reply. I think we all DO come to our own understanding - but we also need to be sure that it is OUR OWN understanding and NOT what somebody or something else has feed us as "real" or "true.
I think that the concepts of "Karma" along with so much of all the various religious/spiritual/Cosmic/ET concepts/dogmas/doctrines etc...fit the category of "being fed to us".
Our own lives and life conditions do give us real "clues" as to what is what - but we have all been weaned and fed on so much reliance on external "authorities" that we either mistrust our own authority or don't really recognize it at all.
When there's a BIG gap between theory/what you're told/dogma/doctrine and your actual EXPERIENCE - look into the gap. Whatever you discover there will give you your clues.
And P.S.: DON'T fall for all the "you CHOSE all this/YOU agreed/contracted for all this". There are black holes in that one you can drive a tank through ! How can you tell ? When there's a constant banging away at your consciousness that "something is'nt right here" - because when somehing IS "right" here - you do NOT have the constant banging away within your consciousness !!
Best wishes.”

solitude1951 on Apr 2, 2012 at 19:29:34

“Thanks. I'll be listening/looking for any banging.”
What Is Karma and How Does it Work?

What Is Karma and How Does it Work?

Commented Mar 26, 2012 at 20:25:21 in Healthy Living

“Some guidance on "Karna" / Learning / Understanding....
For over 13 years I experienced both pleasure / pain of working /travelling through life with Extraterrestrials. It l almost crushed my very life Itself - but in the end, it has proven to be fabulously Enlightening, tremendously Self Empowering and truly a journey of Self Freedom, Self Authority, Self Love, Self Worth. But to get to that place, I went through the Valley of the Shadow of Death of THE most awful SELF SACRIFICE . deception. trickery, false hope. false promises, false "truths", illusions of belief. I NEVER "contracted" for these abuses - nor was I "paying any debt" for any "past sin".
But, I did pay dearly - MASSIVELY - for my own Ignorance and lack of SELF LOVE.
I finished it all by telling the ET Beings the same things I said to the particular Human Beings involved: When you value ME as much as I valued YOU -
When you treat me as well as I treated you -
When you support me as much as I supported you -
When you are as truthful and honourable with me as I was with you -
When you see to it that I am recognized and HUGELY financially rewarded (as promised) for my efforts, -
When you see to it that my worth is valued every bit as much as yours - come back and see me.
UNTIL THEN ?? Please PISS OFF and keep big distance between us.”
What Is Karma and How Does it Work?

What Is Karma and How Does it Work?

Commented Mar 26, 2012 at 16:17:20 in Healthy Living

“I won't call it all "Karma" - I'll call it LEARNING and UNDERSTANDING.
Judith IS right about one thing though - 20/20 hindsight IS brilliant! We only do understand it all AFTER we have got the "learning" and can then look back with the understanding.
It is all about UNDERSTANDING SELF - because when one does that then one can understand others.
By the time you have achieved this you'll probably be a whole different person from the "Self" you were before you began the journey and you'll realize just how narrow and limited your original version of "Self" actually was. You'll see what your deepest, core self-beliefs actually WERE and how they underwrote the overall conditions of your life before.
You'll know that you cannot change ANYBODY ELSE ! You can ONLY change YOURSELF.
Your whole bedrock of core beliefs probably will have been upturned, rearranged and transformed - and - you will be VERY GLAD that they have !! (You just definitely will NOT want to repeat it all ! )”

solitude1951 on Mar 31, 2012 at 17:35:11

“I've found what you say to be true. I think I'm still narrow and limited, though. When I finally just "quit" everything and relaxed and just be, you see what all you been wasting time trying to figure out. What difference does it make what any of us think? We've still got to come to our own understanding.”
How to Be Amazing When You Suck at Everything

How to Be Amazing When You Suck at Everything

Commented Feb 22, 2012 at 17:57:36 in Healthy Living

“Love the spirit if this author. Too often, we do what we think we SHOULD do/MUST do...rather than what we truly want/love to do. Which is which?
Assess your life as it REALLY is...your health/wealth/relationships / overall "state of BEING". Is whoever/whatever LOVING YOU BACK IN RETURN or is it a state of UNREQUITED LOVE?? IF the latter, whoever/whatever is NOT "right/"best"...for YOU.
Does whoever/whatever give you what you really NEED - let alone what you may desire/love??
"Follow your Heart" / "Follow your Intuition" ?? BE CAREFUL!! "Heart" and "intuition" NOT INFALLIBLE !! Both ONLY give you what they know how TO WORK WITH !!
THIS DOGMA can result in BIG MISTAKES !!
After 15 years of struggle, hardship, desperation, grief, disappointment, impoverishment, lack in every way, and being on the receiving end of fellow human beings cruelty / ignorance / darkness, I finally took my own advice. Finished it , said Goodbye, closed the door.
NOT FOR ME !! In retrospect, I could'nt think of anyone else who would be more WRONG for my last 15 years than ME !! I did'nt fit it and it did'nt fit me. The results showed up constantly, in EVERY area of my life.
You'll deeply question what LOVE IS / IS NOT. You'll get your answers by TRULY assessing your life, it's conditions, your overall state of BEING.”

hp blogger Tiphani N. Montgomery on Feb 23, 2012 at 15:48:51

“Well said.”
Dealing With Iran

Dealing With Iran

Commented Feb 4, 2012 at 16:40:11 in World

“"IRAN is a NAUGHTY BOY" !!
As WE predicted elsewhere, this reality TV series is rapidly proving to be the BIG smash hit of 2012.
The series is brought to you by those well known, family friendly chain of American and International BOOM BOOM BOYS.
Yes, that's right folks - "Thuh Boom Boom Boys are in da House!" (Have they ever REALLY left??)
The triple BBBs are always seeking new talent to maintain the ratings and their status as THE SUPERPOWER and there, long waiting in the wings to flesh out the script into REAL REALITY, has been IRAN - that pesky, noisy outsider who simply will NOT be put down.
The story line comes with the well worn path of usual suspects e.g. presidential wannabees frothing at the mouth with patriotic fervor, Israel chaffing at the bit to release carnage, Military / Security services predicting dire warnings, leaders attempting to show REAL LEADERSHIP, Media baying for blood, a dIsengaged Public prepared to (silently) go along with anything and the Target Nation protesting bluster and defense.
Gotta hand it to the BOOM BOOM BOYS - they just NEVER run out of ideas and enthusiasm to keep you distracted and entertained, do they.....
So, stay tuned to your televisions, folks. "IRAN is a NAUGHTY BOY" !! is guaranteed to only get better, stronger and louder as it goes along.
Thuh BOOM BOOM BOYS are IN DA HOUSE !!”
Diet, Diabetes and Paula Deen: The Case for Loving Food That Loves Us Back

Diet, Diabetes and Paula Deen: The Case for Loving Food That Loves Us Back

Commented Jan 20, 2012 at 15:29:56 in Healthy Living

“Speaking of loving food which loves us back in return - one of my favourite topics and something I preach on all the time. If you are diabetic or indeed, have any type of Insulin/sugar issues - here is one of nature's AMAZING little gifts for you. CINNAMON. Yes, you heard it right! That simple little spice, available anywhere from supermarkets to health stores, and which costs only around $2.00 a packet MIMICS INSULIN PERFECTLY. And it smells and tastes good too! (And, much cheaper than doctors fees and prescription drugs!)”

janeinmia on Jan 21, 2012 at 09:25:15

“I take a teaspoon of cinnamon daily.”

jgarma on Jan 20, 2012 at 19:46:23

“Apple cider vinegar and fermented foods like sauerkraut work similarly to cinnamon to moderate the glucose uptake stimulated by simple (low fiber) carbs, such as white bread, white rice, packaged wheat-based foods and the like.”
As Science Turns Its Attention to Feeling

As Science Turns Its Attention to Feeling

Commented Jan 15, 2012 at 15:23:03 in Science

“Recless: So this does'nt develop into a verbal battleground of win/lose and "fight-to-be-right" - there was once a time when I - like you - would jump up and say "simply NOT TRUE" ! Not possible! Cannot be!
But I don't do that anymore because I opened myself up to the "unknown" and my experiences have shown me just how much human beings do NOT know/understand and just how narrow our definitions of "truth" actually are. Human beings have a NEED to "define" something/somebody because "definition" gives some measure of "security". (Think of somebody you cannot "define" and then think of how secure you feel around them.) But, it's that very need which narrows down our scope, our vision, our knowledge, our grasp of what is "true".
As to "rigid dogma" - just think of any time you're "challenged" and you jump up and down and say "Simply NOT TRUE" ! and you will see and know just where your own rigid dogmas actually are.
Best wishes for best relationships for you.”
As Science Turns Its Attention to Feeling

As Science Turns Its Attention to Feeling

Commented Jan 15, 2012 at 06:43:27 in Science

“Recless - what I said was the human experience will always be beyond RIGID DOGMAS.
Meaning - the more fixed and rigid we are with our definitions of how people/things are the more likely it is that we'll come across people/things which we perceive as being OUTSIDE our dogmas - and the more likely it is that we'll perceive the "outsider" as a "problem". Relying on our rigid dogmas to define/understand ourselves - or anybody else - is akin to looking through a few windows on the ground floor of a 2 story house and believing you know the whole truth of the whole house - just by looking through a few windows from the outside. The conundrum faced by Science is that it wants/attempts to define the UNDEFINABLE. So too do rigid/fixed dogmas and doctrines. Truly, once we drop our dogmas and embrace the undefinable, we experience far fewer "problems".”

recless on Jan 15, 2012 at 08:47:34

“I'm sorry, but that is simply not true. Science does not attempt to define the undefinable. It assumes a physical universe governed by laws that can be empirically found, which then are used to accurately predict. By definition, science assumes nothing as "undefinable". (The inability to measure some things is an inability of technology, not science).

Now as for rigid dogmas... you'd have to specifically define what you mean by a dogma. I've seen the scientific method misidentified as a "rigid dogma"...”
As Science Turns Its Attention to Feeling

As Science Turns Its Attention to Feeling

Commented Jan 14, 2012 at 16:49:47 in Science

“Speaking as a Therapist, Counsellor and Healer, one of the common mistakes Professionals make (I've done it too) is to attempt to place rigid definitions on the "human condition" e.g. behaviour, feelings, attitudes, mental health, mental "problems", what is "positive" or "negative", what is "right" or "wrong". Then, once the rigid definitions are laid down as Dogma/Doctrine, everyone/everything gets assessed within these rigid confines. Dogma then "owns" what is put forward as "truth". Dogma "rules". The Human Experience is so multi-layered/multi-dimensional it will ALWAYS be BEYOND "rigid Dogmas" / professional assessments. "Feelings" are intense, physical energy DRIVEN by Mind Beliefs/Programmes. That's why "feelings" can lead us down such destructive paths. ALWAYS what's in our MINDS comes FIRST - and then is EXPRESSED in physical energy we call feelings/emotions. A recommendation: NEVER make major decisions/take big actions in a state of hot/intense emotions - whether joy/pleasure or anger/hostility.. "Best choices" usually come from a "cool mind" !”

recless on Jan 15, 2012 at 01:17:16

“Humans are meaning making machines... we all put our own subjective meaning to any label, even the empirically based ones. That isn't just a problem for therapists, it is a real problem across the board. Combined with the drop in our reading comprehension levels, seems odd to me that anyone makes any relationships work.

But I have to disagree with you that the human experience will always be beyond science. Unless you can show that the human experience is "supernatural" in nature, then there is no reason whatsoever that empirical study will not produce an accurately-predictive model.”
Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Commented Sep 19, 2011 at 19:24:36 in Divorce

“"CoffeeMan" .
Your comments jolted me but did not offend . What they did was highlight something far far bigger than caps-no-caps-who-cares-whatever-caps. They showed where people's importances/values/priotities DO lie.
Last night I watched a Jesus-Man / his followers who teach that unless he/she is your "soulmate" then they are "spiritually WRONG for you" - that it will be in your "soul's interests" to leave them ( amongst other things ). Their messages are also directed at children. Yet, he/his organization have mega thousands of followers/believers around the world. People donate lots of money, huge chunks of land, materiels, support, publicity, promotion - show him huge gratitude - volunteer their means/services - give, give, give.
Yet, apart from my dearly beloved husband and a few other count-on-your-fingers-of-just-one-hand, NOBODY gives me a DARN THING - and that's out of a planetary population nudging nigh 7 billion people !
Whatever benefit what I've said / done has been to anybody else - for ME, not only has it been zip/zero, not only has it NOT given me anything of worth/value - it has taken a HUGE AMOUNT FROM ME.
That's REALLY what your comments highlighted to me.
CoffeeMan, whether Don Quixote or not, I really AM a very large deepwater fish who has been floundering in far-too-shallow waters for far, far too long.
All the best in relationships - and - watch out for "Jesus-People" !”
Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Commented Sep 19, 2011 at 16:39:53 in Divorce

“Thanks Ugacrew, your response.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone does you a favour - even when that's not what they intended to do?
Coffeeman's comment really jolted me initially - but it also boomed out at me, writ large, mega volume, how TRULY such a pathetic waste of effort all this has been for me!
We DO live in a world where whether someone writes in caps IS considered far more important than what someone says or does!
I place three full posts - as a professional - and the only feedback I receive centres around writing in caps! One critiques and one (yours) defends. But, the messages and guidance themselves were INVISIBLE!
Last night I said to myself why in the Cosmos am I bothering to write ANYTHING to ANYBODY about WHO CARES. No matter where it is and what it is.
I'm a top shelf Professor still speaking to first year high schoolers.
But, NO MORE!
Thanks again your response and best wishes too in your relationships and your "love-seeking" !”
Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Commented Sep 19, 2011 at 03:54:11 in Divorce

“Thanks for your response, Mochalite. No, I did not know that. But, does it really make any difference, anyway? Does what I say really matter to anybody else?
Does it change anything or anybody? I don't think so.
I'm just a "Don Quixote" here who has wasted precious years of energy, tilting at windmills.
Such a "precious" world we live in that writing in caps for emphasis should be so off-putting. Or is it really the message which is so off-putting? Or the messenger?
Either way, who really gives a toss here? Not me anymore, either.
But thanks anyway, for the advice.
Good luck with all your relationships!”

ugacrew on Sep 19, 2011 at 09:52:31

“Southern,

I read your post and understood your caps tor eflect strong passion.”
Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Commented Sep 18, 2011 at 19:27:31 in Divorce

“The SPIRIT of MARRIAGE is UNION. The SPIRIT of RELATIONSHIP is some form of TOGETHERNESS. Marriage requires the WHOLE of YOU - Relationship does not, Just a part will do.
Over and over and over again, I've seen married people who REALLY want to be single and single people who REALLY want to be married! Yet, both groups seek the WHOLE - but both groups only GIVE HALF. You'll NEVER get "whole" as long as you only give "half".
Yet, that's what I see people do WANT and EXPECT! Over and over again. Then, there's the disappointment. angst, hostility, heartbreak, suffering, disillusionment, when one does not RECEIVE WHOLE. People want all the "goodies" that "whole" is likely to give you - but hey!
DON'T expect ME to GIVE WHOLE! But YOU - you please give ME all ya got and all ya are, baby - and I'LL be SATISFIED! Then WE will be "happy" ! (NO. Probably NOT! At least, not "WE" )
Maybe just YOU. But, what about ME ?
It here is one experience I can recommend that everyone do at least once in your life, GET WHOLLY TRULY FULLY UNITED IN REAL MARRIAGE. Even IF the marriage does not last the lifetime, it will sort out who you are - and probably a lot more "goodies" besides!”

MochaLite on Sep 18, 2011 at 21:09:21

“Do you know that when you post in all caps, it's an absolute message to everyone to not read your post?”
Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Commented Sep 18, 2011 at 17:11:48 in Divorce

“Yesterday, I commented on "seeking love" and "commitment". A few more offerings, then.
In relationships, people bandy around "commitment". "Commitaphobes" are spoken about, people
are/are not "willing". QUESTION: COMMITMENT to WHAT? Longevity? Fidelity? Love you forever?
Undying love/support? Each others needs? Take care of each other?
What's the difference between "RELATIONSHIP" and "UNION/PARTNERSHIP/MARRIAGE" ?
The former has us just IN each other's lives/lives running in parallel. The latter has us CREATING OUR LIVES TOGETHER. VERY different! If someone is NOT prepared/available to go all out and create our lives together, then why would "commitment" even be a question?
"We all seek love" - yes we do but of course what we all perceive/believe/expect IS love can be very different. It's in THIS area where things fall apart.
What we EXPERIENCE gives us our strongest "truths" - regardless of what the dogmas/doctrines/beliefs/traditions tell us truth/ love SHOULD be. Our dilemmas/problems/confusions/issues occur when there is a big gap between experience and dogma. Too often we downgrade/doubt/question the EXPERIENCE. I think we should instead doubt/question so many of our dogmas about "love".”
Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Wasbands And Wives: Seven Reasons To Stay Married

Commented Sep 17, 2011 at 19:02:07 in Divorce

“Kidos for this article! In the years between my previous/current marriage, my experiences opened my eyes ENORMOUSLY to "relationships" of ALL kinds - romantic, "committed", friendships, casuals, families, workmates, clients. A few things stand out: how much we ALL "seek love" - yet, how much this "seeking" is denied! Acquaintances chattered on to me about how much they "felt free" being single - whilst I said how I never felt more free than when I was married!
"Commitment" was tossed around like salad in a bowl. One boyfriend (whom I left) - he screamed "NO ONE EVER LEFT HIM!" later wrote to me bleating how much he had been "committed" to me.
(Hmmm. I thought - all these other women anywhere/everywhere he went.)
I thought if one is to be REALLY committed, then marry the person - otherwise, why bother!
And, just how TERRIFIED we all are of REAL TRUTH within OURSELVES and WITH each other.
Men and women alike. And: if I were a man, how few women I would like or trust. I discovered that women were NO more "trustworthy" than men - in spite of women's bleats to the contrary.
And: Marriage is great "teacher" of love and who you are. Long may it live!”
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